Peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys

I think the best way to describe my life right now has to be to say it's been a whirlwind of peaks and valleys, emotionally speaking. And, reading this blog daily, it must be easy to see that as well. The phase my son is going through and the difficulties at home, have brought us to a near stand-still at times as a family. And, then magically, we will have a wonderful day that makes us all feel connected and together again. I have yet to understand why this is going on, but I am striving to get some more balance for us these days, yet I do not know how to achieve it.

For example, after a very long week last week, we had several great nights in a row of family time, including playing games one night and strolling around the beautiful holiday lights and displays in downtown the next. The day after that was probably the most difficult one we have had with our son to date, leaving us all in tears and trying to figure out what is going on. So, you see the pattern we have these past few months--a few really bad days, one great day, a couple rotten ones, then a good few days. Too often in the tense moments, my hubby and I argue with one another over what to do and lose our balance, forgetting the team we should be in all of this. Last night, we reminded each other of that and its importance.

And, then there was today, which seemed to be a mix of all of the above. Fortunately, the good moments seemed to overshadow a couple of really bad timeouts given. I am trying to focus on positivity and not allowing bad behavior to push me to the point of losing my temper or my cool with my son. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, emotionally-speaking, but I know I will be a better person if I achieve this.

After a week of trying to get him to participate in some positive incentives to get him to do chores, my son finally took the bait today and did several of them happily. Between the hard moments, we made cookies, we played basketball, and we made gigantic bubbles in the driveway with his big bubble sword. And, oh...we laughed. And, as we laughed, we shared moments where we locked eyes--something I haven't gotten as often these days from my dear boy.

And, I realized that this is what really counts. These moments of drawing chalk outlines of cars on the pavement and seconds where I will look out my kitchen window and see my son chasing the dog and squealing in delight when she plays the game with him. If I could erase all the bad times, I would in a second. Yet, I know that I cannot. The only real choice is to give importance to every good little moment you have as a parent, in the midst of all the phases and trials thrown your way. And, to remember how blessed you truly are to even have the phases to work through, because each one makes you learn a new lesson and tests your heart in a different way.