Humpty Goes Exploring

Awhile back, I dabbled in some freelance songwriting, coming up with a little diddy that paid homage to that necessary-but-annoying garment known as the sports bra. Perhaps you remember? If not, click on over and see if you can relate to my issues with this hellish piece of clothing.

Now, I realize that these days girls are developing much earlier in life. This is something that, as the mother of a toddler girl, I push to the back of my brain, unwilling to acknowledge the day I will have to talk to her about things like periods, bras, and the birds and the bees. I have years to build up to this, right?

Why then, is it necessary to do this to our number one exploring gal, I ask you?

That's right, unbeknownst to most of us, Dora the Explorer has hit puberty. It must have happened on one of her many long adventures in the jungle and we didn't notice it. Perhaps we were distracted by Swiper the Fox when Dora slipped into her hot pink sports bra and matching undies?

Why was this necessary, I ask you? Are we so repressed in our society that our girls' baby dolls can no longer have naked bodies under their clothes? Did someone write the toy company outraged that Dora had flat baby doll boobs? Were they offended? Were they bothered by the usual sexless groin region typically put on dolls? You know, the blurred out crack region, the crotchless crotch imprinted with Made in China?

And, aside from the underwear, did the doll makers think Dora needed to have "little booby buds" to reflect kids today? And how sad is that? At her tender young age, can't she just do her exploring without having to be harnessed down by her sports bra?

Now, I can't get this image out of my head: Dora is in the mountains doing her exploring with Boots her trusty monkey sidekick when she breaks into song and vulgar dance, singing "My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps...check it out..." I am traumatized for ever.

What's next? Will we discover the Teletubbies wear thongs? Oh, that's right, I already blogged about that one...let's hope they DO!