A songstress in the making...

Due to recent experiences, I want to share with you my latest musical achievement. It is certain to be a success, since the original song was at the top of the charts and it has the lamest lyrics ever. My lyrics are MUCH more relatable to the everyday woman, I think. Sing along and see what you think:

I Want a New Sports Bra (sung to the Huey Lewis tune, "I Want a New Drug")

I want a new Sports Bra,
One whose wires don't stick,
One that won't puncture my right one,
Or make me look six feet thick

I want a new Sports Bra,
One that won't hurt my rack,
One that won't make me bounce all around,
Or make my boobage, slap me back

One that won't make me nervous,
Wondering what to do,
Afraid I'll pull a Janet Jackson,
If I bend to tie my shoe....

Ohhhh...I need a new Sports Bra, it's true...

I want a new Sports Bra,
One that won't let "the girls" spill,
One that don't cost too much,
Or mold my tits into one big hill.

I want a new Sports Bra,

One that won't do the bob and swing,

Hitting all those 'round me,

When I'm in kickboxing.

One that won't make me nervous,
Wondering what to do,
Afraid I'll pull a Janet Jackson,
If I bend to tie my shoe...

I need a Sports Bra, it's true, baby yeah, yeah...

I want a new Sports Bra,
One that does what it should ,
One that won't make me look too stacked ,
or squish 'em WAY to the back .

I want a new Sports Bra,
One with some clout,
One that won't make me flap too much ,
Or flatten my boobs right out.

One that won't make me nervous,

Wondering what to do,

Afraid I'll pull a Janet Jackson,

If I bend to tie my shoe...

Oh...I need a Sports Bra, it's true, baby...oh yeah YEAH...