Saturday, February 17, 2007

How You Know You've Entered the Gates of Mommy Hell...

I despise kids haircutting chains. And, yet, I find myself there regularly with my children gritting my teeth and just hoping to get it over with quickly.

Until this past year, when my husband discovered a tiny little shop near our home where two Asian sisters cut hair for ultra-cheap (under $10, people!) They are sweet ladies trying to make their business a success and so I often bring the kids there. I have never had to wait more than 10 minutes and there is only two of them with no receptionist.

Today, if I could have telepathically transported myself and my children to their small salon, I most certainly would have done it. Because, today, I was stuck in pure Mommy hell.

When we walked in the "chain," it seemed a little crowded, but not ridiculously so. There were three ladies doing hair, and it seemed things were moving. I added my kids names to the list and made mental plans of the errands we would run afterwards, since my husband was called into to work all day. It looked like there were just 3 names ahead of us so I planned for a 15-20 minute wait, tops.

An hour-and-a-half later, we finally left. My blood sugar was near my ankles and I had a daze to my stare that only comes from spending too much time listening to little girls cry about getting their hair cut, overly-particular mothers pointing out each hair the stylist missed, and kids arguing over the Thomas the train set.

My advice for anyone who sets foot in one of these establishments is this--don't trust the list. As I learned, people who called in to make an appointment, even if they had called in 45 minutes AFTER I signed the list, were put ahead of us because they had an appointment. I deduced after the fact that I could have walked outside, called from my cell phone and we probably would have gotten in for our haircut 30 minutes earlier. Ridiculous!

At one point, I began mentally willing a small boy who was ahead of us in line to wet his pants. His mother kept asking him to go, and the child obviously had little-boy-bathroom-syndrome. He was not willing to leave the Legos for even a second to pee-pee, no matter what. And, I thought....hmmm...if he pees all over this floor, his mother will be mortified and ticked-off. Chances are, she wouldn't stick around with him in urine-soaked pants. And, hmm...then we'd move up a place in line.

That's when I knew I'd been there too long, my friends. My other clue was when my son actually grew tired of playing Tony Hawk's Pro Skate and started watching Dora with his sister.

The kids finally got in after about an hour and 15 minutes and got their cuts. We all left in bad moods that were not made better by a trip to a funky new car wash on the way home. Damn those haircutting chains!

No $6 off coupon will lure me in again, I tell you! It is just SO NOT WORTH IT.

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Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

LOL!! I only did the chain thing once... We go to the Vietnamese ladies in town, too. They are sweet and wonderful and inexpensive.

4:55 PM, February 18, 2007  
Blogger Nicole said...

For your son I have two words for you: buzz clippers. We bought a pair at Walmart for $15 and do all their haircuts at home now. As for your daughter, I have no ideas...

6:56 PM, February 18, 2007  
Blogger CPA Mom said...

I hate those places too. I cut my son's hair now myself (buzz clippers like nicole suggested). my daughter - I cut her bangs myself.

Great Clips by our house does a decent job on kids thought too, for the once a year cut I bring them in for. The waiting game continues there too though. Makes me want to go to beauty school.

12:24 PM, February 23, 2007  

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