Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The divine "joker"

Isn't it funny how just when you start letting your life overwhelm you and you get entirely too serious about the big stressful things going on, that God manages to finagle some weird scenario to give you a little chuckle and a slap back to a more light-hearted reality? I firmly believe these things happen for a reason...someone is trying to tell us to GET A GRIP and LIGHTEN UP ALREADY! Well, message received, big guy...I'm learning to laugh again...

So, yesterday was very intense. After having a miscommunication kind of conversation with my closest friend in the morning, I hung up the phone frustrated. (This NEVER happens with us since we're so much alike. We have a blast as friends usually and have never had an argument even to this day.) A bit later, I attempted to go to my first PTO meeting at my son's school.

It was not to be. My daughter, who is just probably days away from sputtering out the Declaration of Independence or something (not really, but she's on the verge of talking finally), could NOT be quiet. She kept letting out these whiney cries as I tried to shovel muffin and another foods in her mouth to keep her quiet. The child just doesn't want to be in her stroller when I want her to be anymore. Now, other times, she finds her stroller and climbs in ready to go. Sigh. Something tells me I'm in for quite a ride with this child, let me tell you!

So, I leave the meeting with her in tow, screaming and kicking. Have I mentioned that she's only 16-months-old but having full-fledged, throw-down tantrums already? Maybe it's the red hair, I don't know...

After getting past all the looks of pity and other looks of annoyance and "could you get CONTROL of your bratty child already?," I finally get out of the meeting area and checked out of the school at the main office. I was realizing to my chagrin that I was not going to be a PTO-involved mom this year, and will have to be a behind-the-scenes kind of helper.

Then, as I tried to clear her stroller to put her back into it, my daughter broke away from me, running all the way behind the receptionist's desk into the PRINCIPAL's office at the school. Could I BE more embarrassed? Have I also failed to mention that, in addition to the wild-child tantrums, my darling daughter also can run faster than the likes of say Flo-Jo? One of the first comments people make when they've been around us any length of time is always something to the extent of: "Oh, my. She's quite fast, isn't she?"

But my deck was not full of embarrassment just yet. Because, after this, it dawned on me that I had left my purse under the table of the meeting area. So, yes, I had to walk BACK into the room, people jaws dropping when they thought I was actually coming back in to the meeting with my screaming monkey, to get my purse, and then I flitted out of the room as quickly as I could not missing the second round of stares and looks again. It was lovely...

Well, this was all too much for me that day. I'd been pushing aside all my feelings of nervousness and anxiety over my pending test results for diabetes sine I had blogged about it. (I will find out later today probably on this.) I had been avoiding feeling the frustration at my body doing things that I have no control over. And, so, I just melted down after the public embarrassment. I know my daughter is a gift to my family and I love her. But, she's a fireball and has decided to toy with the Terrible Twos early for me. I will laugh about this one day, but that day I could not.

So, I just folded my hand, called my husband and had a good cryfest. And all of this was on my 13th anniversary, when we did very little this year to celebrate, AND in the midst of my husband having to deal with some real stressful things at his work--like not receiving a promised bonus and also coming up on the day he's going to resign and go to work elsewhere. But, he handled it like a trooper and was really there for me.

So, I get through a difficult day and make it to the Curriculum Night at my son's school. I am happy to be there to learn what he'll be learning all year and get a chance to talk to his teacher about at-home projects I could do to help their class, since I know now that I cannot be at the school with my daughter this year.

I scan the cafeteria full of parents for someone I knew. I have been happy to realize lately that I actually know quite a few parents at the school. But, on this night, I see no one. So, I find a fairly empty row and sit down, thinking I'll wave over my friend that I'd had the difficult talk with earlier that morning.

I did not even get my purse on the floor when I felt someone swoop up next to me---right next to me. I turned to find my crazy neighbor, also known as the archenemy. Great, I thought. I'm going to be stuck by this woman through the whole meeting? Someone HELP ME! At one point, I saw my friend on the other side of the room, looking around for me. I waved. She refuses to admit this, but I KNOW she saw me. However, when she saw who was sitting next to me, she quickly sat on the other side. (We've both had to deal with this woman and she knows to avoid it. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing actually, if I were her!)

This is the part where I was asked to have a sense of humor, I think. Because, when I got to get up to go to my son's class, I turn the other direction to find that I've been sandwiched between my crazy neighbor and another person I would care not to see. I have not blogged about this woman, but it was a case of a friendship where all your red flags are going up about a person very early on. I saw signs of serious drinking problems, possibly drugs, body image issues, and possible abuse in her family, all in the short time she befriended me. She had joined my moms' group and after receiving immense help from our members during some difficult times with her child, she then disappeared without as much as a thank you. This was about a year and a half prior to now. I was pregnant and decided to blow it off, because I couldn't deal with the stress of someone like this in my life at that time. And, I haven't seen her since, although we live just a few blocks from one another.

So, tell me if do you think God was trying to make me laugh? To trap me between the two people I would rather never see in my life again? On the day that I've had such emotional break downs? Are you KIDDING ME?

The rest of the evening went very well. I met some of my son's new friends' parents and liked them all. We exchanged numbers, talked of playdates, etc. It was wonderful.

I baffled my husband by going home and laughing about the predicament I fell into that night. At some point, I think that is all that you can do when life deals you a bum hand. Pull out that joker and start laughing at the absurdity of the whole damn game.


Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Oh, I hope those tests come back with good results for you!! I hope it so much!

And you're not alone in the crying-to-your-husband-type days. Been there, done that.

I wish for you a few days of perfect peace and domestic bliss!!

9:42 PM, August 16, 2005  

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