Rita Ramblings

As I sit here, I don't even know if I can gather my thoughts enough to make this coherent. My mind is spinning. It is hard to believe that we are now looking at a possible Category 4 hurricane hitting our area just so soon after Katrina. Here are some questions running through my mind:

• Should I take the kids and leave for my folks Thursday, as my husband has requested? (My parents live in North Texas, far from the path of the storms.)
• If I leave, what if my husband gets stranded or needs us? Could I live with myself for leaving?
• But, if I don't leave and something scary were to happen, would I ever forgive myself for traumatizing or putting my kids well-being at risk?
• Will my elderly in-laws be OK? My father-in-law is NOT well right now.
• What about THE POOR PEOPLE FROM LOUISIANA? I've heard now they're transporting them to Arkansas and Nebraska. I have to say, I would really start to wonder about what the big guy had against me if I were from Louisiana right now.
• What about our city? We have given out so much to help the people from Louisiana, will we be able to help ourselves should the same happen here?
• If we can help ourselves, will anyone else be able to help us after donating so much to help there?
• Am I selfish for thinking things like this?
• I do have a selfish question--why did this have to happen on the weekend of my scrapbooking retreat? Why...oh why?
• Now a tacky one--why does my sister insist on acting like she has a direct line to the National Weather Service, cluing me in to "things that haven't been released to the public yet, " when in fact she tells me what I just heard on the local news?
• Will I be able to scrapbook at my parents? (selfish, selfish...)
• How much dust, smoke, and pet hair will my family inhale if we stay with my parents for more than our usual 2 days? (If you know me, you'll know this is a sensitive subject. My parents have 4 cats, smoke heavily and never clean. This WAS my trauma of childhood.)
• How soon until we can come back?
• Will my son be penalized if I pull him from school Friday to leave? He's already missed 3 days last week with that nasty stomach virus.
• What if I can't reach my husband for many days? How will I explain to my son that his Dad is OK if I don't know that he is?
• What if something happens and he (or my loved ones) are NOT OK?
• Did I buy enough water and canned foods, batteries, etc., for my husband?
• Am I being too dramatic way too early for this kind of questioning?

OK. There you go. The biggest bulleted list I have probably ever created. And, that is pretty impressive folks, because I'm a technical writer by profession and we just LUV us some of dem' bullets!