Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Don't label me...

There are moments in your life that define you. Instances when you know your life will never be the same. This morning, I had a moment like that.

Growing up, I always hated labels. When someone tried to label me and put me in a category, it seemed to light a fire inside of me. It is the only time I felt really like being rebellious. Even if the label was true, I wanted to do something to prove I was not this predictable being that someone can label and be done with. I am still this way today.

Maybe this comes from having a mother who quickly puts people in her "categories" before she even knows them. This kind of quick judgment really turns me off and I despise it. I have strived in my life to not be "a labeler" and to try to understand other points of view.

Today, I was labeled. And it is a label that I can't really rebel from, but for which I am very angry and sad all at the same time.

"Your numbers are quite high" he said, rattling off the results that make my jaw drop to the floor.

"This is diabetes."

(silence on my end)

"We need to see you to start treatment right away."

The words hit me in the face and stopped me in my tracks. This was real now. This label that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, even if I get things on track. This label now defines me and my life will never be the same again....

4 Comments:

Anonymous irene said...

Steph, hang in there. God I can't believe it's for real now. but it's not a label, it's just something you have. this does not define your character nor define what the purpose of your life will be. think of it as a 6th sense. something that not all people have and that will make you stronger. more open. more tolerant and receptive than others. at least that's what I like to think about my boys' asthma. keep positive thoughts, ok?

11:03 AM, August 17, 2005  
Blogger christina said...

Perhaps this "lable" is about getting you to see yourself differently. Maybe this can be a catalyst for new action and change. Putting yourself first in a different way,perhaps. Not a lable so much as a word calling you to active duty in your life, asking you to give yourself the same care and attention and creativity that you give to your kids and to the other people in your life... And from what I've read & know about you Steph, you will respond with grace and courage. You'll be okay. More to come, via email... :)

11:21 AM, August 17, 2005  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Oh Steph, I'm so sorry. Stay strong and try to think positive thoughts. I'm still praying for you!!

3:15 PM, August 17, 2005  
Blogger Carol said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I've watched kids at my schools with diabetes and I'm always amazed at how calm they are about having it. They adjusted so well...I hope that you can too. What a shock. Again, I'm sorry.

8:41 PM, August 17, 2005  

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