Sunday, May 13, 2007

With a little bit of pixie dust....

There's another big red mark against me on my permanent parenting record this week. And, I fear that I'm dangerously close to being in trouble with the parenting police. Tonight, is my last chance to make it right.

Let me back-track a bit...

My son is losing his teeth faster than we can keep count right now. In the past month, he has now lost three and is trying to loosen a fourth. The third tooth, I swear he pulled on purpose at school all so he could get the little plastic green tooth treasure chest that his teacher gives if you lose a tooth while at school.

But, I digress. This is not his first "round" of teeth. He has already lost the four front teeth--the grand poobah teeth in the world of elementary tooth shedders. Those are the really big-deal teeth, because they are the first time you get the visit from the infamous Tooth Fairy.

Now, in my house, we do not make a big deal about the Easter bunny. My parents never did, and so we've always just done an Easter basket from us and not really talked much about the Easter bunny. Sure, Aunts and Uncles have planted that seed, but my son has never really bought into it very much, I don't think. I have friends who have woven entire novels about the Easter Bunny and how he delivers the eggs and goodies.

Between you and me, I thank my lucky stars every day that Santa is still real and I cross my fingers that the Tooth Fairy continues on at least for a few more incisors. Because the world is a cruel place, my friends. And, all it takes is one little whisper from that same obnoxious little classmate who teaches your kid things like "the finger" and which cuss words are the best, and both of those dear childhood heroes are vaporized into a cloud of smoke right before your eyes. And, my son is finishing up the first grade with a huge batch of friends in the second grade. We are really just counting the days until "poof" and it is all over. (sigh)

So, for those who haven't had to do it, this Tooth Fairy business is tricky stuff, especially on the weary mind of two parents late at night. But, it doesn't help when you're on tooth number seven and you forget to leave the fairy treat or pick up the tooth! Wait, let me add to that...


Yes, I can see you all shaking your heads in disbelief and shame at me right now. Tsk, tsk... No, MomCat! Say it isn't so!!!

In my defense, my child forgot to put his tooth under his pillow for two days in a row too. But, then when he finally remembered, my husband and I completely forgot to complete the tooth transaction. And, imagine how our hearts sank when he came downstairs disappointed and announced, "I think the tooth fairy doesn't work on the weekends, Mom." Why, if you could have taken a meat cleaver and clubbed me over the head right then and there, I would have told you it wasn't hard enough and to do it all over again. And, while you were at it, why not grate my fingers with that cheese grater over there at the same time.

Then, the next night it was a repeat. We'd had a late night out of seafood on our favorite touristy pier over an hour away, and got home an hour past bedtime for the kids. I didn't even realize he'd remembered to grab his tooth and put it under his pillow. It wasn't until the next morning when I saw it on our end table, that I knew I had failed again. Sigh.

"I'm pretty sure the Tooth Fairy is on vacation," I said, confidently. "I mean, don't you think she needs a rest every now and then? Imagine how many teeth she has to pick up each night all around the world!" And, the lies continued on until I just about had him convinced...I think.

So, tonight it is time for serious damage control. Especially when my husband shared with me that our son had quite frankly informed him as he tucked himself into bed, "Dad, if the Tooth Fairy doesn't come tonight, I THINK I'm going to have to leave her a letter."

So, a fairy letter was typed and formatted in the fanciest scrawl that I could find. The fairy explained that she was so very sorry she'd not picked up his tooth the past two nights. Why, she'd had the worst case of the "fairy flu!" And, special glitter glue from my scrapbooking supplies tipped the edges of the torn paper just to make it look more authentic. Finally, in a fine moment of forgery (how's the for alliteration?), my right hand took on the role of her majesty, Role Highness of Choppers, as I scribbled her signature, wishing to great goodness that it didn't look anything like my own. I dropped in our coins and motherly guilt saw me adding one dollar greenback, just to make up for it all.

Now, I am off to keep the fantasy alive. And, I'm hoping like hell that he doesn't wake up as I'm in there as I trying to make the swap. And, trust me, that's not so easy when your son sleeps 6-foot up on a platform bed. But, I must succeed tonight. After all, Tooth Fairies don't last forever and I've got serious parenting points to make up now!

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Blogger sophie said...

Oh no! You sound more upset than he was! I'm sure it won't do permanent damage.

4:02 PM, May 15, 2007  
Anonymous Angela said...

Awww, it sounds like you did a great job of saving the fantasy though! I remember when I was a kid the tooth fairy left us a note and apparently her name is Shasta and she has handwriting that is remarkably similar to my father and Santa Claus!

11:55 PM, May 20, 2007  

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