Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Something a tad lighter...

Because that last blog post was entirely too intense, sad, and just filled with PMS or whatever freakish hormonal wave I must be riding today, I give you something a little "lighter."

Now, when I use the word lighter, I should actually refer to a Bic lighter because that is what I need to light to melt off the many calories of CRAP (I say in my best Mike Myers "If it's not Scottish" voice) that I have added back onto my newly toned physique over the past 3 days. I mentioned briefly here the really, really mean thing my darling husband did to me by leaving awesome food in my house for me to inhale.

Well, I find myself sitting here a big ole' hypocrite. (Call me hippo for short...as of present, it actually is a good description. HA!) Because while I posted about someone I love having a drug of choice (lying), I have to admit I have my own little addiction to worry about. Yep, it's food.

It wasn't until I'd inhaled all the leftover taquitos by lunchtime the following day, then moved on to a cookie and later glorious peanut M&Ms that I knew I was losing it. When I surveyed the damage I realized something---DUDE...I have a problem, don't I? Honestly, since I've been on this Weight Watchers core plan, I thought I was in control. I really hadn't had cravings for things much and had felt happy and still losing weight while not feeling deprived.

So, why then did I gulp down the remainder of that 2 liter Coke like I was drinking liquid gold or something? And, today, as I come down from the food high, I really do feel like an addict...trembling and wishing I had one more hit of that pizza.

I think the answer lies in the fact that 1>food is a total addiction and bandaid for anything I have wrong in my life and 2>I am really a rebel in disguise. Yes, I did have a squeaky clean do-gooder image in high school and haven't really done a lot to change that over the years. But, two things can make me want to jump on a Harley and drive up to local churches and flash people my not-so-perky breasticles. Those are when someone labels or assumes something about me and/or when I am told I HAVE to do something.

I was never a chocoholic or much of a sweet tooth. Then, I was diagnosed diabetic and told I shouldn't eat that stuff. Now, chocolate comes to me in my dreams, beckoning and tormenting my soul.

This is made worse by the fact that other's will openly judge what I should be eating when they find out I'm diabetic now. I've actually had several boldly say to me, "Are you supposed to eat that?" while giving me looks as if I was downing a bottle of arsenic instead of a high-calorie soft drink.

So, let's get the record straight here, once and for all in a nice little bulleted summary of my long-windedness:

  • I can, in fact eat a sweet now and then. I have diabetes, but it is all about balancing carbs. It is worse for me to eat bread 3 meals a day than a Hershey Kiss or ice cream once in a blue moon. But, still my latest antics were not good for me, I am sure.

  • With that said, I would STILL trade my husband's left nut for a Nutrageous chocolate bar about now.

  • I will put my claws out if you try and tell me I can't have that Nutrageous or tell me how I should eat or be with this disorder, when you know nothing about it really.

  • My weigh in at Weight Watchers is going to "bite the big one" in two days and I am dreading it completely.

Thank you for your time and happy snacking everyone! (grin)


Anonymous Jennifer said...

I'm eating carrots while I'm reading this post, and now all I can think is: "Hmmmm, wonder how they'd taste all dipped up in chocolate?"

So, thanks for that. :-)

I'm not a big fan of "fooling the scales", but my WW leader told us the other day that it takes three days from binge to scale and vice versa. For what it's worth.

3:38 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Babs said...

wow, i did not expect the part about your husband's left nut. YIKES! ;)

3:45 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Crazy MomCat said...

LOL Jennifer--I go weigh in on Thursday, exactly 3 days from my last bad day. Thanks though!

Babs, you know I'm totally kidding about the nut--although I'm sure the hubs won't like that one bit. He! He!

4:00 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Lisabell said...

As far as the food addiction goes, I am so much like you it is scary. I know we've discussed this over the years, but it was still a shock to see it in writing: you read my mind!

Right now I'm sitting in my PJs (yes, at 4pm) and wondering if it's worth it to get dressed for a chocolate run.

I'll let you know how it turns out ;)

4:18 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

Ehh...I'm sure he doesn't use the left one much anyway. :)

Good luck with the weigh-in--maybe it will surprise you (in a good way).

4:31 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Nicole said...

I have been suffering the monthly hormone thing this week and have eaten all the ice cream, salad peppers, fruit loops and even a batch of chocolate cupcakes with blue icing I whipped up on a whim. Isn't summer right around the corner? Can't wait to get in a swimming suit. Woo hoo. Don't beat yourself up...

6:03 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Vanessa said...

You need to read "Overcoming Overeating." It talks about how not sticking to a diet is NORMAL because dieting is a form of deprivation and we can't do it forever. It's also why you might lose a little weight on a structured diet, but then go back to your usual eating when you're "finished" with the diet. Makes a lot of sense.

7:20 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Barbara said...

You both hysterical and compelling. I'm with you. World - Stop minding Crazy Momcat's business and worry about your own life.

8:29 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Tamara said...

I used my "free pass" so I wouldn't have to weigh at my WW meeting in last week.

I love butterfingers.

I haven't had one in a really long time. But I love them all the same.

10:09 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Carol said...

Are we all on Weight Watchers? I, too, struggle with eating what I want vs. eating what I should. This may sound crazy, but I actually think it's great that you cheated. this is my THIRD attempt at WW...the other two times I lost a lot of weight (about 25 lbs.)only to gain it all back. I truly think that it's because I never cheat while I'm on it. My body doesn't even know how to handle "regular" food, or eating habits, after I'm done with my loss.

good luck and don't worry about any slight gains this week - the key is not to give up entirely.

10:48 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Viamarie said...

You can try taking small frequent feedings and see how it will affect your weight. Just stick to fruits, vegetables and low carb pasta.

Good luck!

6:56 AM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger Tyra said...

You know I feel your pain.

I love what you said about the Nutrageous bar, lol!

9:09 AM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger Lisa said...

I really need to get my eating under control. It's just gross now.

I have a Nutrageous bar on hand, but I'm afraid I already have a jar full of left nuts. You got anything else? ;-)

10:30 AM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

You just made me really, really hungry. :)

10:30 AM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger "D" said...

CMC, I'm just coming back and am LOL re your post! I too am a total kiss my a** rebel re food. If I want it, then get the heck out of my way! Consequences be damned!

10:54 AM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger Erin said...

You are doing a great job. Keep up the good work! :) And don't be too hard on yourself hon!

11:24 AM, April 05, 2006  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Oh honey! His left nut is worth at least 15 of those! More if it's not strictly ornamental! Get your um, moneys worth out of it!

6:22 PM, April 05, 2006  
Blogger Karen Rani said...

*stomach growling*

Thanks CrazyMomCat!

7:46 AM, April 06, 2006  

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