Wednesday, May 24, 2006

It was like some sort of very bad dream...

I just watched the American Idol finale. And, I have to ask those of you who will even admit to watching, was it JUST ME or was it like watching someone's very mixed up, bizarrely bad dream?

Did they really NEED two hours for that crap? It was really almost painful. I was so glad we recorded it and I could fast-forward that puppy, let me tell you.

Not only did the group of finalist perform every song imaginable, but we had these lovely moments:

  • Actual live performances by the worst auditioners

  • Clay Aiken, hiding beneath the most bizarre hairdo of the night, singing along with a very sad imitator of him from this season's auditions. The imitator was crying like he was singing with The Beatles or something!

  • Really bad skits with Kelly Pickler and Wolfgang Puck. It is one thing to have a sense of humor about being ditzy. It's another to try and make some sort of t.v. career out of it.

  • The strangest lineup of live performers of any show I have ever seen, including:

    Dionne Warwick
    Tony Braxton
    Burt Baccharach
    Did I say Meatloaf?
    Freakin' PRINCE? (What the hell Prince? Whatever cool factor you still had left, is now gone for me.)

But, my favorite part of the whole show was just after Hicks was named Idol. That's when they did the best celebrity cutaway of the night to....

David Freakin' Hasselhoff

And, what was even better than that?

He was freaking CRYING people. His makeup was running and his molded smooth plastic surgeried-out face was contorted in a really unnatural position.

It was worth all the cheesy montages just for that one moment. I just wish I could have found a photo of it to share.

Now, let me close with something very important. My advice to dear Chris Daughtry. Chris, if you happen to Google your name and get this...please listen. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT!

I really thought you outsang the lead singer of Live tonight, you sideburned hunkmeister. I'm still a fan, even after that God-awful Christopher Cross song they made you sing. Please, run away. Run far, far away. Do NOT tour the country with American Idol. Do not sing another one of their songs. It will be the kiss of death to your future rock aspirations. I promise you.


Blogger foppuz said...

I stumbled across your blog...I too was like "why is David Hasselhof crying??"

This was my first idol season. I don't think I'll repeat it.

I am glad that Taylor won.

12:24 AM, May 25, 2006  
Blogger Lisabell said...

OMG, I am laughing soooo hard -- my post on this topic sounds almost identical to yours -- we're soulmates, my friend :D

David F-ing Hasselhoff. That was pure. television. gold.

12:34 AM, May 25, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey I don't get American pop idol where I live but why would I need it? Your accounts of it always makes me chuckle!

7:32 AM, May 25, 2006  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

David The Hoff??? Why did we need to see him? And crying?? Scary.

I was like you and didn't really care about these two but I guess out of the two I would have rather had Taylor win that that McPhee girl.

10:21 AM, May 25, 2006  
Blogger Babs said...

Funny... I thought your advice to the Chris dude would be to tell him to shave. ;-)

11:34 AM, May 25, 2006  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

If only! If only I could've seen David Heffendorffer crying! You are a lucky, lucky woman!

7:10 PM, May 25, 2006  
Blogger Nicole said...

Did you know that Hasselhoff is actually a HUGE superstar singer in Germany? I mean, like Elvis.

Anyway, very funny post. I do have to say that I thought the awards they gave out were hilarious ;-) I even like the Puck/Pickler things. But then again, I just love that stupid show and have rose colored glasses on....

8:29 PM, May 25, 2006  
Blogger Barbara said...

I thought so too. They are good at the regular singing shows, but they better call Carol Burnett next time they want to do a variety show.

12:24 AM, May 28, 2006  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

I don't watch, but the Hasselhoff thing almost makes me wish I did. :)

8:28 AM, May 29, 2006  
Blogger Lazy Daisy said...

Whoa, was Meatloaf absolutely the worst? I felt sorry for Katherine trying to sing with him.

11:57 AM, May 29, 2006  
Blogger Crazy MomCat said...

Daisy, Meatloaf was so awful! What was up with that vibrato at the beginning of the song? I seriously thought the guy must be in detox or SOMETHING! HA!

5:12 PM, May 29, 2006  

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