Where's Rockwell when you need him?

I have a knack for knowing completely meaningless pop trivia. Give me an obscure, 1-hit wonder singer from the 80s, and I can tell you all about him or her.

For example, does anyone remember the one and only song by the son of Motown mogul Berry Gordy, known as "Rockwell?" It was called "Somebody's Watching Me" and a lot of people thought it was a Michael Jackson song because he sang most of the chorus of the song. (Click here to watch the video on YouTube!)

That song has been in my head for the last few days. The track should be playing on a loop as I go through my every day. Let me explain why...

A long time ago, I wrote about an arch-enemy I had developed after I discovered a neighbor and supposed close friend was smearing both my and my son's names around the neighborhood, spreading false rumors and generally talking very ugly about us behind our backs, and oh so sweetly to our faces.

It was a very difficult ordeal that took me a long time to get over. First, I completely cut the woman off, then after a lot of thought and prayer, I learned to forgive the person and we have actually become "friendly" again. I will never fully trust her, but our kids are good friends and I have learned to coexist with her on my street.

Except for one problem...she's always watching me. It started back when we had the conflict. I'd return home and find her calling the minute I walked in the door, apparently she knew I'd just returned. Or, I'd walk down the street to see her little eyes peering out of her windows at me.

I thought she'd stopped for awhile. Then, as I had friends over, I would be told of how they were "jumped" by her and questioned. As a mutual friend of ours arrived once, she told me the neighbor practically jumped in front of her car and the proceeded to hit her with 50 questions as to what we were doing that evening.

During the whole conflict and the time I had closed off completely to her, it made sense. But, now, I don't get it. I share with her what we have going on, and it still happens.

The other night, I had a scrapbooking party. When I opened the door, I was greeted by my friend with the most puzzled look painted upon her face. "Oh, no." I said, "What did she do now? Did you get jumped again?" As it turned out, as my friend drove past the neighbor's house, she happened to glance over and saw my neighbor sitting inside her house about halfway up her stairs with her toddler, intently watching who was pulling up to my house that evening. She said it was so blatantly obvious what the neighbor was doing, she almost waved at her and laughed. I keep getting the mental picture of the nosy old neighbor on Bewitched, who would watch Samantha's house with binoculars reporting to her husband the crazy things she saw going on inside.

The only thing is, I'm not a witch and my life is pretty darn predictable and ordinary. So, why the interest, I ask?

A few days ago, her kids were over to play. I noticed after awhile that she'd decided to set up a chair in her driveway directly across and facing our house,so she could keep an eye on things here. Then, today, they were here playing again and she kept making trips over to ask them bizarre and unimportant questions in the middle of the kids playing. "Did you want to eat in the cafeteria tomorrow or did you want me to make lunch?" It was 3 p.m. on a Sunday when she had to rush over to ask them that?

It all perplexes me. I am not usually the object of such attention. I'm just an ordinary person...nothing special about me. I'm not a gorgeously beautiful face or a flawless figure, I'm not extraordinary talented in song and dance, I don't really have anything that makes me stand out in a crowd. In fact, sometimes I feel like I'm easily forgotten by friends and acquaintances. But, not this one...oh, no...this is way different.

All of this used to bother me. I honestly had nightmares during our problems about her coming around the corner of my garage and attacking me. (There were enough other unstable behaviors to make me worry that this woman might go postal on me.) Now, I find it more humorous than anything. But, still...when I'm going to the grocery, or having friends over for dinner or working in my yard...

I always feel that somebody's watchin' me,
And I have no privacy.
I always feel that somebody's watchin' me,
Tell me is it just a dream

I don't know anymore,
Are the neighbors watching me,
Well is the mailman watching me,
And I don't feel safe anymore,
Oh what a mess!
I wonder who's watching me now?
Who?
The IRS?