Saturday, August 13, 2005

What's BUGgin' me

I was all prepared to do this clever little post tying in my love of candles and all things with "wicks" with the fact that we've been invaded by ear "wigs" lately, which is driving me crazy. Only, I just discovered, what's coming in our nooks and crannies is not what I call an "ear wig." This is an ear wig. Ewww...

I found this amazing site for
all things bugs. Looking at it repulsed and fascinated me at the same time. I couldn't stop scanning the photos. It was like watching the surgery channels on TV. People write in with their latest findings of bizarre bugs and the bug guru answers what bug it is, tells them how to get rid of it, whether it is dangerous, etc. Well, after looking at just a few pages of bug pictures, I think I have NO room to complain. There are some REALLY scary-ass bugs out there, and now I'm thankful that I've never seen any of them!

My issue isn't with all bugs. I am not quite consistent with my "bugist" tendencies either. For example, I like grasshoppers, but hate crickets. I think the grasshopper thing is only because of this--how cool is it that this insect can spit tar at its enemies? How many times would I like to have had this "feature" in my chemical make over the past few years? Oh, there would be a number of BSBs (back-stabbing bitches) walking away from me with a face full of black muck, let me tell you! Are you talking about me? Well, SPLAT! Take that, bee-otch!

Also, the fact that I have actually had a cricket's head pop off and hit me (a 5th grade bug collection mishap) AND that I had recurring nightmares in high school of waking up and eating a bowl of cereal only to look down and find it wasn't cereal but hundreds of live crickets, well that could give anyone an issue with those crunchy little bits of fun.

I think most of my squeamishness about bugs other than that has to do with leg length. Like, I have no problem with a june bug, however annoying they might be. But, show me a praying mantis, and I'm heading for the hills! I can handle spiders, but not the spiders with the really long legs. I like the fat little furry ones. I don't even step on all of those when I see them! The only exception to the leg thing (aside from grasshoppers) is roaches. I HATE those bastards! I think this is because 1> they fly unexpectedly and 2> the little f-ers do NOT die no matter what you do to them. Seriously, they should do studies on the genetic make-up of their little hard shells and start designing vehicles out of them, armor, bulletproof cop vests, or something!

So, back to the ear wigs that aren't ear wigs. We've had a serious problem with these little long skinny black bugs. They have a unsquishably hard shell and squeeze in through the tiny air holes around the door's weather stripping. And I am SICK of them. You think you've gotten one in your grip and it contorts it's long body like a member of Cirque de Soleil and escapes! Argh!

But, as if this wasn't enough, now we're having a freakin' gecko invasion of mammoth proportion. I am not exaggerating here. Our flower beds are suddenly filled with not only the tons of bigger lizards we're used to seeing, but these tiny little geckos that look like this:

One of my pals, Jessie's Girl, blogged about her lizard fascination awhile back. I too find lizards and reptiles totally cool and interesting and have never been scared of them. Dude, they can regrow their tails! How can I NOT find that completely awesome?

But, lately, um...we've found a few of these little darlings camouflaged in our house! And, I keep thinking, what if one crawls on me while I'm trying to sleep? Don't think I won't go all ape-shit on any lizard that does that. I don't care HOW much I like them!

So, I've gone now from bugs to lizards crawling on us in our sleep. And speaking of that, in my web research of earwigs, I read numerous disgusting web discussions on them crawling into your ears. I thought that was a myth, but it sounds like bugs can crawl into your ear while you sleep, get caught in there and even cause serious damage. And, that's just sick, people. I mean, that's sicker than a bowl full of half-eaten crickets in the morning, isn't it?


Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I read somewhere that the average person eats one spider a year. I'm assuming most of us do it in our sleep. Ewww. Judging from my house, our spider-eating average is considerably higher. They're everywhere! But because of them, we have no other bugs (usually!) so I try not to complain too much!

9:46 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Dipu said...

So any idea what the bugs you have are? Do they make a popping noise when they jump or fly around? I've had a mini-invasion of these small, long black bugs with a hard shell lately. I'll usually find them because I'll hear a mysterious popping noise somewhere in the house every few seconds. Once, it even sounded like water dripping, but I tracked the source down to a bug trapped inside a metal clothes rod in a closet.

I love geckos, though, because I assume they eat a lot of the bad bugs. I feel bad whenever one gets in the door unbeknownst to me, and I'll find it's cat-beaten body days later. I'm cool with most spiders to the point that I try to "rescue" them... except the nasty-looking ones...

10:43 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Carol said...

I thought my ants were do you handle it????

8:50 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger Crazy MomCat said...

Lucinda--eww...that is really sick!

Dipu--not sure on what kind, i haven't had time to do further research. No popping noises, but your description sounds just like 'em.

Carol--I mostly try to cope by pretending they aren't there, which is no solution at all. You should read Lucinda's blog for ant battles, she is an EXPERT at this point. HA!

10:02 PM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger Oreo said...

Thank you for coming to my blog. I really like yours too. I'll be back often. I'm sorry if my buggie bothered you!!!

6:59 AM, September 03, 2005  

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