Saturday, April 29, 2006

Putting my puzzle pieces together...slowly...

I don't know if you all can tell, but lately I've been feeling some blog burnout. It seems to be happening to a lot of my blogging friends these days. Some are choosing to slow up or say goodbye to blogging, others seem to be jumping in further with articles being published all over blog-land. I suppose after a year or more of blogging, a lot of people get to the point of re-evaluation.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now about it all. I know that I've loved this process and love the writing on a regular basis. The friendships I've made through blogging are so invaluable to me. Those of you who have left me comments to commiserate, or counter with another viewpoint on something, have given me so much this past year. I really appreciate it.

Right now, I'm at such a crossroads in my life, as I have been all year. A lot of things are coming together for me emotionally speaking, and I'm having a lot of lightbulbs go off as I figure out more about who I am, as well as who I'd like to become in the years to come. But, there still are a lot of question marks. I guess this is a lot of what the 30s are supposed to be about, and it makes since that I'm halfway there because I'm halfway into the third decade of my life. Or perhaps the 20s are when I was supposed to do this, and I'm just a little delayed!

Some of the big things I've mulled over lately in my life include:

  • Do I want to jump full-force into freelance magazine/online writing when my daughter goes to Mother's Day Out next year?

  • Do I want to walk away from my previous career forever?

  • Would I want to completely switch careers to something like teaching that really appeals to me?

  • Can I even do that with two kids and my life in motion in opposing directions?

  • Should I start a new blog that would feature only the pieces of writing that I'd like editors and publishers to see?

  • Should I redesign this blog (the answer is yes) and consider changing what sorts of things I put on here (not likely)?

  • Will I ever reach my weight loss goals? Will this slower-than-Christmas losing be enough to help with my health concerns?

  • How can I build a close-knit family and help my son as he struggles through a really rebellious phase?

  • Will my daughter pick up on some of the nastier "features" of his latest phase and go to preschool acting like an almost 7 year old?

As you can tell, my mind is swimming. At the same time, some things have become more and more clear to me. My spiritual life has grown lately and is helping a great deal as I figure things out. My political beliefs are still where they've always been, but I question whether or not my votes really reflected what I believe given the state of our nation. I yearn to find someplace that I can make a difference in the world and make things better for the people of our country. Where I can see tangible things happen as a result of my support or actions.

In a nutshell, I'm the same mixed up Crazy MomCat you have always known. I just have not been blogging as much of this because, quite honestly, I don't know where to start! I hope you'll be patient with me. Expect some redesign or changes here in the future, although no promises on how long that will take me!


Anonymous Theresa said...

Honestly, I think life requires stopping once in awhile to make sure you are on the right road, no matter your age. Can you imagine if we didn't re-evaluate where we were and what our priorities are?

I walked away from blogging for 15 months before I came back last year. Summer was approaching, and I just needed to be with my kids, without distraction. Now my problem is balancing the schedule with time for me, and I'm not sure the way I am handling blogging is right, but I hope it works for me.

You are a very smart, courageous woman. You'll figure out what it is you need to be doing, and where you want your life to go. I have no doubts about it. These things sometimes take more time than we'd like, but getting there is much more important than getting there quickly, you know?

2:29 PM, April 29, 2006  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I'm sure you'll make good choices, Steph. Just stay true to yourself and you can't go wrong. :)

4:10 PM, April 29, 2006  
Blogger Shelli said...

I can totally relate to what you are feeling. I am reminded of a Reba McIntyre song, Is There Life Out There. I am going through some of these same struggles right now.

7:40 PM, April 29, 2006  
Anonymous Nicole said...

I'm right there with ya. Not sure how far I can (or want to) go with writing, not even sure if the career (for which I earned a Master's degree) is still suitable for me. And you know I'm with you on the weight loss path too!

I think it is okay to struggle. The clarity that comes after the struggle is worth it.

9:11 PM, April 29, 2006  
Blogger Barbara said...

Follow your heart.

10:18 PM, April 29, 2006  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Would miss you dreffull (how's that for Winnie the Pooh!) if you went. Change...change is good. Stretch your mind, explore your horizons. But come back.

The world (and the blogosphere, natch!) need as many intelligent, funny voices we can get.

10:50 PM, April 29, 2006  
Blogger Babs said...

I know you're not looking for advice... but I say YES, leave your previous career behind forever and do something that really appeals to you. I believe we're all supposed to find and fulfill our passions in this world... and you're one step ahead of me by knowing what yours might be! Plus, I think teaching is a great field when you have kids. (or so this single chick says ;-)

11:00 AM, April 30, 2006  
Blogger Vanessa said...

There's a bit of an epidemic going on with being blored by one's blogging. I'm part of that group, too. I have not, thank goodness, ever cared how many people read my blog. I read, or used to read, some that care only about the number of hits they receive in a day and how many ads they can put on their blogs. I think this misses the whole point of the personal blog. Anyway, I love reading your blog; you always touch a nerve with me, which makes me feel as if I have a blogging friend in you, MomCat!

5:37 PM, April 30, 2006  
Blogger Erin said...

I can completely relate. Something must be off in the universe, or at least in the blogging universe. I think what I need to do (and maybe it would help you too) is just sit back and re-prioritize my life and figure out why things seem so messy right now. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck. And as long as you are here, I'll be reading you!

11:03 PM, April 30, 2006  

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