A friend is a friend is a friend...

I've done a lot of thinking lately about friends and their importance in my life. It is inevitable that friendships change once you grow older, have children, and enter different phases in your life--sometimes drastically different from the people you've called your friends for years. And, sometimes those changes are enough to fizzle a friendship, or cause it to fade from view. But, not always, and I think that's what I'm finding most special these days.

This evening I got a little email from an old friend with whom I worked in Dallas before we moved here. We haven't seen each other in many years. And, yet, when I barely made mention of recent crankiness in la casa de MomCat, she picked up on there being more and told me before she ended her email that if the crankiness didn't go away, I could always call or email her to chat. She commiserated having just moved and reminded me she was always there for me. This is a pal with whom I send Christmas cards and maybe a few emails a year. Yet, that one sentence touched me because I knew she truly meant it. And, it was as if we'd worked together just yesterday. Funny how a good friend can be that way, isn't it?

In times of crises or even despair, it becomes instantly obvious who is really your friend and who really isn't. The real friends are the ones who see through any masks you put on to hide the pain and call you on it. They are the ones who have noticed something off with you, even before you've mentioned a word.

They are the ones who might be at a busy time in their life--during a move, making life changes themselves, or just bogged down with work, and they still emphatically tell you to call them if you need to talk no matter what. They worry for you, pray for you, and listen to you rant with an open mind and an even more open heart.

They're on your side no matter what, even when you might be wrong in the first place. And, they may even know that, but they don't care...you're their friend. That's all that matters. Period.

While this is Mother's Day and I do want to make a big shout out to my fellow Mommy Bloggers (gah--sorry I used that dreaded label again ladies...ha!) and wish them a most awesomely special day, I also want to send some love to my friends.

You know who you are. And, as you read this, know that it is the same as a big hug from me. I only hope that I can be as good of a friend to you, in your time of sadness or need, as you have been to me. Thank you for being my posse over the years, for having my back and for caring enough to listen at times when I don't even understand what is really even coming from my mouth. I *HEART* you all!

Making Peace with Mike

Now, that I've talked out my anxiety about Disney, I'm making peace with Mike. I've printed off his suggested agendas for reading on the plane. I'm now just more ready to go more than anything. I thought I'd share my memories of Disney from the one trip I made as a teen.

At 12, I was really too old to get super excited about Walt Disney World, and yet I really was. My parents rarely took trips and were just fine with that. I had always had the itch to travel. An itch that stays with me today. I look forward to my retirement/empty nester years because I hope to be able to travel to all the places I've never seen. I find myself envious of friends who have the finances and freedom to take spontaneous trips. Not that we haven't taken some great family trips in our past. When you have kids, especially school-aged kids, and you've been on one income (mostly) for more than 8 years, well you have to pace yourself and spontenaity is a thing of the past.

My sister was 4 at the time of our trip. I remember we both were excited about stopping off to see our family in Fort Walton Beach before we drove the rest of the way to Orlando. My mother was not, and let us know that quite often both on the way to Florida and even while we were there. Her lifestyle didn't mesh with my Dad's families really. There was too much drinking and telling of the same stories over and over again. Me, I just thought about the two story dock at my grandmother's house on the water. And, the special platform bed she had in her guest room that closed up like a closet. It was the coolest thing ever!

The long drive to Florida took about a day and a half, so we'd get to stay in a hotel and do fun things like eat in waffle houses and eat all the fast food we could ever want. How perfect is that for a preteen, I ask you?

My sister and I always had trouble with fighting with one another, even back then. But, what remains in my head about this trip was not squabbling. It was silly memories of just having fun with her. The 8-year age gap went away for us during that trip, and I find myself feeling happy when I see this going on these days with my son and daughter who are five years apart in age.

I remember blasting music in the back speakers of the van we'd taken on our trip to Disney, a demo van my Dad had borrowed from the current dealership he managed. We loved how the van had seats that could lay down into a flat bed in the back and you still had bucket seats in the middle. During one song as we drove through either Alabama or Mississippi we would recline and sit up the buckets seats to the music. I am sure it drove my parents nuts, but we laughed and laughed. Another stretch of road we got to get out and tour a Coca Cola bottling plant. When we hit a long patch of heavy rains, we'd wait until we went under the over passes when the rain sound would cease for a few seconds and flop back our bucket seats and sigh, "AHHHHH" and then giggle each time.

Disney turned out to be a lot of fun. I have a lot of special memories from that trip, including a fishing trip with my Dad that I've talked about on here before. Our family grew closer during that trip, even with my parents' squabbles over the map, my Dad shouting back to us to be quiet when he got in traffic, and my mom's getting frustrated that he didn't allow enough potty breaks for all the rest of us girls in the car.

So, this Disney trip for me, and some of my anxiety about it I suppose, is that I look forward to that family bonding that only a family vacation can bring you. I crave that right now. And, I think my entire family really needs it. It might be something that helps us through a very difficult place. On the negative side, the stress of it could be very detrimental as well. But, I like to think it could make all the difference in the world...and bring a little magic to our lives again. Everyone needs a little magic now and then, don't you think?

Down with Tour Guide Mike

I haven't posted here in a full week. Is it because I'm devastated at the loss of Aggie dread-locked, Vinnie-Babarino-like Jason Castro from American Idol? Noooo...happy about that one...

Am I still reeling from the latest and most confusing episode of "Lost." Neh, but if you can tell me where we've seen that odd black man that popped up this episode, DO comment because it is driving me CRAZY trying to remember!

Do I have life outside of TV? Why, heavens yes! Although, I admit it doesn't always sound like I do from this vantage point.

Actually, I have had a very energizing and anxious week. I started back with my personal trainer and have dedicated myself to getting back in great shape and losing the pounds. Oh, and I'm also planning next week's family vacation to Disney.

We leave Monday. I just found out last night that all of my in-laws are in town this weekend for Mother's Day and my niece's birthday. Lovely. I have nothing planned for either. No gifts. No flowers. No cards. And, worst of all, no time to get/do any of those things.

Now, in addition to that kind of stress, I've been having what some might call Pre-Disney Jitters. I am nervous as heck about our trip because I am not prepared whatsoever. And,little things like, oh finding out you have to make reservations for all the coolest dining places in the evening which I, of course, have not. We will probably be eating funnel cakes and corn dogs every night and our closest character interaction may be sitting next to a Mikey Trash Can at the snack bar, as far as I can tell.

If you've picked up on some anxiety, you completely correct. And, adding to my anxiety is this little fella'. His name is Tour Guide Mike. He looks friendly enough, doesn't he? Don't be fooled...
Tour Guide Mike dazzles you with the vault of information and advice on his website, but really he's sent from the "Debil" (in my best Kathy Bates from The WaterBoy movie voice) to torment virgin Disney trippers into feeling like there is no way their trip is going to turn out great without memorizing every fact he preaches to you.

I first learned about Mike at the Scout meeting Wednesday. Apparently, Mikey boy gets around. He's well known among the suburban Disney vacation planners circuit, which I wasn't even aware was in existence. You've not truly done Disney, unless you've done Mike first. (Uh, wait, that came out wrong...)

"You mean, you haven't booked any character dinners yet? Oh, no..."

"You ARE staying on property right? You simply MUST..."

"Do you have your itinerary planned out yet? You must get that planned before
you go!"

"Are you doing the park-hopping, fast-passing, magic extended hours
route?"

Yeah, I haven't a clue, people. So, when another mom told me about Mike's site, I immediately bought into it. And, that is, literally I bought into it. The site cost about $20 and this guy gives you the dirt on the best rides to ride and when, when to see the parks, and everything from which places to eat to what time to eat and when to get up and hit the park.

Seeing as we leave Monday and I haven't done jack-you-know-what, well I quickly entered my credit card info and put my trust whole-heartedly in Mike.

Mike is not helping me. In fact, Mike is stressing me out more. With all of his you MUST print this out and you MUST read this, and take your laptop with you so you can review my suggestions while you're there. Be sure to print your itinerary and follow it to a "T."

Dude, I just wanted to go to Disney, ride some rides and see some Mouse action! You know? When did all of this get so complicated? I am a planner, but not like this, and I'm just not good with travel plans. So, last night, I gave in. I sent the Mike link to my husband with my password. There was NO way I could cover all Mike had to say between now and Monday morning.

And, as it turns out, at least one member of our family doesn't want to assassinate Mike. Hubs stayed up last night and learned all kinds of info. We've now rented a car and he's talked about how certain days we have to hit certain parks, when we want to do the magic extended hours. In summary, hubs is DOWN with the Disney force and is Mike's new best friend. And, me, I'm still floundering around trying to let it absorb in my head, much like I'd be doing if I was left to take care of...oh, say, our taxes.

So, instead of fighting it, I'm going to just try to accept Mike for what he is and take what I can from him without letting him get under my skin too much. I can only do so much, Mike, and I hope you can understand that.

Today, I have to take my son a lunch treat at school, help out with his lunch duty for his teacher's birthday, go to lunch with my husband (Thai is a high priority in our lives), pick up the daughter, deal with two simultaneous playdates (two 8-year-old boys who want to build a Lego kingdom in my living room and two 4-year-old girls who will bother them the entire time), wash laundry and try to start packing, find a birthday gift for an 11-year-old niece, find mothers' day gifts for my mother-in-law and my own mom, make dinner and squeeze in time to watch something nonstressful on the DVR tonight (No Country for Old Men awaits its second viewing, but I don't know if I can handle that tonight.)

So, Mike the Tour Guide may just have to take a backseat to my life right now. And, horror of all horrors, reservations may not get made until we hit the park. Let's hope he understands...

MomCat Reviews: KINZIN - Share Your Memories without the Privacy Risk

One of the choices I have made as a parent and a blogger is to refrain from showing photos of my kids in this forum. It isn't that I don't want to show my two off, mind you. But, after reading story after story of loving parents putting their kids photos online, only to have those photos altered or enjoyed by any low-life pervert, well I got scared.

I used to keep a family blog with photo updates for both sides of our family. It was wonderful, but very difficult to maintain and keep up-to-date as uploading photos was slow and tedious and things like captions were not easy to insert. Then, the whole privacy issue came up so I dropped that too.

Also, I am an avid scrapbooker, so I have also tried many of the photo processing websites, but I find they lack a personal touches that a web page might include, and are filled with more ads for photo processing than my family members probably want to have to weed through just to see pictures of us.

Well, I think I've finally found a solution to all of this. Kinzin is a new site dedicated to protecting your privacy while letting you show family and friends what is new with you and your family. From the Kinzin site, it is very easy to upload photos. The great part is you can add captions to the photos as you go, making it like an online book. I could see this being so great for trip photos that you want to share because you can add tidbits of information on each shot.

Setting up your distribution list is as simple as typing in the name and email list and my family had no trouble viewing them once accepting their privately emailed invitation. (A few members of my family are tech-phobic, so this is really saying something.)

And one of my favorite features is that viewers can leave comments on each photo--great for special messages to the kids from grandma and grandpa about their latest pictures.

I also like that you can set up profiles of your kids with a current picture and a blurb telling what they are up to right now, what their favorite things currently are, and even add a wish list of things they'd like for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. How wonderful would that be for those family and friends who live far away and aren't able to keep up what your kids are busy with these days.

Aside from email, Kinzin even integrates with Facebook, making updates to your Facebook page suddenly have more pizazz.

Probably one of the best surprises about this site is that you can enter physical mailing addresses so that your latest photos can be mailed out to family members who might not be as computer savvy for a small fee. My father-in-law was recently moved to a nursing home. I'm so glad my mother-in-law can get copies of the photos we've sent and take them by for him to enjoy as well! I had the photos sent to myself as well, and they arrived quickly and the prints look great. No excuses for me to not keep up with my scrapbooking now.

Each month, the Kinzin site looks at which are the 10 most recent photos and will automatically email and snail mail those photos to your distribution list. No one in your family will be able to complain about you not keeping them up-to-date again!

Be sure to check out more reviews of the Kinzin site and other great product reviews at the Parent Bloggers Network.

A gathering of sorts...

I have so many posts floating in my head right now. There are many things I have wanted to write about, but things I don’t really feel that I can or I have not found the right words for just yet. The short of this is that I am struggling through some life choices—that I don’t feel I can share on this forum right now.

When I look at this past year, there have been so many challenging things that I have chosen to not blog about, and probably should have. Instead, I pulled back and made my blog more light and fluffy and in turn probably lost a little of my own voice on what is supposed to be an outlet and window into my true being. What do I get out of writing my personal thoughts online? Well, while I like to hear what my readers have to say, it is mostly because after I write it, I tend to find myself reflecting upon it and understanding myself a little more.

Life has turned into this heavy/hard thing for me lately, and all I know to do is focus on changing that, and attempt to find joy and get to that place where I feel like I am comfortable where I am all while being true to myself. Because I am not in that place right now and it is showing to all who are close to me. Something is just not right...

So, while I am not prepared to open up just yet with all my problems, I am willing to share how I’m going to try to bring things back into focus. That would be by way of the two Ts, as a good friend put it: Therapy and Training.

I emailed my trainer yesterday and told her I was ready to come back. Working out consistently again on my own has gotten me to a certain level, but my weight continues to be at a regretful place that is not helping me get off of these diabetes medications. And, I’ll admit completely, my 20-year class reunion in mid-June has me scrambling a bit as well. I know, I know... I can't lose a massive amount of weight by then, but I can work hard and feel good about that before I go and shake hands with old friends from a day when I was teased about being so skinny.

And the therapy…we’ll I have done it before. At one point in my life, it brought clarity to both my relationship with my mother and sister and helped to heal my marriage. A few other times I have felt it did nothing but cause me to dredge up emotions that I didn't know how to heal. Problems that continue to resurface to this day even.

This time, I have many areas to work through and until I can voice things and think them through, I feel like I will stay in this state of self-confusion. Stuck in this place where I struggle most days to find myself and understand what path to take next.

It’s time to gather myself up and right myself again...

AI Haiku - the top 5 and a slip

So, I haven't come up with any haikus in tribute to American Idol the past few weeks--mostly because I was still numb from Michael Johns' departure, followed soon after by Karly Smithson. But, how could I NOT have one for tonight? (For those following, I say David Cook was by far the best tonight. And Archeleta is really starting to bore me completely.) Here's my contribution-o-the-week:

Oh Paula, Paula
Do you know what day it is?
Put the pills down, girl.

Hypocrisy, coming from the Queen of Maternal Guilt

This article has me rethinking what it means to be a good mother. Perhaps I've been wrong to lay all that maternal guilt on myself every time I see a problem or my child suffers in anyway.

What do you think?