Saturday, February 04, 2006

Humpty Goes Exploring

Awhile back, I dabbled in some freelance songwriting, coming up with a little diddy that paid homage to that necessary-but-annoying garment known as the sports bra. Perhaps you remember? If not, click on over and see if you can relate to my issues with this hellish piece of clothing.

Now, I realize that these days girls are developing much earlier in life. This is something that, as the mother of a toddler girl, I push to the back of my brain, unwilling to acknowledge the day I will have to talk to her about things like periods, bras, and the birds and the bees. I have years to build up to this, right?

Why then, is it necessary to do this to our number one exploring gal, I ask you?

That's right, unbeknownst to most of us, Dora the Explorer has hit puberty. It must have happened on one of her many long adventures in the jungle and we didn't notice it. Perhaps we were distracted by Swiper the Fox when Dora slipped into her hot pink sports bra and matching undies?

Why was this necessary, I ask you? Are we so repressed in our society that our girls' baby dolls can no longer have naked bodies under their clothes? Did someone write the toy company outraged that Dora had flat baby doll boobs? Were they offended? Were they bothered by the usual sexless groin region typically put on dolls? You know, the blurred out crack region, the crotchless crotch imprinted with Made in China?

And, aside from the underwear, did the doll makers think Dora needed to have "little booby buds" to reflect kids today? And how sad is that? At her tender young age, can't she just do her exploring without having to be harnessed down by her sports bra?

Now, I can't get this image out of my head: Dora is in the mountains doing her exploring with Boots her trusty monkey sidekick when she breaks into song and vulgar dance, singing "My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps...check it out..." I am traumatized for ever.

What's next? Will we discover the Teletubbies wear thongs? Oh, that's right, I already blogged about that one...let's hope they DO!


Anonymous Paul Sveda said...

"Swiper, Nooooo swiping!!"..

I think its PC gone too far? I dunno, I don't have kids and maybe the kids will get used to curves on girls and not ponder them? or not!? I actualy didn't even recognize that as Dora at first to be honest. Hmm.. as long as they don't put Poo or Piglet in a pair of boxers then I think we are still okay or at least the wheels haven't come off the truck of society.

Michele says Ello.


2:32 PM, February 04, 2006  
Anonymous jude said...

it may not be that bad... my daughter had one that had flippers with it.. .maybe it's a bathing suit?? michele says hola!!

2:34 PM, February 04, 2006  
Blogger Crazy MomCat said...

Actually, and this will tell you how much my daughter loves Dora, we have that other doll too. This one was Dress Me Up Dora. The bath one comes with a suit painted on and a lifejacket.

2:48 PM, February 04, 2006  
Blogger Shelli said...

Sad. Just very, very sad.

7:09 PM, February 04, 2006  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I think they just added the boobs to distinguish her from Diego. It does get confusing, you know.

10:48 PM, February 04, 2006  
Blogger margalit said...

Wow, that is pretty sad. Are you sure it's not a bathing suit or something? Because there is no reason I can think of that a children's cartoon would be developing breast buds, never mind wearing a sports bra.

Here via Michele.

10:57 PM, February 04, 2006  
Blogger Lisa said...

Dora has boobies?? ACK!!! This entry had Diet Pepsi coming out of my nose. Good one! :-)

Here from Micheles!

10:57 PM, February 04, 2006  
Blogger WendyWings said...

Swiper no swiping,maybe he was playing grabby games, bad fox.
Seriously though that is just sad that Dora now has to have a bra. I thought it was a swimsuit myself.

Michele didn't send me I was just happy blogger was back so I am rushing around commenting while I can.

11:02 PM, February 04, 2006  
Blogger Karen Rani said...

Well at least she isn't all Barbie like - tiny waist, and boobies.......
Ha ha!

11:58 PM, February 04, 2006  
Anonymous Shannon (Sentimental) said...

Okay I am cracking up. But you know the strange thing? We too own that same doll but sporting totally clothing, like bathing suit? So are they selective in certain areas?

Also we bought rainy day Dora and I was outraged by the shortness of skirt, I am talking we see panties. :)

12:57 PM, February 05, 2006  
Blogger Masked Mom said...

Oh so very wrong and hysterically funny at the same time!

1:19 PM, February 05, 2006  
Blogger Carmi said...

I guess Swiper's going to be swiping more than just Dora's backpack in some upcoming episodes.


9:54 PM, February 05, 2006  
Blogger Tamara said...

Ok, I have to admit that even though I have a two and a half year old, I have only seen about 5 minutes of one Dora episode. My child is deprived. I do however know Huey Lewis and that Sports Bra parody was EXCELLENT. I am cracking up. Will get back to you on the Dora thing as soon as I catch a few shows...

10:35 PM, February 06, 2006  

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