Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The sleeping position solution

My thoughts tonight are on sleep. More specifically, on "sleeping positions." That is, whether you are a front, side or back sleeper or something in-between. The position you sleep in must surely say something about your personality, although what that might be I haven't a clue. I'm sure there's some internet test out there about your "sleeping style" that predicts your future success, love life, yadda, yadda--all based on whether you straddle the pillow or smother it with your chest.

Me, I'm a stomach sleeper by nature. So is my husband. But, this has proven problematic over the years. Take, for example, when I was pregnant. After so many months, it becomes physically impossible to be a stomach sleeper anymore--unless you don't mind rocking like a see-saw as you teeter yourself to sleep on your round mound of a belly.

During those uncomfortable months, I tried desperately to become what all the baby books tell you is best for your baby--the side sleeper. Experts tout that if you sleep on a certain side the baby gets more oxygen and thrives. I didn't focus on a certain side, I just tried really hard to keep myself off my stomach. This didn't work very well, quite frankly, and I slept very little in my later months of pregnancy.

But, I've had other issues with the stomach sleeping. I have blogged on here before about my, well...
blessed chest. (In fact, I think maybe I'm boob-fixated, when I think of this entry and this one too!) To cut to the chase, stomach sleeping is a bitch when you have boobage. How do you find comfort when you must either squish them flat or out to either side? And, isn't that really pretty unhealthy to do for that many hours a night?

My solution thus far has been strategic placement of a nice squishy pillow. Mind you, this is not an easy task, my friends. The pillow corner must be placed just so, to give the added support between the cleavage for maximum comfort and balance. Too much or too little pillow there and you might as well lie on your back already.

So, I think I have decided the way I will make my million. I am going to design a pillow for well-endowed women who like to sleep chest to the springs. Because, it isn't fair that if you're blessed THERE, that you can't sleep the way you want, is it? I foresee a nice fluffy pillow in perhaps a "T" shape, thus allowing each mammary to reside in comfort as you slumber. I think I'm on to something here...

But, if not, maybe someday I will succeed in converting to a side-sleeper. But, is it just me, or do you all wish you could have a handy hook to hang your underside arm on when you go to bed on the side? Wouldn't that be nice? You'd just detach the arm, hook it right above your head, and lie down unafraid of waking up and having a panic attack that you are paralyzed only to find that damn underside arm just fell asleep again from the weight of your body on it? Hmm...maybe I should market this with the "big-boob sleeper?"

And, while I am at it, let me raise a totally different question about sleeping positions. What age is it absolutely ridiculous to still be holding your child until they go to sleep? Because, we are STILL doing that with my almost 16-month-old and it is getting FREAKING OLD! I don't remember doing this as long with my son, but my husband swears we did. How do you move from putting them to sleep that way to the laying them down in bed, kissing them goodnight, and walking away? My daughter screams hysterically unless she's held until she goes to sleep. And, something tells me a custom-cupping pillow or an arm hook on her wall is NOT going to fix this problem for us either...


Blogger Lisabell said...

Deep thoughts, my friend. I myself am a side sleeper. Either side, which is kind of odd considering that when I used to share my bed, I was more of a right-side sleeper; but since I've had it all to myself for many years now, I have learned to use every inch of it, sprawling in the middle and rolling to either sude during the night. What makes me change sides during slumber, you ask? Upon reflection, I realize I shift when one of my underside arms or shoulders falls asleep. I've somehow trained myself to roll over when this happens, so I'm theoretically damaging the same number of nerves on each side every night. Balance is EVERYTHING. I could use one of those hooks...

10:49 PM, July 27, 2005  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

So nice to hear you're dealing with putting Miss Kitty to bed, too. The books say that by this age, we're supposed to be giving them baths, giving them a snack, reading them a quiet bedtime story and leaving the room as they lull themselves to sleep on their own. YEAH RIGHT!
I don't know anyone who's doing this. I hold Baby until she falls asleep every single night. I lie her across my chest on the sofa. I stand and rock her from side to side. I give her to Hubs to hold her on her stomach across his arm. I oh-so-gently put her into her crib after she's been asleep for a few minutes. And often, I pick her back up when she starts screaming the moment I let go of her.
I think the sleep thing comes with age. I've tried everything and what works best for me is letting her go to sleep when she's tired, not when it's strictly her "bed time". Also, rather than calming her down, she is zonked if we play hard with her about an hour and a half before bed.
Suffice it to say that you're not alone!

8:38 AM, July 28, 2005  
Blogger Babs said...

I'm so totally a stomach sleeper... it's just about the only way that I can fall to sleep. SO, for years, I've been convinced that being a stomach sleeper totally inhibited my chest size. Guess you proved that theory wrong! I can't imagine having to do the strategic pillow placement trick! Wonder if those fancy shmancy foam mattresses would help you?

3:39 PM, July 28, 2005  

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