Saturday Smorgasbord

Just some thoughts that crossed my mind today. I may add more later, if I feel the urge...

• Why does the new Burger King mascot/guy terrify the crap out of me? I'm home without the hubby this weekend and tonight I just know I'm going to be fearful of opening a closet door and finding him standing there...smiling his scary/psycho killer kind of smile at me and handing me a Whopper.
• Why are those darn kids on Laguna Beach just so blasted beautiful? Seriously, do they computer enhance that show? How can it be possible that many attractive teens all live by each other and are friends? Why can't I be that pretty and have that pretty of friends?
• Along the same lines, why is it when L.B. is on, I can't pull myself away from watching it? I have nothing in common with these people. I'm a chunky, middle-aged stay-at-home mom from Texas. Please...
• Why do weeds flock to my front beds? And why do I never see any neighbors pulling theirs, yet their flower beds remain weedless?
• And, why are the flowers that I planted 2 YEARS AGO under the tree on the far side of my house blooming out of freakin' control when I haven't even looked at them for six months? And, as for the beds where I primped and gave proper floral TLC? Well, they are all empty now because they promptly died. F#$%-ing flowers...
• Why is it every time I have a day free where I can do just what I want, I still feel obligated to do things I hate--like washing dishes, mopping, and pulling weeds? All I really want to do is spread out my scrapbooking stuff and crop and watch the Laguna Beach marathon and pretend I'm young, rich, tan, and have zero body fat...