Something a tad lighter...

Because that last blog post was entirely too intense, sad, and just filled with PMS or whatever freakish hormonal wave I must be riding today, I give you something a little "lighter."

Now, when I use the word lighter, I should actually refer to a Bic lighter because that is what I need to light to melt off the many calories of CRAP (I say in my best Mike Myers "If it's not Scottish" voice) that I have added back onto my newly toned physique over the past 3 days. I mentioned briefly here the really, really mean thing my darling husband did to me by leaving awesome food in my house for me to inhale.

Well, I find myself sitting here a big ole' hypocrite. (Call me hippo for short...as of present, it actually is a good description. HA!) Because while I posted about someone I love having a drug of choice (lying), I have to admit I have my own little addiction to worry about. Yep, it's food.

It wasn't until I'd inhaled all the leftover taquitos by lunchtime the following day, then moved on to a cookie and later glorious peanut M&Ms that I knew I was losing it. When I surveyed the damage I realized something---DUDE...I have a problem, don't I? Honestly, since I've been on this Weight Watchers core plan, I thought I was in control. I really hadn't had cravings for things much and had felt happy and still losing weight while not feeling deprived.

So, why then did I gulp down the remainder of that 2 liter Coke like I was drinking liquid gold or something? And, today, as I come down from the food high, I really do feel like an addict...trembling and wishing I had one more hit of that pizza.

I think the answer lies in the fact that 1>food is a total addiction and bandaid for anything I have wrong in my life and 2>I am really a rebel in disguise. Yes, I did have a squeaky clean do-gooder image in high school and haven't really done a lot to change that over the years. But, two things can make me want to jump on a Harley and drive up to local churches and flash people my not-so-perky breasticles. Those are when someone labels or assumes something about me and/or when I am told I HAVE to do something.

I was never a chocoholic or much of a sweet tooth. Then, I was diagnosed diabetic and told I shouldn't eat that stuff. Now, chocolate comes to me in my dreams, beckoning and tormenting my soul.

This is made worse by the fact that other's will openly judge what I should be eating when they find out I'm diabetic now. I've actually had several boldly say to me, "Are you supposed to eat that?" while giving me looks as if I was downing a bottle of arsenic instead of a high-calorie soft drink.

So, let's get the record straight here, once and for all in a nice little bulleted summary of my long-windedness:

• I can, in fact eat a sweet now and then. I have diabetes, but it is all about balancing carbs. It is worse for me to eat bread 3 meals a day than a Hershey Kiss or ice cream once in a blue moon. But, still my latest antics were not good for me, I am sure.


• With that said, I would STILL trade my husband's left nut for a Nutrageous chocolate bar about now.


• I will put my claws out if you try and tell me I can't have that Nutrageous or tell me how I should eat or be with this disorder, when you know nothing about it really.


• My weigh in at Weight Watchers is going to "bite the big one" in two days and I am dreading it completely.

Thank you for your time and happy snacking everyone! (grin)