Wednesday, August 16, 2006

MomCat 0, DaddyCat 100,000,000,000,000,000...

Remember this post a few days back where I questioned what on earth to get my husband for our 14th wedding anniversary?

Looks like I should have taken some of your great suggestions or at least shot for something bigger than the too-embarrassing-to-mention, semi gag-gift to spice up your love life thing that I got him. (That sounds way nastier than it was actually, but I'll leave you to wonder, 'cause I'm kind of devilish like that.)

Today, was pleasant enough. I forced my sleepy body out of the bed while my husband was in the shower to make a quick batch of Pillsbury Orange Rolls to surprise him. You know, because nothing really says I love you liked processed crap in a can with fake orange flavoring and sugar on it in the morning. Right?

He actually did appreciate it and headed to work. The plan was for us to meet for dinner at a Japanese steakhouse with the kids. It is the night before the first day of school, and we decided in advance that we'd wait to have a real anniversary date until this weekend when there's more time.

Dinner was great and we came home. That's when he walks in with an arm full of gorgeous multicolored roses and a card. Nice touch, I thought to myself. Bonus points for you, DaddyCat.

Then, I open the card. And, that's when my body morphed into its true being, that of a gigantic asshole perched on a barstool in my kitchen.

Why did I morph into a butt particle, you might ask?

Well, that would be because my husband wrote me the most wonderfully sincere poem (the man usually has trouble writing even thank you notes) AND then informed me in the card that I was to have my bags packed Friday afternoon for a 2-day mystery date without the kids. No questions asked, just be ready to go and spend time just being a couple again and leave the worries and the rugrats behind.

Speaking of behinds, did I mention that I'm an enormous one?

This is about the time when I started stammering and muttering something about not being ready with his anniversary gift because I thought it was this weekend and well I did get something but it was kind of a joke and uh...oh, excuse me but I think my entire head just turned into a giant anus.

So, half-laughing, I give him the lamest of lame gift from me, and tell him the rest of it is coming this weekend. Then, he outdoes himself by telling me to get nothing else, that this surprise trip is as much for him as it is for me and he doesn't want anything.

Homeboy is going to get a damn good Christmas present this year, that's all I can say!

Daddycat, if you read this, just know that even if your mystery date surprise is a trip to the Sonic a mile down the road, I will still be in heaven because you took such time to plan this out and do something special for me. I love you, and I'll try to morph back out of my buttlike state before our trip. Because, unless you've got a J-Lo attached to the top of that gigantic arse, it's not a very romantic thing to kiss and hug on, now is it?


Blogger Vanessa said...

Wow, what a prince your hubby is! Congratulations on your anniversary and I hope you have a wonderful time getting away with him this weekend!

7:26 AM, August 16, 2006  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

You have one very special Mr. there! Don't sweat the small stuff. Morph back into yourself and have fun!

8:22 AM, August 16, 2006  
Anonymous Nicole said...

It isn't a competition, it's a relationship!

Let him spoil you - you deserve it!

(And I can think of a few ways you might *cough cough* reward him)

9:18 AM, August 16, 2006  
Anonymous Angela said...

Oh my gosh, I'm so curious! What a sweet, thoughtful surprise from the hubby :)

Happy anniversary, and I hope you guys have an AMAZING time!!!

9:21 AM, August 16, 2006  
Blogger Babaloo said...

That sounds sooooooo romantic. And so mysterious... Just buy something "enticing" to slip into after dinner and I'm sure that will beat any other gift you can give him! Hope you have a great time!

9:49 AM, August 16, 2006  
Blogger Babs said...

oooh, I feel your pain. Being a writer, you'd think we'd be the ones coming up with awesome poetry for birthdays and holidays. But nope, never happened... not even once!

sounds like a great weekend. Congrats!

2:35 PM, August 16, 2006  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

Happy anniversary & enjoy it, butt-lady, 'cuz that would probably be the best gift you could give him.

4:10 PM, August 16, 2006  
Anonymous Jennifer said... heart just melted on your behalf, I think!! What a guy. I vote "keep". :-)

Happy Anniversary!

7:10 PM, August 16, 2006  
Blogger Dipu said...

He's good at surprising you with secret plans like that...

11:33 PM, August 16, 2006  
Anonymous andrew said...

"Butt particle." LOL. I'm going to start using that term.

10:24 PM, August 17, 2006  

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