Official List of Things I Hate - Early 2005

For your amusement, a current list of the things I hate:

1. Electronic Equipment Cords
   They are like rabbits, multiplying around me... my 9-month-old seems to LOVE them and by-passes the coolest of toys to get one quick grab at one so she can put it in her mouth! ZIPPPP!
2. Reporters Who Cover Michael Jackson Stories
   Can someone just please castrate the man in his sleep? I'm sick of hearing about him molesting more and more young boys? Who ARE these stupid parents letting their kids within 10 feet of the freak?
3. Celebrities Who Think They Have Political Influence
   Like I give a CRAP who Ben Affleck is voting for? Regardless of party affliation, I’m so sick of celebrity arrogance when it comes to politics. Ben, we just wanted to see your "bootie," so shut your pie-hole already!
4. Anything with Low-Carb on It
   Ironically enough, I’m probably about to have to go on some kind of low-carb variation of diet. But, still, enough already! If I scarf a honkin’ big bowl of ice cream, it better have the damn carbs in it, and the fat, and all the sug, sug, sugaaah!
5. People Who Wait Until I Look Exhausted To Ask Me—So, Are You STILL Glad You Had Another Baby?
   Look, I didn’t CHOOSE to have my kids almost 5 years apart! Do you think I enjoy having to go back to diaper changing/spit-up hell? But, I am here, and I love my daughter, EVEN when she's fussy and I'm tired. So, SHUT UP already!
6. Not Having My Own Income
   This is really hard when you are a control freak. I won’t get into this one, it’s a big ‘old can of worms. If you quit your job to stay home with kids, cawl me. We'll have cawlfee...and tawlk....
7. Forgetting Important Dates/Events
   I hate looking like a disorganized loser, but my mind just doesn’t function at full capacity right now. No prognosis on when it may come back!
8. My Mattress
   It is old and uncomfortable and I hate it. Yet, I am too cheap to go by another one. The result, I often “roam” at night, sleeping on the couch downstairs, upstairs, a comfy chair. I know it isn’t ALL my mattresses’ fault, since I’m from a long-line of insomniacs, but for right now I’m blaming it!
9. My 5+ Year Old Hairstyle
   OK, I need a change, but I don’t want to go super short and attempts to grow it out have proven quite scary. I need a serious ambush makeover though, I just KNOW it! I can now see how these people get on Oprah who are stuck in a time warp. Very scary!
10. Plastic Surgery Shows
    This is REALLY getting out of control...as bad as reality TV. Can't someone just work hard and lose weight/change themselves the good old-fashioned way anymore? Oh, gotta go. I have an appointment to have my teeth whitened. ("Hello, Pot? This is Kettle. Um, you're black.")