After Five or to the Nines?

OK, I have a small beef to unload today. Why is it, whenever a company has a holiday party, they have to make the dress expected as CRYPTIC as possible for the women attending? My husband just sent me his company party and the attire is "Holiday Festive." What the @#$% is THAT? In parenthesis, they nicely included for the men, "No tuxedo required, but try to dust off the dress slacks if you can!"

Well, isn't that sweet of them to let the guys know that? But, does that give me any IOTA of confidence that every woman there won't be dressed in a floor length sequined gown and heels? HELL NO!

I have had this with almost every company party I have ever been too, aside from the best holiday party at my first company in Austin (more on that in a moment). The worst was a party for my company in Plano several years ago where the boss's wife decided to pick the theme as "Apre Ski." Apparently, after much discussion and scrambling, this meant everyone needed to wear trendy little ski outfits with fur-lined collars and cute boots. Why? Well, because boss-man's wife wanted a reason to wear her cute ski clothes, of course! The rest of us were left to frantically put something together. I love to ski but go for the more practical attire when I'm on the slopes. This is a because 1>I hate to fall and get wet and 2> I DO fall a lot and get wet. So, I'd much rather look like the Michelin Man and stay dry and well padded, than go with the designer looks as I ramble down the slopes!

So, I have no clue what I will wear to this thing. It is my husband's new/old company. He worked for them in a different city several years ago. There, the Xmas party was always full of women in luxurious gowns, while I showed up in the most flattering black velvety (tacky Xmas) dress that I thought I could jazz up with some jewelry. Let's hope this night is NOT a repeat!

And, on to that great Xmas party from company's past. My first "real" job in Austin was for a software company that was as well known for its' rooftop keg parties every Friday as it was for it's low pay. My department was the worst of the lot. After all, half the company didn't even KNOW what technical writers did and the rest of the company didn't understand why we were really that needed when those tech-head developers could always whip out some quick documentation for the product, right? (If you have ever read the Dilbert comic strip, you might think that I sound like Tina the Brittle Technical Writer...a stereotype that is often quite true in my field!)

But, the one thing this company did right was its' annual holiday party. The company rented out all the ballrooms in a local mid-range hotel for one big drunken ho-ho-palooza that would leave you talking for months! Every ballroom had a theme--casino, karaoke, dancing, etc. There were HUGE spreads of food and even bigger raffles for prizes. Wine was flowing all night and there was much eating and drinking and lots of merriment. Lots of people got rooms at the hotel and partied all night. It was a blast. It was so fun that for years after I quit there, I considered finding a way to go to that party. In fact, a good friend of mine DID go several years after he quit through other friends still working at the company who got him a ticket.

But, after the festivities I always wondered, if they could raffle off 3 or 4 TVs, spa packages, new gas grills, and throw this party of all parties...and if they could afford to have these Friday evening keg parties for their young fresh-out-of-college employees, why couldn't they afford to pay their people even half of what everyone else paid in town?

I guess it is like the families that I grew up with in my tiny Texas town who lived in trailer houses, but drove the latest in high-priced sports cars and had the hottest big screen television in their living room. GO FIGURE!
OK, I have already established I am fashion-challenged, so I'm relying on you clothes horses out there. Give me a hand here! What would YOU wear to this Xmas party?