If you're "with it," say AMEN!
This has been an interesting week. My son did a VBS program at a good friend of ours' church. And it was a big culture shock to me, compared to our church's VBS program. Ours was VERY disorganized. It was so bad, that I was actually uncomfortable leaving him there the first day because I felt like they'd pretty much let the teenagers run the classes. And our appointed teen was a very unenthusiastic and sullen. She didn't say more than 4 words to me the entire week--even when I SPOKE to her.
This VBS was very well organized and well run. It was a western theme, and my son had a ball. It helped that on the first day the kids got to pet and get their pictures taken with a real horse. It also helped that his best little pal was in the same section as he was.
But, my biggest observation about this church was made on the first day we walked in. It was then that I labeled it the Church of the "With-It" Moms. But, let me explain...
As I walked in the door to take him to his section, I bumped into 2-3 of my neighbors. These are ladies I don't know extremely well, but who speak to me and are friendly. I've hoped to get to know them better, but just haven't. They are the "with-it" moms on my street. You know the type, they never have a hair out of place, manage to stay up with the latest in fashion trends (but never take that too far and dress in anything that years later they will be embarrassed about), have their kids involved all over the place and never seem to be frazzled, frustrated or overwhelmed. In short, they all kind of look like a walking Talbot's advertisement. Even when they joke about being stressed, they seem so poised.
They are also the social circuit of our section of streets and conglomerate with the other moms at the bus stop each morning during the school year. I am the mom with younger kids who waves as I drive mine to preschool. Next year, I will be "among them" and I have wondered if I will be accepted.
You see, I'm not a member of the Church of the "With-It" Moms. No, I was very happy to visit, but I am not sure I'd belong there. Case in point, today was the last day of VBS and we came early to watch the music program that ends the week. I get there, pulling up at the same time as my close friend whose daughters were also going and who invited us to come. (Not so coincidentally, she is ALSO a "with-it" mom and I SO wonder why she puts up with me at times!)
So, I show up and it's starting to sprinkle outside. I decide to leave most everything in the car and just carry my daughter in because she'd fallen asleep. Once we got inside, it was a mad-house. They were trying to get 300 kids to form some semblance of a grouping at the front of the church to sing, all the while parents were filing in to watch their kids. Of course, my daughter then woke up fully. As we sat mid-pew waiting for them to get started, my daughter was all over the place, climbing, screaming, squealing and doing the full tantrum throw-back when I wasn't letting her climb on the people next to me. And, brainiac that I am, I had NOTHING with me to entertain her. In thinking she'd sleep I failed to realize that if she did wake up, the only thing I'd have to entertain her was a set of keys and my digital camera--a VERY "non-with-it" move.
But, wait, where WERE my keys? As my "with-it" friend pulled out random combs and things from her purse to entertain my daughter, I realized that my keys were left in a pew across the church where we'd first sat down. I know my friend had to have been wondering how in the world I could show up to something like that with nothing to entertain my wee one. She is the type that always has gum, a band aid, sunscreen, anything you need in most kid situations. I frequently find myself borrowing things from her and then cursing myself in my head for being such a lug-head later on.
Well, we made it through the program, and I actually lost track of the fact I was not "with it" for a short time, mesmerized by my son who was beaming the biggest smile at me while he did the hand motions for the songs. He never sings, but I could care less when I see his big smile. It was a sign of beauty and stole my heart away.
The day continued on much the same way. We made our way to a pizza buffet afterwards. With-it friend offered to take my son with her in the rain to the door. Her girls were fully decked out in rain gear. I managed to find an old semi-functioning umbrella buried in the black hole that is my SUV console. Juggling that and my toddler and big backpack, I sloshed in to find us a seat. I picked up a high chair for my daughter that was covered in some sort of unrecognizable but concerning slime. Along the way, with-it friend was always there to help--offering to carry a bag, help my son get his pizza, watch my daughter while I get pizza, etc. In short, she was and is a Godsend of a friend, and I am so thankful for her.
But, I do wonder what makes someone with-it and someone else not? And, is this something I can achieve in my life at all, or is it just genetically impossible? My Mom was not "with-it." She didn't even wear make-up and her house was never clean and organized. She didn't host brunches or organize playdates or any of those things that come natural to the "with it" mom. (She was/is a great Mom, nonetheless, but she does not fall into this category of person.)
So, I wonder, if I joined that church, could I learn to become "with-it?" Like, perhaps if you do so many Sunday school classes, it just comes to you. Or maybe they hold secret closed-door "with-it" training sessions to make sure all their members fit the bill. Or, do they turn you away if you are NOT with-it, telling you to find somewhere else to worship?
We are going to the Church of the "With-It" Moms this weekend to see my son sing his VBS program again. And, I've promised myself to keep my eyes focused on his beaming smile and not think about how my lack of togetherness comes across to others. With-it or not, I'm there as a Mom first.
This VBS was very well organized and well run. It was a western theme, and my son had a ball. It helped that on the first day the kids got to pet and get their pictures taken with a real horse. It also helped that his best little pal was in the same section as he was.
But, my biggest observation about this church was made on the first day we walked in. It was then that I labeled it the Church of the "With-It" Moms. But, let me explain...
As I walked in the door to take him to his section, I bumped into 2-3 of my neighbors. These are ladies I don't know extremely well, but who speak to me and are friendly. I've hoped to get to know them better, but just haven't. They are the "with-it" moms on my street. You know the type, they never have a hair out of place, manage to stay up with the latest in fashion trends (but never take that too far and dress in anything that years later they will be embarrassed about), have their kids involved all over the place and never seem to be frazzled, frustrated or overwhelmed. In short, they all kind of look like a walking Talbot's advertisement. Even when they joke about being stressed, they seem so poised.
They are also the social circuit of our section of streets and conglomerate with the other moms at the bus stop each morning during the school year. I am the mom with younger kids who waves as I drive mine to preschool. Next year, I will be "among them" and I have wondered if I will be accepted.
You see, I'm not a member of the Church of the "With-It" Moms. No, I was very happy to visit, but I am not sure I'd belong there. Case in point, today was the last day of VBS and we came early to watch the music program that ends the week. I get there, pulling up at the same time as my close friend whose daughters were also going and who invited us to come. (Not so coincidentally, she is ALSO a "with-it" mom and I SO wonder why she puts up with me at times!)
So, I show up and it's starting to sprinkle outside. I decide to leave most everything in the car and just carry my daughter in because she'd fallen asleep. Once we got inside, it was a mad-house. They were trying to get 300 kids to form some semblance of a grouping at the front of the church to sing, all the while parents were filing in to watch their kids. Of course, my daughter then woke up fully. As we sat mid-pew waiting for them to get started, my daughter was all over the place, climbing, screaming, squealing and doing the full tantrum throw-back when I wasn't letting her climb on the people next to me. And, brainiac that I am, I had NOTHING with me to entertain her. In thinking she'd sleep I failed to realize that if she did wake up, the only thing I'd have to entertain her was a set of keys and my digital camera--a VERY "non-with-it" move.
But, wait, where WERE my keys? As my "with-it" friend pulled out random combs and things from her purse to entertain my daughter, I realized that my keys were left in a pew across the church where we'd first sat down. I know my friend had to have been wondering how in the world I could show up to something like that with nothing to entertain my wee one. She is the type that always has gum, a band aid, sunscreen, anything you need in most kid situations. I frequently find myself borrowing things from her and then cursing myself in my head for being such a lug-head later on.
Well, we made it through the program, and I actually lost track of the fact I was not "with it" for a short time, mesmerized by my son who was beaming the biggest smile at me while he did the hand motions for the songs. He never sings, but I could care less when I see his big smile. It was a sign of beauty and stole my heart away.
The day continued on much the same way. We made our way to a pizza buffet afterwards. With-it friend offered to take my son with her in the rain to the door. Her girls were fully decked out in rain gear. I managed to find an old semi-functioning umbrella buried in the black hole that is my SUV console. Juggling that and my toddler and big backpack, I sloshed in to find us a seat. I picked up a high chair for my daughter that was covered in some sort of unrecognizable but concerning slime. Along the way, with-it friend was always there to help--offering to carry a bag, help my son get his pizza, watch my daughter while I get pizza, etc. In short, she was and is a Godsend of a friend, and I am so thankful for her.
But, I do wonder what makes someone with-it and someone else not? And, is this something I can achieve in my life at all, or is it just genetically impossible? My Mom was not "with-it." She didn't even wear make-up and her house was never clean and organized. She didn't host brunches or organize playdates or any of those things that come natural to the "with it" mom. (She was/is a great Mom, nonetheless, but she does not fall into this category of person.)
So, I wonder, if I joined that church, could I learn to become "with-it?" Like, perhaps if you do so many Sunday school classes, it just comes to you. Or maybe they hold secret closed-door "with-it" training sessions to make sure all their members fit the bill. Or, do they turn you away if you are NOT with-it, telling you to find somewhere else to worship?
We are going to the Church of the "With-It" Moms this weekend to see my son sing his VBS program again. And, I've promised myself to keep my eyes focused on his beaming smile and not think about how my lack of togetherness comes across to others. With-it or not, I'm there as a Mom first.
posted by Crazy MomCat @ 2:47 PM
2 Comments:
I sooo identify with you, especially when it comes to not having exactly what you need on hand for your kids! I am constantly forgetting changing pads, diapers, wipes, toys, umbrellas, jackets, etc., etc. everywhere I go-- and I've had more than my share of embarrassing moments from it.
I don't feel at all like a with-it mom-- but I realize that to other moms, I -do- seem "with it". So I think that the truth is that these other moms feel just like you do- Only some go to greater lengths to cover it up.
This ties in with something I'm noticing more and more as I get to know the parents of my daughters' friends... The ones who try hardest to seem to have it together are often the ones that are falling apart at the seams once you get to know their kids (who will ALWAYS tell you the truth of the matter)!
I think most moms are so concerned with how they look to other moms that they don't even notice the other moms' shortcomings- EVER.
So be secure in the knowledge that you're the with-it mom to some other poor woman schlepping her way through the day with her kids!
That is SO true about the Moms that seem so together are the ones who are the most instable a lot of times. My neighbor is like that. She's the mother of 4 kids, 3 of which are triplets. She is always saying, "Oh, I'd have more kids if my husband would go for it" and talking about how wonderful and perfect her kids are. One day, I went by her house to take her something and I heard this horrible screaming from several feet away from the door. As I got to the door and rang the doorbell, I heard her screaming at the top of her lungs at her kids threatening them practically with their lives. If I hadn't rang the doorbell, I'd have turned and left, but it was too late. She came to the door and spoke to me in the most calm and pleasant voice, but also carefully asked if I'd been there long because her doorbell doesn't always work. It was hilarious and sad all at the same time.
Thanks for commiserating! It's so nice to know someone relates!
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