Things that go BUMP in the night...

Things that I've run into in the middle of the night, while running to a crying child:

Item Crashed Into / Sound Emitted / Pain Felt (1-10, least to most heinous pain)

Closed door / thud / full head hit, 8.5; body collison, 5.0

Half-closed door / THUD / 9.0 (a half-closed door hurts MUCH worse than a fully closed)

Baby's Incrediblock cube/“the Farmer in the Dell,the Farmer in the Dell...” / 4.0 (not too bad, just noisy)

Hot Wheels / yoooooooow! / bare-foot, 7.0

Corner of end table / bonk...OWWWWWWWWWW! / knee, 7.0; mid-thigh, 9.5

Walls (anywhere) /thud / usually a 5.0, head-on nose contact, 8.5

Missing two stairs (with baby in arms), landing flat on "arse" on tile, “whooooop-----owwwwch!,” amazingly, a 2.0, but it gets a 5.0 for the scare factor of it all

My cat / “REER! Hissssssssssssssssss!,” / 0 pain unless I really get her good and she bites, then it's a 7.5

My husband, “Holy Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!,” / full body collision, 9.0; partial body collision 2.0