I deserve the "Oscar" for this performance...

And, for "Best Destruction of a Kitchen Due to Holiday Baking," as well as the "Hypocrite of the Year" award, the Oscar goes to...

Crazy MomCat, for her pathetic attempt at holiday pretzels with the kids! Sure, we know that tons of you mommy bloggers have posted your experiences of joy making these easy treats with your kids. But, did any of you end up with a counter that looks like this?

I like to call this shot, "Elf Barf." It is what I imagine the elves' fraternity house looks like after the big post-Christmas bash.

And, let's zoom out and get a wide shot of the destruction, shall we? I have named this photo, "Honey, We're Eating Out Tonight."

My pretzel making experience with the kids was not the holiday bonding moment I thought it would be, to say the least. Chocolate dripped everywhere and as soon as the sprinkles hit it, they dripped everywhere. The kids were arguing over whose turn it was. I was shrieking, things such as: "Don't mix the candy canes with the nuts!" and "Merry Friggin' Christmas to me, this is such a disaster!" In the end, I distracted the kids away to play and I finished up the mess.

To all the bloggers out there who posted tales of wonderful fun dipping and creating your pretzel treats with the kids, I have to ask WHAT PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON?

Here's the finished product. They actually look much cuter than this once we peeled them off the wax paper and wrapped them up in cute cellophane holiday bags. Still, I can safely say, I will never...no never tackle these again!

Back to those two awards...the reason why I feel I have earned them is that this whole pretzel debacle really goes to show that no matter how hard I try to be a "Felix" on the outside, deep down I know the truth. I should tell my son that the apple, or in our case the Oscar, doesn't fall far from the tree, my friends!