Sunday, May 14, 2006

This one's for the moms...

Today is the day when mothers all around the country will wake up to burned toast and handmade cards, to extra hugs and kisses and thoughtful gifts by our families. Some will spend the whole day pampering themselves somewhere fancy, others will curl up with a good book in solitude, and still others will choose to spend it with their families or friends doing what they do every day--mothering.

When I was growing up, I was not the type of girl who dreamed of being "a mommy." No, I had future aspirations that ranged from astronaut to private detective (I still think this would be awesome), and those dreams changed almost weekly (and they still do, actually). I did not relate to the girls who sat and planned out their weddings, their future kids' names, and their fantasy life once they found Prince Charming. Sure, all of this would be great one day, but why think about it now? I was busy playing basketball, hanging out at our local swimming pool, and having deep crushes on unattainable boys who were much to old for me at the time!

I went to college and loved my life there and met my future husband. We married and vowed we were not in a rush for children. And, much to the dismay of our families, we held to that and did not have our first child for almost eight years. Our loved ones had all but given up, assuming we were too consumed by our jobs to even think of having kids.

And, then it happened. Our son was born and my life has never been the same. Those who knew me before I had kids and know me now could probably have better words to describe the changes that have taken place over the last six years. Here are some things that come to mind, when I think about motherhood and it's impact on my life.

  • I've felt exhaustion (90 percent of the time) and exhilaration, worry and warm fuzzies, frustration and feelings of hopelessness.

  • I have had days where I feel like the biggest failure at this job of mothering, and then times when I feel like there is no other job I'd ever want to have.

  • I've deeply missed my career and then realized that I will never go back to my job the same person again. After years, I wonder now if I want to ever go back to that career at all now.

  • Being a mom has made me a better person, constantly seeing how my flaws and problems can either turn up in one of my children or cause other problems in them as well.

  • I have learned patience and problem-solving skills that match no other job I have held in my life.

  • I am learning that loving yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can teach a child, and it is also the most challenging goal I will ever personally achieve.

  • Being a mother has taught me about helplessness and learning to let go.

  • It has made me turn to God like I have never before.

  • Every heartache one of my children has felt, I have felt tenfold. Every success, even when it is small to them, feels like a huge mountain climbed in my soul.

  • I have felt more love than I have ever known in my life and then only wanted to give and feel more love back from the whole experience.

Even with all of these words, there is no way to describe motherhood fully, except to say that I am changed completely. I am blessed and thankful for being a mom every day.

So, on this Mother's Day, I wanted to wish all the "mommy bloggers" out there the very best. We may get a bad wrap out in cyberspace, but there is no doubt that anyone who is a mother understands a need to reach out, connect, and be heard during this most wonderful and most challenging time in our lives. So, here's to you, moms!


Blogger Viamarie said...

Hope your Mother's Day was filled with lots of love and happiness.


7:19 AM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger Tyra said...

Being a mom has really humbled me, that's for sure. Motherhood has also taught me how to put others before myself, it's not about me anymore.

8:19 AM, May 15, 2006  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Amen to everything you said! I hope your Mother's Day was wonderful! :)

8:27 AM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

Happy Mother's Day!

8:31 AM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger "D" said...

I was most struck by your comment that you wouldn't return to work as the same person you were when you left..THAT is so true! It is why I am in a quandary about which profession to pursue now - the old one just doesn't fit. Hope MD was a great one for you -you deserve it!

11:54 AM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger Carol said...

We sound very similar - I, too, was not one to think about weddings, nor babies. I didn't even think I was mature enough to have any until my early thirties and waited till 36 to finally experience it.

You have described motherhood well. I wonder if my problems "fitting in" to my job lately have to do more with being a parent, than with a dissatisfaction with the work? Thanks for making me think.

12:29 PM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger Nicole said...

Happy Mother's Day to you, too! Nice post...

2:29 PM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

Hope your Mom's Day was a happy one! :)

5:07 PM, May 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful. Happy (late mommy's day to you too!)


6:56 PM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger Lisa said...

Happy Mother's Day Momcat! I hope you had a wonderful day and celebrated with lots of smiles and warm fuzzies. ;-)

8:13 PM, May 15, 2006  
Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

That was very well said. Happy Mother's Day. I know this is pretty late but my server was down since Saturday. It is only now that I was able to have access to it.

8:28 PM, May 15, 2006  
Anonymous Lisa said...

You are so right! I hope you had a great mothers day too!

1:25 PM, May 16, 2006  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Well, you were the first mommyblogger I met, and I'm grateful for that! :)

Hope you had a great Mother's Day!

10:23 AM, May 18, 2006  

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