Family Date Night

Recently, I had the idea to write about finding the perfect playdate. For those of you who are not parents, or have not reached the era of playdates, this may sound like a simple task. But, oh, it is not easy my friends. Playdates can take all sorts of turns with the wrong mix of kids. Personally, I try to prescribe to the one-kid-at-a-time playdate, if we can help it, unless we can be outside or at a park.

So, finding the right kid that meshes with yours is a delicate balance. My son is very easy going and gets along well with most everyone. However, he HAS had more than one playdate from hell where the invitee acts like a total brat, bosses him around or doesn't share, tattles on him for breathing, does sneaky-ass stuff, instigates trouble, cries and whines, etc. He's also had the "needy" playdate, who came to me every 5 minutes asking me questions, needing my help to set something up, etc. All of these kinds of playdates are high-maintenance playdates you want to avoid them at ALL COSTS! You will end up more exhausted than when you have to entertain your kid by yourself. And, hello? Every Mom KNOWS the playdate is all about two Moms getting some free time while their kids play happily, right? (Or is this some big Mom secret we aren't supposed to talk about?)

No, the perfect playdate is one where the two kids literally jump for joy when they see one another. They may not have the same exact interests, but both will play at each other's games happily and then switch to please the other one mid-way into the afternoon. Perfect playdates are sent from heaven, my friends. Add to that a daughter who takes a nap during this time, and you're talking feet on the coffee table and a little help from Oprah to "find your spirit." This rarely happens, but when it does I sure relish it.

Well, tonight I was thinking about this. Good couple friend dates are not that different from kids playdates. Before we had kids, it might have been easier to go out with friends, but that doesn't mean we didn't have our share of misses. The couples who always cancel, show up late, act weird at check time, try to "compete" and one-up you the whole night, etc. Now, add kids to the mix, and in essence you have to have the perfect couple date AND the perfect playdate all in one. And, how impossible is that, I ask you?

We have some fun friends who live near us that we'd would have a blast with anytime. However, our sons, I am quite certain, might strangle one another by the end of the evening. Then, there's the issue of not meshing with a spouse or a spouse not caring for you. This is huge. This happens often, and it just makes you sad when it does. I have been on all ends of this one. There's a whole slew of variables that have to really be there for the "family date" to work.

Tonight, we had such a night. The stars were all in alignment and we had a great time. Husbands--both into classic cars and high tech--check! My friend and I both have the same interests and are both doing Weight Watchers right now so there was a lot to talk about there--check! Kids of the same age--check! Kids who GET ALONG of the same age--big CHECK!

In short, it was lovely. It was the kind of evening you think, why don't we do this more often? And, hopefully our friends had just as good of a time and we will be able to do it more often. Because you have to go through a lot of misses to get a hit family date night. And when you do, it is truly worth its weight in gold!