Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Leaving the mark of my behind...on my COUCH!

I have to admit something this evening. I have become addicted to a certain network. Admitting this problem is somewhat embarrassing, as the "cheese" factor in the network I am watching is probably quite high. In addition, my couch potato ways are something that I'm not that proud of, yet they continue to be a part of me. In fact, maybe that's really what I'm admitting to here--a nasty TV affliction. That's a little too hard to really talk about though, so I'll focus on the network for awhile.

I am addicted to "TLC" people. (For those of you who are more into reading books and high-brow blogs, that is The Learning Channel, which is a part of the Discovery network. Many years ago, it started with Trading Spaces. But, I burned out on the designers and format about the time they got rid of the perky cute hostess. And, I left TLC for awhile there, for greener pastures...namely the Food Network.

But, I'm back now, and stronger than ever. It started with my love of What Not to Wear, which I've mentioned here before. The show has brainwashed me into changing how I think about clothes and my appearance. It is frightening that a silly show would occupy my thoughts as much as this one has. But, now I'm branching out, and I think that's what has me worried. Now, I've found shows like "Surviving Motherhood," "Honey, We're Killing the Kids," and "1 Week to Save Your Marriage." And tonight, when I was watching the intro to "Little People, Big World," and I found myself being reeled in, I knew that I was out of control.

It's all too good to be true though, isn't it? On one network, you can redesign your home, your ideals, your marriage, your wardrobe, and your life! Who could ask for more really! Hold on a second while I rub some more salve on my ass where the couch sores have started to form.

This happened to me a few years back, when my husband deemed me the "WB Queen." Yes, I'll admit it, I watched 7th Heaven, Dawson's Creek, and several other WB (read "teen") hits when I was way older than a teen. I blame this all on my father who gave me the "bad tv" gene. The man proudly admitted that his favorite shows included "All in the Family," "Married with Children," and "The Dukes of Hazzard." (Those last two should definitely give you pause.)

I implore you for some help here. How can I break myself of this cycle? My DVR and dish are only making the problem worse, and yet I cannot rid myself of those two things. They have become necessities for me, like the air that I breathe while I'm watching 30 Days. I'd get rid of my cell phone long before I got rid of our DVR. Cheesy, self-help reality TV is my crack, people, and I won't stop this funky train until it derails!

Intervention? Yes, that is another show I've been thinking of watching. Now, what channel does that one come on again?

Wait. Oh, you're talking about having one for ME? Oh....

Well, good luck, my friends. I've got a couple of 30 Minute Meals recorded and waiting for me the cue, so you'd better make it quick. That Rachel Ray is a feisty little cook, and she doesn't like to be kept waiting.


Blogger Babs said...

ooooh, Little People, Big World is a good one! :-) Here's my theory, it pays to be up on pop culture and TV shows... you may need the knowledge for small-talk in the future. Plus, imagine all the stuff you've learned on What Not to Wear. That's priceless!

11:14 PM, August 08, 2006  
Anonymous Alison C said...

We have What not to Wear here in the UK too and this is one programme you can learn something from. But the rest?? Just makes me grateful. No matter how bad I think things are I can feel superior to most of the people who appear on these programmes. ;o)

3:11 AM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

Babs is right--it's educational! Just think of yourself as a student of human nature and keep buying the ass salve in buckets, baby! :)

7:33 AM, August 09, 2006  
Anonymous Angela said...

Oh just embrace the hideous tv watching gene! I completely identify with you. It's that same gene that compels me to set Season Passes for Laguna Beach, Flavor of Love, and OF COURSE What Not to Wear!

(And the shows have even infiltrated my personal life--I constantly refer to my sister as my own little Stacy London--she even makes all those rude little faces that somehow look CUTE on her!)

10:49 AM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger Babaloo said...

I think I have that gene too. Only mine is somehow deviated toward the worse the show the worse I get sucked in to it. i.e. The Flavor of Love, Celebrity Fit Club and what is up with those VH1 countdown shows? 100 top child stars, 100 practical jokes, 100 hottest rockstar girlfriends...and of course you have to keep watching until you see who is #1!

12:11 PM, August 09, 2006  
Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Ha! We're totally on the same wavelength with our posts. Too funny! I blame tivo for all of this addiction!

I LOVE the show 30 days by the way. Love it.

2:38 PM, August 09, 2006  

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