Gift-tastrophies Remembered
We've all had some bad Christmas gifts over the years, haven't we? Some well intentioned family member got something for us and it was just a really big "miss."(OK, sometimes you just KNOW they couldn't have thought a bit before they bought it!) You have to sit there, smile plastered on your face, pretending like you are so happy to get the ugliest potpourri cooker you have ever seen in your entire life. A blogging friend recently wrote about this too, and it got me to thinking about our holiday gift-tastrophies.
I had a Grandmother who I was not that close to who used to send me birthday gifts on my sister's birthday, spelled my sister's NAME wrong on her birthday cards, and always got us things like purses when we were into sports and not girly girls at all. (Today, I'd love a purse, but not when I was 10!) One year as an adult, she sent me a cheap meat thermometer. It was so random and bizarre, like she'd dug it out of her kitchen drawer and sent it on or something!
Well, my family (God love 'em) has brought the words "gift miss" to new meaning for my husband. While I continue to feel embarrassed and sorry when this happens, it has gotten to the point of being humorous too. When I told DaddyCat I was thinking of blogging about this, we had a fun time reminiscing to come up with the list. So, here you go, just in time for Christmas. The absolute biggest gift misses under our Christmas tree over the past 13 years of marriage. Sadly, they all came from MY side of the family!
DaddyCat wants: A fitted baseball cap of one of his favorite teams--preferably the Astros, or then the Houston Oilers, or for our college.
DaddyCat gets: An adjustable cheesy looking ballcap from the local community college near where I grew up. (Well, he almost got this until I laughed so hard when my mother showed it to me that she was insulted and took it back!)
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DaddyCat wants: Plain or sports-themed t-shirts
DaddyCat gets: A plain white t-shirt with a really dumb Far Side comic printed in black-and-white making some lame joke about computer nerds. (My husband is a programmer.)
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DaddyCat wants: Polo-style shirts (Didn't have to be Polo brand)
DaddyCat gets: Knit golf-style shirt with a stretchy waistband. Something you'd see your grandfather wear with black socks and sandals at the beach.
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You get the picture, right? Here's a list of some of his other greatest hits, which were not even CLOSE to what was on his list on those years:
2-3 years straight: All the Die Hard movies on VHS
This was when were starting to only collect DVDs and he'd never said he liked Die Hard even. By the third year, we laughed aloud when he opened it and had to ask why everyone was so fixated on Die Hard and getting him that for Christmas. Should we have taken a hint from the movie title? They all acted puzzled at our reaction.
Next year: Die Harder on DVD
Seriously! After laughing aloud, he got it AGAIN, this time on DVD. At least they got the right format this time.
Another Pre-viewed DVD
Yes, my sister could not even spring for a NEW movie...and then she tried to cover it by saying they just had to watch it before they gave it to him. Please! And, how rude is that anyway, even if it were true?
4 Tickets to an Astros Game
This was to be for his birthday, from my sister, the promiser of great things but deliverer of nada. I wish I could say this didn't happen often with her, but we rarely believe her big promises anymore.
A $4 Rubber Mallet
DaddyCat had asked for tools this Christmas and gave a nice detailed and lengthy list of various tools, carefully trying to pick ones in various price ranges. He was hoping for maybe one nicer tool and thought that by putting this cheapie on there, it might pad someone's gift up to what they wanted to spend. Instead, this is all he got. The same year, the purchaser of the mallet had requested a new truck bed liner for his Ford and a $200 gun. And, he got them. I almost took OUR mallet to HIS pricey gifts, let me tell you!
A Strange-Looking Orange Ogre-like Children's Hand Puppet
We have no idea why he got this, and wonder if maybe my Aunt and Uncle just forgot to get him something that year. They said they thought he'd love to have it to entertain our son. It was all quite bizarre. The puppet isn't even cute either...it's really ugly.
So, there you have it. God only knows what he'll end up with this year! Best wishes to all of you that there are no "misses" under your tree!
I had a Grandmother who I was not that close to who used to send me birthday gifts on my sister's birthday, spelled my sister's NAME wrong on her birthday cards, and always got us things like purses when we were into sports and not girly girls at all. (Today, I'd love a purse, but not when I was 10!) One year as an adult, she sent me a cheap meat thermometer. It was so random and bizarre, like she'd dug it out of her kitchen drawer and sent it on or something!
Well, my family (God love 'em) has brought the words "gift miss" to new meaning for my husband. While I continue to feel embarrassed and sorry when this happens, it has gotten to the point of being humorous too. When I told DaddyCat I was thinking of blogging about this, we had a fun time reminiscing to come up with the list. So, here you go, just in time for Christmas. The absolute biggest gift misses under our Christmas tree over the past 13 years of marriage. Sadly, they all came from MY side of the family!
DaddyCat wants: A fitted baseball cap of one of his favorite teams--preferably the Astros, or then the Houston Oilers, or for our college.
DaddyCat gets: An adjustable cheesy looking ballcap from the local community college near where I grew up. (Well, he almost got this until I laughed so hard when my mother showed it to me that she was insulted and took it back!)
--------------
DaddyCat wants: Plain or sports-themed t-shirts
DaddyCat gets: A plain white t-shirt with a really dumb Far Side comic printed in black-and-white making some lame joke about computer nerds. (My husband is a programmer.)
-------------
DaddyCat wants: Polo-style shirts (Didn't have to be Polo brand)
DaddyCat gets: Knit golf-style shirt with a stretchy waistband. Something you'd see your grandfather wear with black socks and sandals at the beach.
-------------
You get the picture, right? Here's a list of some of his other greatest hits, which were not even CLOSE to what was on his list on those years:
2-3 years straight: All the Die Hard movies on VHS
This was when were starting to only collect DVDs and he'd never said he liked Die Hard even. By the third year, we laughed aloud when he opened it and had to ask why everyone was so fixated on Die Hard and getting him that for Christmas. Should we have taken a hint from the movie title? They all acted puzzled at our reaction.
Next year: Die Harder on DVD
Seriously! After laughing aloud, he got it AGAIN, this time on DVD. At least they got the right format this time.
Another Pre-viewed DVD
Yes, my sister could not even spring for a NEW movie...and then she tried to cover it by saying they just had to watch it before they gave it to him. Please! And, how rude is that anyway, even if it were true?
4 Tickets to an Astros Game
This was to be for his birthday, from my sister, the promiser of great things but deliverer of nada. I wish I could say this didn't happen often with her, but we rarely believe her big promises anymore.
A $4 Rubber Mallet
DaddyCat had asked for tools this Christmas and gave a nice detailed and lengthy list of various tools, carefully trying to pick ones in various price ranges. He was hoping for maybe one nicer tool and thought that by putting this cheapie on there, it might pad someone's gift up to what they wanted to spend. Instead, this is all he got. The same year, the purchaser of the mallet had requested a new truck bed liner for his Ford and a $200 gun. And, he got them. I almost took OUR mallet to HIS pricey gifts, let me tell you!
A Strange-Looking Orange Ogre-like Children's Hand Puppet
We have no idea why he got this, and wonder if maybe my Aunt and Uncle just forgot to get him something that year. They said they thought he'd love to have it to entertain our son. It was all quite bizarre. The puppet isn't even cute either...it's really ugly.
So, there you have it. God only knows what he'll end up with this year! Best wishes to all of you that there are no "misses" under your tree!
posted by Crazy MomCat @ 4:18 PM
15 Comments:
Hahahaha!! These were great.
I used to get the worst presents from the same family member (and this was using the Kris-Kringle pick a person out of a hat thing...this person would get me every year).
Year One: A sculpture she made of a dog that was hideous.
Year Two: Gigantic earrings made from some fake black "jewels". The worst things you've ever seen.
Year Three: Red patent leather Doc Martens. I can appreciate Docs, but red patent leather ones? Who buys those for someone??
Here by way of michele...nice to "meet" you!
LOL we've had some doozies too!
here via michele!
HA! Suddenly this list of misses makes me feel better about the bombs we've recieved over the years. Shall we discuss the lame iron lawn ornament that features stick figures and dangling house numbers? Yup, we pull names with the other side of our family. Each adult gets one of the sibs or sib-inlaws to buy for. The two that had my husband and I went in together for the iron stake. Which frankly is better than the years our gifts show up in August.
Michele sent me tonight. Sorry for the blog hijacking. Apparently I needed to vent. ;)
My great-aunt got me and my sister confused somehow.
My sister got a really cheap plastic wallet...and I got a nice training bra!
Here via Michele.
Oh my do I understand that...my family also being the ones guilty of horrible gifting-esp with Mr. Mooshoo. Now we discuss inexpensive things ahead of time and when my family asks what he wants I tell them what and where to get it...
OMG this is TOO funny. It's almost enough to convince me to call the whole gift thing off for everyone.
I'll be randomly laughing at odd hours for at least the next two days - all thanks to you. This is wonderfully classic!
I am dying over here. Your list of missed gifts was the best. I am thankful my family has wonderful taste, and buys fabulous gifts. And even more thanful after reading your list.
visiting from michele's
I once got a disgusting sweat shirt with some
"applique" that had been glued on, and it was not a style I'd be comfortable wearing because it was so nerdy looking.
Michele sent me.
I have an idea! Have him start asking for a gift card to his favorite store!
My Step MIL gave me a jacket in a size 10. I wear a 4 to a 6. The woman had never even met me to know my size or taste. And, the jacket was used. My hubs and I ended up laughing our heads off over it.
Oh, you are all making me FEEL so much better with your equally pathetic gifts. Keep 'em coming! I'll have to make sure my husband reads all the comments in here before we open our presents this year. Joe, at least we can say he hasn't gotten a training bra yet. LOL!
And, Theresa, the gift card is a great idea. Unfortunately, my mother has already rejected that idea. "Gift cards are so impersonal. I like to pick what I get you so I can see the look on your face of surprise as you open it." (sigh)
Oh! Those are great!! Your poor husband. If my mom didn't read my blog, I'd post about 3,000 words on her awful gift-giving skills.
Vanessa, I just have to hope that my parents never do. They're not very techie, with my luck they'll somehow figure it all out and stumble across this. Yikes!
Hilarious! That puts my Dad's Jean Nate to shame! The puppet! The rubber mallet! The previously viewed movie! I laughed out loud!
Great post, Steph!
Die Hard?? Seriously?? For FOUR YEARS??? Bless your poor souls, LOL!!!
I think the most bizarre gift I've received thusfar was last year from my boyfriend's mom. She bought me a travel curling iron cover. I have very straight hair. That I do not curl. And I think I have a curling iron somewhere, but not sure where... it was so odd! Not sure what prompted that one.
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