Thursday, August 31, 2006

A Letter of Importance...

Dear PTO Presidents and Fundraising Chairpeople everywhere,

I am writing to you with a desperate plea. I know this letter may come too late for the plans you have already orchestrated for this year, but perhaps I can save us for next year. If I can save one parent, it will be worth this letter.

The beginning of the school year, we parents rejoice in the knowledge that our children will be educated and entertained for several hours out of the day outside of our presences. After a summer of sibling squabbles, those first few weeks of school are like an oasis in the desert that is parenthood. And, then it happens....

And, like childbirth, our brains have forgotten the worst of it--repressing away the memories from the previous year. We are hit by surprise at your...

FUNDRAISING HELL!!!

Every year, we are bombarded by the catalogs with ugly wrapping paper, annoying knick-knacks that you'd never buy any other time, and barely-scented candles. Why, oh why must you do this to us?

As parents, don't you KNOW that by the time school finally gets here, we are emotionally spent? Do we have to be financially spent as well?

This year, I'll get it from "both ends" with my daughter starting preschool too. (Fortunately, her school is doing a wonderful discount coupon book sale and I've already gotten orders from several friends since we are all coupon lovers. I can live with that. Take a hint--coupon books = GOOD...."country" themed knick-knacks = BAD...very BAD!)

And, my son's school has already started sending the warning notes to parents in the backpacks. Get ready! It's coming! Every day we get a new one. They're like Burma Shave billboards reminding us of the horror that is to come. As if we really are excited about selling really horrid wrapping paper every SINGLE year?

I realize that schools need money. But, can't you just cut to the chase with a note home asking for a check? Because, I think most parents would rather fork over some cash directly then have to call their family and friends ONE MORE TIME and ask them to order candles. You can only have so many candles people! I'm a candle lover and I say enough is enough! I can't put my family and neighbors through this anymore!

Even worse are the "incentives" (read mind-controlling games) planted in the brains of our youth. Sell $50 and you get a glow in the dark pencil. Oh, but, if you sell $300 well you get the plush rockstar bear. And, who wouldn't want that kids? Huh? Huh?

You are turning our youth into "tchotchke" loving telemarketers, and the insanity MUST STOP! It takes months for us to erase from their minds the damage you have bestowed upon them!!!

I'm sorry. I lost my composure there for a moment.

This is my formal request that you cease and desist the bombardment of all fundraising in the forms of candles, wrapping paper, bad holiday gifts and ornaments, cookie dough that never rises when you bake it, calorie-dense candy bars and coated popcorn, etc. (You get the picture.)

If you cannot respect this request and look into a fundraiser that lets parents buy something that is somewhat useful in our lives, then I will be forced to boycott all future fundraisers. And, when my kids have tantrums that they can't have the plush rockstar bear, well...I'm sending them to your house!

Thank you for your time,

Crazy MomCat

5 Comments:

Blogger Babaloo said...

HA! I could not agree with you more! I completely lost it last year when they did a (gasp) SPRING fundraiser too! IT'S. TOO. MUCH.

You should really send this letter (to every school district in the country). Seriously!

11:56 AM, August 31, 2006  
Blogger Cheynne03 said...

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN. I am so tired of asking people to buy things. I have a teenager in band and a 3rd grader and they are killing me after only 2 weeks of school. That does not include the concession stand work I will have to do during football season. ARGH!!!

12:37 PM, August 31, 2006  
Blogger Jen said...

When I was in middle school we sold magazine subscriptions(that wasn't that bad) and our incentive was to sell 15 and we'd get a limo ride to pizza hut for lunch one day! My mom always ended up with 3+ subscriptions just to catch me up so I'd get the reward. Now that I'm typing this maybe it wasn't that great!! OH NO!! Only 3 years before Hayden gets to kindergarten!! I DONT WANT TO DO FUNDRAISING!!

1:21 PM, August 31, 2006  
Blogger daysgoby said...

*clapping and cheering*

(The sad part? My reaction is based solely on the hordes of neighbors' children, because
mine aren't old enough. YET.

Last year the school sold plants, seeds, (separate sales) Christmas crap, dip mixes, scrapbooking stuff and fudge.
Help me.

5:47 PM, August 31, 2006  
Anonymous thismomblogs said...

I HATE fundraisers and the way the schools make it nearly impossible for us parents NOT to participate because you don't want your kid to the only one without the stupid spongebob toy! Sorry, that was a long sentence! :D

6:04 PM, September 01, 2006  

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