Friday, December 30, 2005

Dancin' with the Devil

"You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
(
Jack Nicholson, Batman)

That's the quote that comes to mind when I think of how I will spend my New Years' Eve. I have blogged often on here about my neighborly nemesis. But, a strange and unexpected thing is going on here. I am trying to let it go. Yes, I know you never thought that would happen, but maybe it is! Perhaps it is the New Year that is upon me, or the resolutions I am trying to make or the tumultuous few months we've had around our house, but something is making me go along with this whole deal. Some of you who have read my blog awhile may think I have gone completely mad, I am sure.

My husband accepted an invitation to attend a party given by the nemesis. We'd been to one a few years ago and enjoyed it. And, suddenly it feels like a love fest is going on with them, and I'm not sure I am totally prepared to "share the love." There were calls about borrowing tables and what we'll bring, etc. It all makes me quite nervous, to be honest. Our husbands really like one another and so do our kids, so I am sure this is some of it. In general, my life would be easier if this problem would go away or at least things would get back to normal for us with our neighbors again.

So, here's the real truth of the matter. I'm more scared to go and have a great time than anything. Why? Because it might mean I was somewhat wrong about this person all along. Well, actually, I don't think I was completely wrong because I personally witnessed her in action too many times. But, I have had some question marks in my head lately brought forward by some actions by another friend who I thought I never needed to question. And, this is making me question everything that lead up to our problems with the nemesis.

Questioning, I suppose is good. So is realizing you may have been wrong. I want to be able to own up to that if that, in fact, is true here. I still stand firm on the fact that I have watched this woman take enjoyment at the perils and bad luck of both my son and myself. She is highly competitive with us for some reason. But, it may be that she did not say and do all the things I was told that she did, or not to the extreme that was reported. Or, it may be that she's decided to make amends and her resolution is to make good with us again.

This past week, I visited my hometown. I loved catching up with my Mom, but it was also a reality check for me about not making snap judgments and refusing to budge from them. My Mom does that quite often, especially about people and their values. Many times she is wrong, but the person is already written off in her mind. She never looks back. And, I think this is really quite sad. While living with an optimistic and open mind may lead you to many disappointments in relationships, isn't it better to think this way than to always assume someone is the worst thing you can imagine? How lonely and closed off would I be if I lived my life this way? While I don't want to be a fool for anyone, I never want to be unforgiving and judgmental. I guess I have my Mom to thank for that lesson.

So, I will go and dance with my "devil." I will see if she's called me in to tango again, or wants to waltz and make amends. I will go with guard up, prepared for the worst but hoping for the best. And, I probably will not give her my full trust for a very long time if ever. But, I will try to get things on a normal keel between our families, for the sake of their friendships. And, maybe, just maybe, I will learn a lesson in all of this about being direct when someone has hurt me. Maybe I will learn and I will grow and change from that. That would be a great way to start off a new year, wouldn't it?

Oh, if I was right at along and she is the devil, well she'd better be ready. 'Cause, sistahs, I can tango with the best of them!

7 Comments:

Blogger Juggling Mother said...

It's a good time for new beginnings, and it never hurts to try again.

I hope you have fun & 2006 is the start of a beautiful friendship....

here from micheles

2:35 PM, December 31, 2005  
Blogger margalit said...

Sometimes, the most miraculous thing happens and people change. You might have held on to the 'old' neighbor nemesis without realising that you have a 'new' neighbor who is reaching out to be your friend. Let the bad feelings go and let yourself open to the possibility of a new friendship with your neighbor.

Michele sent me.

2:43 PM, December 31, 2005  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I think you will probably have a great time- Just don't drink too much! Heh heh. Because then it could become a claw fest.

Anyway, there will be other people there and since she's hosting, you'll probably hardly even get a chance to talk to her...

Good luck and have a great New Year's Eve!

3:31 PM, December 31, 2005  
Blogger Karen said...

Well, maybe you'll have fun - I hope you do!

Happy New Year! Michele sent me....

4:00 PM, December 31, 2005  
Blogger Lazy Daisy said...

Michele sent me....good for you. Maybe it will also be an example to your kids that you "can take the high road" and be a bigger person than she is.

Happy New Year...hope you have an amzing time. Lazy Daisy

4:21 PM, December 31, 2005  
Blogger Dipu said...

Doesn't sound like you made a snap judgment, so I wouldn't worry about that aspect. I don't think you've been unreasonable. If she's changed, that's great. I don't think there's any harm in being open to a new beginning with her while still, just for a while anyway, keeping one eye open for the old neighbor. Just in case. You're right, it's not good to go through life totally closed off to people. But, nothing wrong with keeping an eye open with her while giving her another chance...

4:41 PM, December 31, 2005  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I think you are really a good person and are definitely "taking the high road" with this woman. Be on guard, but let yourself be open to her if she is trying to make it all up to you. I still feel that she owes you a HUGE apology for everything she's done, but maybe she's not big enough to do that.

Here's to new beginnings, hopefully!

5:56 PM, December 31, 2005  

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