Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Newsflash: I am 2 old 4 u

It is official. Not only did I pass the "mid-thirties" point this week, but I have actual proof that I'm old (proof besides another mildly boring blog post, that is)

You see, there's a family member of mine who has a My Space account. And, so I visit it sometimes. This person does not blog, but they have lots of interesting visitors who leave comments. In addition, she has completely fabricated facts on her bio, and so it intrigues me. So, I check back to see if she's added any new lies, has gotten busted or called out on her lies or has had any funny visitors. What can I say? I am a habitual insominiac and this is how I kill the time in the wee morning hours.

So, without any disrespect to this person, I had to share this. Recently, someone left this message on her site.

If you were killed 2day, Im sorry I wouldnt B able 2 come 2 ur funeral cuz i'd b in Jail 4 killin da person who did it.. send diz 2 all ya ppl u care bout. First, I want you to know that I love you to death & you are amazing.. If I dont get this back I understand... I have a game for you. Once you read diz letr, you must send it to 14 ppl that you really care about, including the person that sent it to u. if u recieve at least 7 back then u r AMAZING

I'm sorry, but I don't get it. Can I have a translator? This is a language I do not recognize. One of my favorite bloggers with teen stepdaughters recently jokingly set up her own My Space site with this kind of text message lingo on it, and it was utterly hilarious.

But, given that I don't understand the trend to mangle the English language, NOR do I text message anyone (um, except the occasional American Idol vote), I am pretty sure I can now be labeled as "old and uncool." (In fact, using "uncool" even makes me more of that, doesn't it?)

Yep. I don't let my buttcrack hang out of my low-rise jeans (nor do I own any low-rise!) and I work Sudoku puzzles in the john. I'm pretty sure that means I'm one foot in the grave.

So, next year, I'll forgo the birthday cake and presents. Yeah, I'll just request that my husband dip my decrepit old body into some Milk of Magnesia and I'll call it a day.

But, in honor of this new generation of misspellers and street-talkers, I'll leave you with this:

doncha B wureed or send yur ppl after me...i B OK and u don't have 2 come after me. is aight. aight?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

U r2 re todded! Old fog-ee

9:24 PM, July 25, 2006  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

LOL!! I'm older than you 'cause I got my papers from AARP!! I'm not yet old enough for that, but they sent them to me anyway! Do they know something I don't??

6:42 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

Snort! My sister was teaching an 8th grade English class a few years ago (as a long-term sub for a teacher who was on maternity leave) and desperately wanted to do a unit on translating text into actual words. :)

7:18 AM, July 26, 2006  
Anonymous Angela said...

Happy Belated Birthday! Gosh, this gave me a giggle... I hate this "text message" english that is taking over the internet. Does it really take that long to type a couple more letters on the keyboard?? For example: "Wureed" vs. "Worried" It's a grand total of ONE LETTER shorter!! I don't get it!!

8:32 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger TC said...

That is funny!!!! My daughter texts like that and I hate it.

8:55 AM, July 26, 2006  
Blogger Babaloo said...

Ha Ha. Ur pretty good at that! Before text messaging there was pager code. Remember pager code? About 7 years ago my (non-tech savvy) neighbor confisgated her daughter's pager and asked me (one step up from non-tech savvy) to crack the code and translate all her messages. It was a hoot. I felt bad for her (the mom) though because some of the messages from guys were pretty nasty.

12:39 PM, July 26, 2006  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

I think? The internet? Is going to be the end of proper English as we know it. It's all too sad.

6:16 PM, July 27, 2006  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I can't even read these horrible messages. 4 is a number, not a word. Geez!

9:31 AM, July 28, 2006  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Ack! That stuff drives me nuts! Mostly, I just can't see how it's efficient at all. Reading that awful paragraph took me three times as long as it would had it been written in standard English. Sheesh.

My husband and I do text each other when one or the other of us is travelling. With the time difference, it can be too easy to call in the middle of a meeting, or in the middle of the night! A text message is efficient and less instrusive, we find. I can see using abbreviations when you're 'texting' someone from your phone and it can take three or even four strokes to make a single letter. But on a keyboard? It makes no sense.

3:39 PM, August 01, 2006  

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