Monday, December 19, 2005

The Harsh Truth Site

A month or two ago, I posted an entry about having a bad hair day with a picture. And, someone replied back commenting that my ponytail holder wasn't helping things. And, I thought...oh, wow. Is that out of style or something? Honestly, and rather sadly, I had no clue. I guess I'm not up on the trendiest hair products. Quite honestly, when I go to the gym, I don't even really care. In fact, I put the black version of that dorky ponytail holder in my hair this morning worked out to my heart's content without any worries.

Now, while little comment was made jokingly, I actually kind of appreciated it. (I don't even remember if it was from a regular commenter on here or not, so please don't feel singled out if it was you.) Then, today I read this hilarious entry on a blog that keeps me in stitches these days. It's highly crude, but true--we are immune to certain problems on our selves--like bad breath, body odor, and the smell of our own "gases."

Wouldn't it be great if there was some place people could go to post anonymous advice on these matters? While I don't think body odor or bad breath is a concern for me (I usually try to be quite careful with matters of hygiene), maybe someone really has something to say to me. We're talking, out of love and genuine kindness to a friend, not to blast someone's ego or be mean. Of course, if you had this, you would open yourself up to flaming, I am sure.

A few years back, I worked at a software company that mostly recruited people right out of college. So, one developer stuck out in this mix. He was from another country and middle-aged and quite overweight. But, he was actually quite well-liked because he was absolutely hilarious and fun. There was one problem. The man just plain stank. He didn't bathe but like once every week or two. You could smell his B.O. coming from 3-4 offices away. Finally, the manager of his group had to approach him and offer him a bar of soap and a frank discussion. Apparently, in his country, people just don't bathe as much as we do here in anal-retentive, hygiene-obsessed land!

I can't imagine how the manager approached this conversation! But, I do recall that the problem did not go away immediately. I left the company soon after, so I have no idea if the frank advice worked at all. Perhaps he ignored it, because he liked himself smelly or maybe he didn't believe the guy. But, at least someone tried, in a kind way, to let him know of the problem.

So, I wonder what sort of things I'd get on this sort of site? Perhaps a lesson in eyeliner use or how to accessorize properly? Maybe someone would advise me in what shoes I should be wearing with various outfits? These are all areas where I suspect I lack knowledge. Or, lately, maybe it would be, "Damn, MomCat, your blog has been SUCH a downer lately. C'mon, get happy already!"

Here's some more examples of what you might find on a "harsh-but-true personal advice" site:

"Francine, for the love of Betsy, please stop wearing the orange tank top.
It is really not flattering on your upper arm flappage."

"George, I need for you to brush your teeth more or use mouthwash. Perhaps a tic-tac would help in-between brushings. Your breath is scaring the clients."

"Don, if you don't buy some pants that fit around your waist, and not your hips, we're collecting funds to send you to plumbing school."

"Lucy, you stand too close when you talk to people. You are a close-talker."

"Jan, please swing your arms when you walk. You look like a caveman."
(The last two were obviously borrowed from Seinfeld, the later was one of my favorite episodes---reeeorrrr, catfight!)

So, you get the picture. Do you have a friend you wish you could tell these things to, but do not because you'll hurt their feelings? If so, vent away in my comments...uh, even if it is about me. HA! Perhaps I can patent this "Harsh Truths" site or something and make a fortune!

9 Comments:

Blogger Karen Rani said...

I have a favorite family member who has the WORST breath. I'm talking ass here, pure poo....it's NASTY!
She (yes, she) is well dressed, has beautiful perfumes, a great career, is funny, well-liked and has ass-breath. I don't have the courage to tell her.

2:39 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Vanessa said...

Ditto, I have a good friend who is absolutely beautiful with the most rancid breath I've ever had the displeasure to be around. I keep hoping her husband will tell her 'cause I'm too much of a wimp to do it.

(I'm going to refer to this post later tonight when I post on my blog.)

4:01 PM, December 19, 2005  
Anonymous Theresa said...

What a fun idea! (and I wear the same pony tail things so we're in that one together)

To my neighbor - B, as odd as you are, I sorta like you. But in the summer, when you wear sandals, we all see that your toenails haven't been cut in months and months. It's not pretty, even when you put nail polish on them. Please cut them or wear closed-toe sandals.

7:56 AM, December 20, 2005  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

You know, there used to be an awesome site called justatip.com. You could send an anonymous e-card to someone and tell them all kinds of horrible things about themselves. Just about every category was covered. It was hilarious- and quite fun to use on enemies, too. Not that -I- would ever do such a thing...

12:59 PM, December 20, 2005  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Oh and by the way, THANK YOU for nominating me, Steph! You made my day. :)

1:00 PM, December 20, 2005  
Blogger Tyra said...

I can't come up with anything right now but it's something I need to ponder, lol.

7:31 AM, December 21, 2005  
Blogger Shankari said...

Great post. Reminded me of the time I was in schol and a guy told me I could actually look good if only I did something about my hair. All these years later, I'm still as blowsy as ever! So what does one do about people who don't take the tip?!

8:34 AM, December 21, 2005  
Blogger christina said...

ha!You're too funny Steph. You know, I think there IS a site out there somewhere--or maybe it's a service, that sends annonymous tips to people for you about things like that. I remember reading about it in the paper, I think... a few years ago.

9:22 AM, December 21, 2005  
Anonymous c_rosalie said...

Thanks for your nomination btw, you made my day!

9:34 AM, December 21, 2005  

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