With every thing let go, a weight is taken off...

Today was a pretty good day all around. My visit to the doctor for a treatment plan went very well. Here are some of the highlights:

- I will have to be on a low dosage of medicine, but not have to take insulin shots.

- I will have to test my blood sugar, but only twice daily instead of 4-6 times that I thought I'd have to do.

- I will need to see a dietician to get on a serious weight loss plan, but I have already lost 4 pounds since my last doctor's visit a week and a half ago! (I have a new diet plan I may market to the masses--it's called "Get Diagnosed with a Scary Disease and Scare Yourself Out of Eating!)

So, the ball is rolling in terms of treatment and adjusting my lifestyle to hopefully rid myself of this thing.

And, I'm also taking charge and letting go of some stresses in my life that add to the chaos. I have bid farewell to my bunco group, after realizing that I don't fit in to this group and that I won't really be missed either. The response from my good-bye email to the group confirmed that I am doing the right thing as well. There were no tears shed and lots of shallow "best of lucks" all the way around. I also let go of some other activities that I've made that were more stress in my life than enjoyment. It sounds bad, but I am using this diagnosis a little to get out of the many things I have loaded myself down with over the years.

To understand why this is such a chore, you have to know how I set myself up for stress without really even realizing it. When we moved to this city, I knew no one aside from family. I didn't have a job and was quite isolated in a rental house that was half the size of the house we'd been in and full of grumpy neighbors. So, I jumped into things full-force to build a network of friends, work contacts, and so forth.

I wasn't working at the time, nor did I have plans to return to my career for years. But, I still felt compelled to join a professional organization and became their PR person. I went to meetings and networked like there was no tomorrow. I designed brochures for the group and got my name out there. For what, I haven't a clue.

I joined the moms' group I had been a member of in a previous city. And, I jumped into that, designing their first website and email loops, attending playgroups, and Moms' Night Outs, making friends and finding friends for my son.

Once into my new neighborhood, I quickly joined what looked to be the most fun bunco group and also the first I was invited to join. I volunteered for neighborhood events and joined a neighborhood playgroup. At one point, I was dragging my poor son to 3 different playgroups in an attempt to get the both of us some new friends. I was a woman on a mission, folks!

Now, fast-forward to today--five years later, and you can see why I'm over-committed all over the place and have no free time to enjoy things, decorate my house, play with my kids, and just LIVE LIFE! It is hard for me to let go of a commitment, and that is part of my problem, I think. I never want to let anyone down.

But, today, after I let go of one of my big social commitments each month, it was like a huge weight was off my shoulders. I know it sounds silly, but the day just went better and felt more "open" and relaxed. I actually cleaned my windows throughout the house--something that I never would have time to do normally. And my darling Miss Kitty helped me happily. And it was...well, strange as it sounds, WONDERFUL.

I can see a light at the end of this tunnel. It has me fitter and happier and learning that I don't have to pack my schedule with people and commitments to be happy anymore. I can be happy just being me and staying in touch with the handful of friends who mean the most to me, spending time with my kids and husband. And, most of all, learning to give myself a break!