A list of "do nots"...
Do NOT think just going on an interview for a cool sounding job is not a big deal. You will then torture yourself if it is your dream job and you know you don't have the time in your life to do it.
Do NOT volunteer to take on your church's website as your means of giving back. This job is way too much for someone like you. Dude, just volunteer at a bake sale or something...
Do NOT not think that not sleeping for several weeks on end will not catch up to you.
Do NOT cut back on working out and start eating out more during this time...the weight will come back on amazingly quickly.
Most of all...
Do NOT attempt to demonstrate the "duck walk" to tell a story while wearing your favorite pair of Docker slacks. Even if the slacks fit loosely, this sort of sudden jerk and pressure as you squat down will, in fact, rip the whole back seam of the pants, from back to crotch and you will be left with automatic air conditioning for your fanny.
And, finally a DO...
Do be glad that your pants splitting duck walk was at home, with no one else present other than your seven-year-old son and husband, who thought it was the most hilarious thing they'd ever seen and ran to get the digital camera for photographic evidence.
Do NOT volunteer to take on your church's website as your means of giving back. This job is way too much for someone like you. Dude, just volunteer at a bake sale or something...
Do NOT not think that not sleeping for several weeks on end will not catch up to you.
Do NOT cut back on working out and start eating out more during this time...the weight will come back on amazingly quickly.
Most of all...
Do NOT attempt to demonstrate the "duck walk" to tell a story while wearing your favorite pair of Docker slacks. Even if the slacks fit loosely, this sort of sudden jerk and pressure as you squat down will, in fact, rip the whole back seam of the pants, from back to crotch and you will be left with automatic air conditioning for your fanny.
And, finally a DO...
Do be glad that your pants splitting duck walk was at home, with no one else present other than your seven-year-old son and husband, who thought it was the most hilarious thing they'd ever seen and ran to get the digital camera for photographic evidence.
Labels: bad humor
posted by Crazy MomCat @ 8:01 AM
3 Comments:
I'm glad I have you around so I don't have to do any of those things!!!
You should have just said no to the website thing. That sounds like way too much work and detail.
I would like to see the pics of the new pant style!
Uh oh. Should we be expecting to see that evidence anytime soon?
No worries ladies. The evidence was never taken actually, thanks to my quick hands and my husband's slow draw on the digital camera. HA!
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