Just breathe...
I have stumbled across this new singer that I'm hopeful has a lot of potential to be a favorite of mine. I kept hearing this song on in my car periodically, and I just loved it. Her name is Anna Nalick and she's only 20 years old. But, she has a raspy voice that kind of is a mix between the folksy sound of Jewel and the angst that IS Fiona Apple. (I discovered the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard before a few years ago too. Eva Cassidy's Songbird is an amazing album. It's just so tragic that she lost her life to cancer before she saw it become so beloved.)
The song is called Breathe and it's all over the place in terms of stories in the lyrics, but one particular line struck me:
My friend Lisa and I were chatting the other day about this whole blog thing. How it has kind of infected our lives. I mean, for years I knew I loved to write. I kept journals here and there. I took a creative writing class and enjoyed it. But, this regular writing online for others to see, it's really does put you out there sometimes, where you DO feel naked in front of the crowd.
But, I cannot imagine not writing now. So many times I have read one of my blogging heroines write about possible closing down their site from all the nasty feedback or stress they get about it from family and friends. And, every time, they have come back and in the end said they just can't stop. And, that's how I feel now. As Lisa said, "We are writers, Steph. It's just like breathing to us."
And, like the song, this blog really is like my personal diary screaming out loud at times. And that makes me quite vulnerable the more people read and comment on it. And that's a little scary when you are talking from the heart. But, all I know is, many a time it is the wee hours of the morning and I have something screaming inside my head that must come out. I sit down and write it out frantically. Usually, on nights like that I go back to bed and get up and read it later only to find that I don't even remember all of what I had written or how I had phrased it. It's like I'm in a trance and I am not free until I get it out. And, then it is there, on the page for you to read, and I am done with it.
And there is no better therapy than that, my friends. I walk away and feel that huge weight off my shoulders of having finally expressed something I have long felt. And in situations like that, a part of me feels anxious as to what people will think of my story. But, a very big part of me doesn't care either. It was just another step in my life, another breath that had to be taken and then let out for all to see.
The song is called Breathe and it's all over the place in terms of stories in the lyrics, but one particular line struck me:
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to...
My friend Lisa and I were chatting the other day about this whole blog thing. How it has kind of infected our lives. I mean, for years I knew I loved to write. I kept journals here and there. I took a creative writing class and enjoyed it. But, this regular writing online for others to see, it's really does put you out there sometimes, where you DO feel naked in front of the crowd.
But, I cannot imagine not writing now. So many times I have read one of my blogging heroines write about possible closing down their site from all the nasty feedback or stress they get about it from family and friends. And, every time, they have come back and in the end said they just can't stop. And, that's how I feel now. As Lisa said, "We are writers, Steph. It's just like breathing to us."
And, like the song, this blog really is like my personal diary screaming out loud at times. And that makes me quite vulnerable the more people read and comment on it. And that's a little scary when you are talking from the heart. But, all I know is, many a time it is the wee hours of the morning and I have something screaming inside my head that must come out. I sit down and write it out frantically. Usually, on nights like that I go back to bed and get up and read it later only to find that I don't even remember all of what I had written or how I had phrased it. It's like I'm in a trance and I am not free until I get it out. And, then it is there, on the page for you to read, and I am done with it.
And there is no better therapy than that, my friends. I walk away and feel that huge weight off my shoulders of having finally expressed something I have long felt. And in situations like that, a part of me feels anxious as to what people will think of my story. But, a very big part of me doesn't care either. It was just another step in my life, another breath that had to be taken and then let out for all to see.
Just breathe, Steph....just breathe...
posted by Crazy MomCat @ 1:52 AM
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