Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Down with The Little People!

Date: January 3, 2006
To: All relatives, friends, and able-bodied gift-purchasers
From: Crazy MomCat
Subject: Little People Ban

The Crazy MomCat household has declared a complete ban on any and all things being or related to the empire that is Fisher Price's Little People. A special force-field has been installed in our home thereby preventing any of these "people" and their various vehicles and establishments from entering said residence. Should any Aunt, Grandparent, or family friend try to sneak in a "people" gift, piercing alarms will sound and the MomCat home will promptly spit them out like a foul swig of sour milk.

'Lest you think that I may be making a really politically incorrect tirade against real people who are born smaller in stature, let me clarify by showing you an example of the "little people" to which this memo refers.

Angelic, aren't they? Happy and friendly, almost to the point you trust them. You might want to hold them and sing a little song or go randomly hug a neighbor. Do NOT fall for this!

The evidence is clear--there is more to these little plastic bits of toy than meets the eye. Our highly-trained team of scientists has found proof that these "people" are in fact forms of highly intelligent life, possessing the ability to clone themselves during the night. Witness, Exhibit A:

Little People are quite clever in their methods for seducing mothers and fathers, and are not above forming themselves into religious figures, having even taken the form of Baby Jesus in our home (Exhibit B). They have no moral limits to their manipulation and deception.

Further evidence will show that MomCat's house was already full of these adorably cute little people and their pets before this influx. It will also show that MomCat specifically requested on Miss Kitty's Christmas list to NOT receive these or a Dora doll (because MomCat had already purchased one) for her daughter.

The Aunt-Who-Sometimes-Acteth-Like-an-Overbearing-Mother-in-Law chose to disregard this direct request, instead purchasing Bathtime Dora AND the Little People House. Here's a shot of the house, which these authorities will acknowledge as "too cute for words."

This abomination MUST stop! The more "people" who are allowed to enter this residence, the more powerful the group becomes. MomCat and her family will have to start removing real furniture to make room for this Little People invasion. Exhibit C shows the new line-up of Little People dwellings and retail establishments. Zoning ordinances strictly prohibit this many buildings being located in the child's sleeping/playing zone.


Finally, Exhibit D showcases MomCat's pathetic attempts at organizing and containing these plastic persons and their equipment. MomCat is clearly not equipped to handle the influx of clutter than has infested her home. The Little People know this. It is all a part of their plan to make the MomCat slowly go mad, whereby they can then take over the home completely. Her resistance is utterly futile.
This document requests that any future planned donations or gifts of Little People be cancelled at this time. Any future attempts to accessorize or complete the collection will result in hefty fines, including lots of free babysitting sleep-overs. Cease and desist or face the harsh consequences. You know not the evil that you are spawning.

Signed,
The MomCat Zoning Committee

15 Comments:

Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

*Giggle*

Well, you asked for it. I am obsessed with Little People. I bought the ark at a consignment sale for $7 when Baby was 6 months old. 14 months later, she STILL plays with it EVERY DAY!!

For Christmas, she got the Little People barn (found with all its accessories for $23 at the same consignment sale the next year). She LOVES it.

But here's the deal- I was planning on getting her the doll house soon... I had a gift certificate at Toys R Us and bought all the accessories that go with it- the garden house and swing and tea party and a bunch of other doll house things. Then she got a different doll house from her grandparents- So I'm no longer buying the Fisher Price dollhouse. My point is that if you have another little-used Little People set that you'd like to trade to complete the dollhouse, we could work something out! Because I feel like my dollhouse accessories are a little random without the main set.

Fuel to your Little People fire, I know. As I said, I'm LP-obsessed!

9:17 AM, January 03, 2006  
Blogger Lisa said...

Gah. Good luck with that. My kids missed that bandwagon, but the little buggers look downright evil.

12:07 PM, January 03, 2006  
Anonymous The Cryer said...

For a second there I thought you had snuck into my house and taken those photos! What's worse than the infestation? Stepping on those little buggers hurts like crazy.

Good luck with controlling the incoming gifts from relatives! If it works I might have to try a zoning committee letter myself!!

12:13 PM, January 03, 2006  
Blogger Moonface said...

The invasion has begun at our place too, but they havent (yet) managed to (completely) overthrow the current regime and create total anarchy. Fingers crossed!

1:31 PM, January 03, 2006  
Anonymous Sentimental (Shannon) said...

Dang Girl you do you have the Little People Empire all in your house I am impressed. I was quite honked to find out they change them so often. Daughter # 1 had little people every thing and now daughter # 2 is here and well they are different. So we are forgoing this round. I should have managed to keep track of them but well I accept I am horrible pack rat and if I step on it and can't find it's immediate home, it goes into garbage. GIGGLES.

Loved it!

1:33 PM, January 03, 2006  
Anonymous Angela said...

Hee... on my way to FisherPrice.com... ;)

3:36 PM, January 03, 2006  
Blogger Vanessa said...

Gawd! They're everywhere! I'm really enjoying this post - must go back and read it again!

7:23 PM, January 03, 2006  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Noah's wife lives in my back seat, where smallgirl can chew on her now and then. Last night I found three sheep and a policemen in the dryer, and there are two assorted dogs and a little girl with braids in the bathtub right now.

Gahhhh - and this is going to get worse???

7:28 PM, January 03, 2006  
Blogger Lisabell said...

I have to admit, I'm guilty of bestowing little people upon my nephews and other random children... but it's because I grew up on them (remember they used to be wooden???) and I swear to this day they really contributed to and fueled my imagination. However, I totally understand the out-of-control-ness of them -- I have a feeling my sister feels JUST the same as you do :) Cute post!

12:23 AM, January 04, 2006  
Anonymous Theresa said...

*snort* I love the Little People. *ducks*

8:16 AM, January 04, 2006  
Blogger Tyra said...

LOL!! That's how I'm feeling about Polly Pockets right about now. My youngest daughter has so many with all their little accessories, she never misses the few I suck up in the vacuum weekly, lol.

8:22 AM, January 04, 2006  
Anonymous Vicki said...

lolol - I remember those days! I think we may even have some still tucked away here somewhere.

With the boys it was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all their little weapons. EEEKKK, it's land of a thousand pieces.

1:41 PM, January 04, 2006  
Blogger NinaKaye said...

(saw you comment about this at shenuts, had to see it)
I have struggled with the little people for many years. And I've almost won the battle.

7:37 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Beth said...

LOL..thanks for the laugh!!

2:21 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Dipu said...

Man, Little People sure have changed from when I was a kid! They didn't have arms or anything back then!

Sigh. I'm getting old...

2:23 PM, January 10, 2006  

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