Thursday, June 26, 2008

A prayer to the appliance gods...(UPDATED)

Oh god of all things household and electrical,

I humbly beseech you to hear my truth. Two days before my 20-year high school reunion, with a full 3-4 loads of laundry in the cue, our 2-year-old washing machine went on strike. This was almost three weeks ago.

Oh heavenly guider of spin cycles, so to assist me with my laundry grace, please recognize the strain that a loss of such a fixture can be to a family.

Mr. Fix-it Husband found the secret instruction book hidden inside the machine for clueless repairmen and went to work. After much research and investigation, he opted to not pay the $300 for our appliance distributor to come out and instead ordered the part himself on Ebay. Oh, Ebay....the giver and the taker away. Ebay was not our friend as it took a week and a half for the part to finally arrive. Ebay toyed with our fragile minds once again...

After several Woolite sessions in my bathroom sink and two trips to the in-laws to take care of essentials, our part finally arrived yesterday, much to our jubilation.

Joy turned into supreme frustration when the new part did nothing to cure our washing woes. Were you laughing at us from your appliance warehouse in the sky? Although he was certain he knew what the real problem was this time, my husband bowed defeat and called the repairman.

Forgiveth us for our trespasses in trying to take repairs into our own hands and for the fib we were forced to tell with the repairman who would not have worked on our machine had he known we were the ones who tried to fix it.

My agitation is higher than my washload can handle, oh great one. Most merciful gods of modern technology, I strive to be a low maintenance gal. But, I admit I complain regularly about how the laundry and cleaning never ends and how much I despise it so. Lo, after three weeks of no washing machine, I am certain that I am just as Harry from that great 80's class movie says of Sally, I am "high maintenance, but think I am low maintenance." Yes, I am the worst kind.

I'll admit it. I can't handle any more scouring the bottom of my drawer for one more gym sock. I cannot wear any other old pairs of high-waisted "mommy" shorts that have been out of style for a good 5 years (or more). I am at my wit's end. My kids have gone mismatched for long enough and this must STOP! I must have my washer back and I must have it TODAY!

I implore you, oh supreme one, as I humbly confess my sins against laundry in thought word and deed. By what I have washed sloppily, and by what I have left unwashed. Please help us, laundry one, you are our only hope. My workout shorts and my son's basketball jersey cannot survive on Woolite rinses alone.

Your humble-and-newfound-washing-machine-appreciator and servant,


P.S. My humble apologies to any Episcopalians out there for the sacrilegious use of worship text..and the bad movie lines intertwined!
UPDATE: Oh, appliance torturer, you are definitely laughing at us, aren't you? Our washer is not fixed today. No. In fact, our washer is officially "toast" unless we cough up $300 for a new computer board for it. Instead, we just bought a new one, but unfortunately it will not be delivered until...(dramatic pause)
...SUNDAY! But, we have learned from our mistakes, most merciless washing idol. Our new one has only dials and no electronic bells and whistles. Let's see you mess with THAT! (I kid. Please do not wipe out our dryer with a lightning bolt or something now.)
Now, excuse me while I go inventory underwear and socks to see if we can make it until the reinforcement arrives on Sunday...



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well you could try going to a ...dramatic pause....laundromat.

6:18 AM, June 27, 2008  
Blogger Crazy MomCat said...

Obviously, "anonymous" doesn't live in the same area in which I live. The only "laundrOmats" are in bad sections of town, or in the inner city, many miles from where we are. I would waste more gas going to find one of those, and be sitting with my kids for hours in a scary part of town.

Sorry, anonymous...this isn't NYC and that's not worth it to me. I'd rather look at laundry mountains and pilfer old clothes for a few more days...and whine on my blog about it!

10:53 AM, June 27, 2008  
Anonymous Wickedly Scarlett said...

Ugh, I don't even want to THINK about life without my washing machine!! I'm so sorry yours has failed you once again, and now I'm thinking twice about that fancy scmancy new washer I've been eyeing...

2:15 PM, June 27, 2008  
Blogger kristi said...

yeah, I was going to suggest the laundromat thing too!

11:22 AM, June 30, 2008  
Blogger kristi said...

Oh, oops, I just read your reply! Sorry!!

11:23 AM, June 30, 2008  

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