Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Return of Faucet Boy

So, we are now officially 1 week and counting until my son, "wildcat," starts "The Big K." I was anxious enough, really, about this. Sometimes I think the big man up there has a darn good sense of humor.

When thinking about wildcat's next year, I thought there was only one person I really hoped he wouldn't have in his class. If you've read this blog for awhile, you know of "Faucet Boy." Yes, I thought that would be the worst--if the two of them were in the same room. But, what are the odds? I mean, he lives across the street. There are 10 sections of kindergarten in our school. The odds of having anyone he knows in his class are small, very small.

So, we get the card in the mail. And, wildcat ironically got the only teacher for kindergarten that I had heard anything about in the past. I actually had heard good things about the teacher from Faucet Boy's mom, who raved about her when her other child was in the lady's class. So, I breathed a sigh of relief because I was sure F.B. wouldn't get that class if his sibling had he before. What are the odds really?

Sometimes the odds might SEEM in your favor, when in reality they are not. Yes, you already knew what was coming here--we got F.B. in our class. And, after initial shock and frustration, I've been trying to be real optimistic about it. I mean, I like his family and his mom and I have chatted about the boys' differences and have vowed to stay out of it and not let things affect our friendship. But, I'm facing my son's first experience with school being a nightmare with a big bully, and souring him on the whole school thing altogether. And, we just saw F.B. the other day and I can tell his attitude toward my son is not changing. He's stuck on cold and there is no hope of him warming up right now or maybe ever. We need a plumber or something people!

I'm trying to look at this positively, because I don't know what else to do. My son attempted to be friendly to F.B. at my request, so they could start over. F.B. made a face at him and ran away. When I told "wildcat" that I was sorry that happened and that F.B. may just be that way to him this year, he sighed. Then, I decided to just let it go. I told him, "You know what? If you don't want to be friends with him, it is OK with me. I don't want you to feel like you have to. Just ignore him if he's ugly and don't let it get to you. The best way to get him to stop is just to ignore him."

And little wildcat looked so relieved when I said that. I knew that he was trying for me. And, while I am not going to condone an all out war with this other child, I'm not also going to make my son try to continually befriend someone who is ugly to him. I only ask that he treat others as he'd want to be treated, but I have also told him if he needs to defend himself, to do so. I won't allow him to be the "picked on" kid either.

So, now I have to hope there's another oddity that happens. And that is that another of his friends is in his class, or he instantly makes one and avoids F.B. altogether. The bad thing is, they will be riding the bus together. That is a bully incident waiting to happen. But, I am going to have to trust that in the end, my wildcat will stand his ground and work it out for himself, or will come to me if he needs me.

I guess this is what having your kids grow up is all about. Having to let go of control and let them take the wheel little by little until they can drive on their own. But, why does it have to be so darn hard?


Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I'd love to console you on this, but you're right, it basically sucks. Just remember that faucet boy is what, five years old? And you will be able to outwit him.
Besides, it sounds like he has behavioral issues to be acting this way and if that's the case, he's going to piss off/alienate other boys in his class... maybe not the first day, but it's bound to happen.
I think your son will be able to handle it. And if things go seriously awry, step in. Schedule a conference with his mom and the teacher and put a stop to his bullying once and for all.
Good luck!

10:40 PM, August 03, 2005  

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