Thursday, August 11, 2005

Be wary of the second day....

Dear mothers of kindergarteners,

I feel compelled to write to you today, especially to those of you whose children have not gone to school yet. (Irene, this means you--ha!) I feel it is necessary to warn you of something ahead of time.

You see...your child may go off to the Big K and have a fantastic first day, as mine did. Everything might go like clockwork that morning with the new wake time, getting everything ready and in the backpack for school, and making it to the bus on-time that first day. Your child may not even get teary getting on the bus, instead beaming a big smile back at you. He/she may come home exhausted but very happy and talking about riding the bus the next day.

You might even go to sleep after that first night, breathing such a sigh of relief having this day behind you. Your weeks and weeks of anxiety may disappear that evening. That big weight may be lifted off your shoulders as you feel like the worst is behind you--you have made it through the first day. You might tell yourself, the rest is puddin' from here on out.

Well, mothers, YOU WOULD BE WRONG. I would like to warn you of letting down your guard because day two might just be a real bitch for you, as mine was for me. So, prepare yourself now.
It might start off with you deciding to turn off that early alarm, convincing yourself you can get ready when your son does without running late. WRONG.

Your son might wake up a real ogre, even though he got plenty of sleep the night before. He might say awful things and make you yell, when you swore you'd never yell threats about getting ready each morning the way your Mom did to your sister all those years. You might have to bribe and threaten him with each spoonful of his Frosted Flakes just to get him to finish up and get ON THE DAMN SHOES already.

You might rush down to the bus stop, feeling like you're late and sit there in the heat for 30 more minutes. You might watch your son try to play with the boy he used to play with, who happens to now be in the 1st grade and want nothing to do with baby kindergarteners. You might watch sadly as your son's ego gets deflated at backs being turned to him and rejection from kids he used to play with all the time. Kids that he is physically bigger than and almost as old as, but because he didn't go into kindergarten until 6, he is no longer a part of their group.

You might try to chit-chat and have every joke, every observation, every remark fall flat and be returned with your neighbors puzzled looks. You might watch your son get on the bus, look for a friend to sit with, and then look down for a second as he figures out he's sitting alone. It might just break your heart a little, even though you know he just needs time to get to know more kids.

Then, you could possibly go home and have your daughter fall asleep on you at 9 a.m., three hours before naptime, then causing you to fall asleep for about 20 minutes, making you have to really rush to your haircut.

But, the worst would be if you then had the experience I did in the afternoon. First, you might show up at the dr's office 10 minutes early, which is good because he always runs behind. (I see this doctor for my enlarged thyroid, but also to monitor my blood sugar for my pre-diabetes condition brought on during both my pregnancies.)

You might open the barely-cracked door into the doctors office from the parking lot to find the entire nursing/administrative staff sitting in the chairs watching a soap opera on their lunch break. You could, think to yourself, no big deal...I'll just sit here and let my daughter finish her nap in her stroller.

You might also have the following pisser of a conversation:

"UH, MA'AM. We're not open yet. That door should have been locked."
"Oh, sorry, it wasn't." (looks at watch and sees it is just 9 minutes to 1 p.m.)
"Yes, I know that. We're not open yet." (all nurses look to the door for me
to leave, then one locks the door once I'm outside)

You then might have to go outside and stand in a hot parking lot for 9 minutes with your child sleeping in the stroller, watching her hair become saturated with sweat, only to then have to sign in BEHIND a woman who had just shown up but happen to check the door and find it unlocked again.

But, my friends, the absolute worst thing I could wish for you on this bitch of a second day of kindergarten...well that would be bad news from your doctor. You might find out that your blood glucose levels from your blood test are really high and that all the sudden you are having high cholesterol when you've never had that in your entire life and have no family history of it. You might be told by your doctor that diabetes is almost inevitable and break into tears right there in his office. He might tell you that dropping significant weight, even though your not hugely obese, might help...but for the first time he might also tell you that it may not even help at all at this point. He might confide in you his own frustration at watching this happen like in a textbook with you, and not being able to stop it. You might find that you have to go do another damn 2 hours glucose tolerance test and find a way for your husband, who has already missed two days of work that week from illness, to watch your daughter while you go sit in an ugly office and drink syrup water and have your blood drawn like a gazillion times.

No, my mom friends, I wouldn't wish that second day of kindergarten on any of you...

Crazy MomCat


Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Good Lord. I am so very sorry. That SUCKS, all of it. I'm going to be sending positive thoughts and prayers your way, 'kay?

9:06 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Crazy MomCat said...

Thanks, Lucinda! Here's to a better day tomorrow, eh? (grin)

9:46 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Lisabell said...

I am sooo sorry, Steph. Why does everything crappy happen at once?? I'm glad R had a great first day of K, and I'm sure he'll have many more -- kids are kinda manic like that :) In fact, my nephew starts K next week and I need to check on my sis and see how she's handling it...

As far as your health, try not to get too discouraged. This sounds beyond your control -- sometimes our bodies just do stuff and it's not our fault. Heredity is a bitch, believe me, I know. You are in my thoughts and I'm sending major good vibes your way. Hang in there...

10:55 PM, August 11, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I am so sorry about the diabetes. I had gestational d and I have been worried ever since about getting Type 2. I, too, need to lose weight -- I'm not insanely obese, but I need to lose 35 lbs. I know intellectually that it is crucial, and may make the difference, but for some reason I can't move forward.

I remember when I was diagnosed with GD that I really did mourn for a few days. When I think about having full blown Type 2, the feeling is much worse. It's really tough to accept having a disease that will affect you the rest of your life. I hope you don't mind me saying all this; I'm fairly confident I'll be where you are in the next two years ... weight-loss or no. I just have that feeling.

Good luck to you.


11:22 PM, August 11, 2005  
Anonymous irene said...

sending you an email.

11:53 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Babs said...

Man, I want to kick those nurses asses!!! I hope that writing about all this helped... you really described it so well. And little R is so awesome. He'll probably make friends that you'd never expected would be right for him... :)

1:09 PM, August 12, 2005  
Blogger christina said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:21 PM, August 12, 2005  
Blogger christina said...

(I somehow managed to mess up my last post & delet it..) here's the gist of what I was trying to say:

Oh what a heartbreaking, trying day. I am so sorry! The kindergarten thing--it scares the shit out of me...(my baby is only 6mos) but I know, because I taught 2nd & 3rd graders for several years, that your sweet kid will find other kids to be friens with... it might take a week or two, or a month, but things will settle down. Kids come to school anxious. Every one of them--even the "cool" kids who are already a part of a play circle... And then, as routines are set at school, new friendships grow. Even in kindergarten. ESPECIALLY in kindergarten, where the teachers are so mindful of social curriculum...Hope that's a comfort.

And as to the GD thing, I'm so sorry! You must be so upset. But do know, that even with diabetes you can live a really healthy life and experience minimal, if any side effects. My husband has type 1 and has for years... and aside from having grown terribly used to testing a lot and taking insulin, he's really healthy and fine...Oh gosh,all I really want to do is send a big hug your way and let you know that things will get better! Hang in there.

7:23 PM, August 12, 2005  
Anonymous Andrew said...

I'm with Babs--I can't believe how insensitive those nurses were. I know people who have been able to control or eliminate their diabetes symptoms with diet and exercise. Keep us posted.

6:30 PM, August 13, 2005  
Anonymous kj said...

HA! Wait until you get a first year TEACHER. Then YOU won't ever want to go back. Gage's 2nd grade teacher was a newbie - sent home notes every other day that he talked too much. Because I volunteered at the school, I found out she sent notes home with EVERY PARENT. I wanted to kill her, here I thought I had a skitzo kid (he's pretty quiet at home) but it turns out she just wasn't used to having 25 seven years olds in the same room for a whole day.

He'll start to love it soon, promise!

7:44 PM, August 13, 2005  
Blogger Crazy MomCat said...

The good news is, my son's already loving school. He actually never complained about the bus either, it was just the look on his face that made me so sad!

Thanks to everyone for the supportive words on this difficult day. I can't tell you how much it lifted my spirits!

8:32 AM, August 14, 2005  

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