How to Divorce Your Hairdresser 101

I have to admit something. A good portion of my life, I have been "hair-obsessed." That's not to say I have HAD great hair, but I have thought about it and strived for great hair for entirely too many minutes of my life.

I think it all started as a child, when I'd accompany my grandmother to her "beautician." Yes, in our rural Texas town, your hair stylist was called a "beautician" back then. Claudia had been my grandmother's stylist for as long as I can remember. My grandmother would drive about 20 minutes out to Claudia's farm to have her hair done in her makeshift beauty salon in her detached garage.

Claudia was a master at what I like to call "old lady hair," which was all the rage among my grandmother's bridge club and church friends. There was the perm, the color (always either jet black or a blue-ish gray), and the setting into big bristly rollers. Then, came my favorite part--the styling. You see, after those over-processed coifs came out of the hair dryer, they were in for more abuse by way of the teasing comb. Claudia was fearless when it came to ratting up a woman's hair so her curls made the perfectly round dome on her head. No holes were allowed and she'd make sure she got every spot before she applied a toxic dose of Aquanet that always made me gag aloud. I can't tell you how many mornings I spent with coloring book in hand intently watching Claudia work. She gossiped and yapped as she ratted away, and it fascinated me completely.

But, worse than watching her tease away at some poor old woman's hair, was the dreaded "bang day" for me. Claudia was probably in her mid-sixties, but she still wore bangs herself. I don't know if she thought they made her look more youthful, but there was a definite silliness to seeing a woman of her age with the straight across bang cut, I have to tell you. And, so, she'd perch perfectly still atop old phonebooks and Sears catalogs in her chair, as she combed the bangs down straight. I'd say a little prayer that she wouldn't cut them too short, but she always did. I good percentage of the time, I'd leave her salon with a good imitation of the "Dumb and Dumber" bang cut. You could draw a perfectly straight mark across your forehead where my hideous hair lined up.

As a teen, I found a much more trendy hair dresser in a nearby city and insisted my Mom drive me there. I even dabbled myself in hair trimming when my mother could not make it to her hairdresser or my sister needed a bang trim. And, I wasn't half-bad at the job either! Although, my Ballerina Barbie might argue with this--her layered style did NOT turn out as I'd planned!

Over the years, I have had a number of good and bad hair stylists. The relationships have varied. With some, I have sat in silence, others have not let me get a word in edge-wise, and still others let me talk my own head off. I'm pretty low-maintenance as a client, in my opinion. But, there are times when a separation of stylist and client becomes necessary. Handling this split can be quiet tricky, as I have found. Here is some advice for the hair-lorned, should you need to look elsewhere for styling:

1. Never, and I do mean NEVER share a hairdresser with your spouse. This is equivalent to dealing with child custody issues in a nasty divorce. I was trapped into staying with a horrid hairdresser in Austin, who flirted shamelessly with my husband and made it known she didn't care for me, because of this situation. My husband later tolerated a sub-par stylist in Dallas because she did my hair great. (It was only fair after the hair hoar in Austin, if you asked me!) Separate stylists are a MUST for any couple!

2. Make sure you are ready to leave, before you go dabbling on the side with another stylist. Hair stylists may not always be able to tell if you've had a cut by someone else, especially if you let it grow out. But, they CAN definitely tell if you've cheated by looking at your highlights and curls. Don't "diss" your dresser like this until you're sure you're not coming back. Hair-infedelity can result in a hair revenge cut, something none of us wants to experience!

3. It is not kosher to find another stylist in the same salon. Most recently, I found myself with a small hair-crush on the stylist who cuts hair immediately in back of my hair dresser. I had friends who went to the other stylist, and I knew she was great with kids. I gazed at her mirrored reflection styling head after beautiful head while I stayed with the same boring in-between 'do. My hairdresser had no ideas for my hair except that she wanted it short, and flipping up in back. I did not want this style anymore and so she had nothing else she was willing to offer up.

4. Changing hair stylists is like pulling off a bandaid. Do it quickly. Rip and don't look back! And, then just hope you never bump into them at the mall later on and have to explain yourself.

When I could not get into my hairdresser for the millionth time and I was overdue for highlights, I bit the bullet. I found a neighbor who consistently has awesome hair who I knew wouldn't pay an arm and a leg for a cut. I got the name and number and I booked. And, my friends, it was the loveliest few hours for my hair that I have ever experienced. The care that this stylist took with my locks was magical. The scent of Paul Mitchell products took me to places never traveled. And, the finished look was gorgeous! She passed my test too by having suggestions for my hair and training tips. She was not too pushy, but definitely had ideas for change and improvement.

I came home super-conditioned to complements from my husband. Proudly, I proclaimed, "Mitzi is toast." Another stylist bites the dust. Sure, the new girl is a little more expensive, but honestly, DAHLINGS, isn't your hair too important to leave with someone who does not meet your standards?