Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Sale on Pearly Whites Down at “the Gap”

OK, so if you know me, you will know that I've been rather tooth-obsessed lately. With my 11-month-old's coming in and my almost 6-year-old's falling out, it has been the focus 'round these parts. Well, I decided to jump on the bandwagon and further annoy my blog readers with another tooth post.

For more than five years, I have wanted to get my teeth whitened. It isn't that I hate my teeth. They're straight, have few cavities, and have been pretty darn good choppers, functionally speaking. However, they have always been a point of sensitivity for me, dating back to my teen years.

Back then, I obsessed about the big gap between my front two teeth, which I proclaimed was as wide as David Letterman's. (Seriously, when I was a little kid, you could have fit a whole other tooth in there!) My Mother, trying to make me feel better, would tell me that leaders and great beauties of the world all have a gap between their teeth. Look at Lauren Hutton! How about Madonna? But, even the material girl comparison didn't make me feel better when the cutest-of-the-hunky-cute senior boys started teasing me my freshman year. Yes, it was cool to be noticed by the older boys, but to be teased about "the gap" was just mortifying--even if they were being more silly than cruel. (And, my Mom would reassuringly say, "You know they are flirting with you, Stephanie. They don't mean to hurt your feelings. They tease you because they like you." Sigh--uh, yeah, RIGHT, Mom. Well, either way it still bugged me a lot!

So, as I grew up, "the gap" did get a little smaller, but never closed completely. My senior year, I had forms made and got information on getting braces. But, when I saw the cost and how long it would take to get them off, I just couldn't justify it. How could I have my parents pay for something that expensive when "the gap" was my only dental problem? My bite was perfect and the only reason to do it would be for cosmetic purposes. I ended up deciding against it.

So, throughout college and my early adult years, I tried to accept "the gap." Make it my friend. And, I am happy to say that now, I live peacefully with the space between my two front teeth."The gap" teeth and I have an understanding. They don't get cavities or go "crooked" on me, and I live with the space. Lauren Hutton would be proud.

However, for the past ten years or so, my obsession has shifted from "the gap" to something else. (You knew this neurotic gal wouldn't just end the story with that didn't you?) That obsession is on the fact that my teeth resemble the color of kernel corn. This is no exaggeration. It is hereditary, like those damn childbirth stretch marks. Darn the luck!


But, worse than that, the corners and edges of certain teeth, are the pearliest of pearly white. This only further emphasizes how yellow the rest of my teeth are, and is a cruel reminder of their cornlike hue. It has gotten to the point that I have started to avoid getting my picture taken in certain colors, like yellow and cream, because of the "maize effect." If you don't believe this, witness Exhibit A:


Evidence of the "Maize Effect" Posted by Hello

Ok, so long story longer--I had the whitening done. I had the ZOOM! technique they advertise on that disgusting-but-you-still watch show, Extreme Makeover. It's basically peroxide under a bright light for an hour. So, an hour later and several hundred poorer, I was a little unhappy with the results at first.


You see, it made the teeth whiter by five shades--everywhere. Yes, now the "snowy white peaks" on my teeth are absolute albino-esque white. True, the yellow places were lightened. But, they are not totally white, and the tips are VERY white. But, my smile is brighter. I can't decide if it was worth it. The dentist says it will even out more with time and more at-home bleaching.

When Jimmy saw it, he thought it really looked good. The jury is still out for me. So, I'm posting this after photo, which is brave considering how very unflattering it is! Compare it to the yellow teeth one. What do you think? Kernel corn? Or, has it graduated to the rankings of say, canned hominy?


Steph--Bad Picture, but Whiter Teeth!
Posted by Hello

3 Comments:

Blogger Babs said...

I LOVE them! (and I think the picture is cute too)

Now you'll really be able to flash those pearly whites when you race across the finish line. :)

3:20 PM, March 08, 2005  
Blogger Tom said...

Just did a google search and ran accross your site. I am out looking for and information regarding stretch marks and how to get rid of them. Nice Site.
rid of stretch marks

9:32 PM, December 29, 2005  
Anonymous Tooth Whitening said...

massachusetts cosmetic dentistry is something I wouldn't mind hearing more about.Chiao, Dayle massachusetts cosmetic dentistry

9:21 PM, January 10, 2006  

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