Sunday, July 13, 2008

Pondering fate...

Today I'm pondering over fate in our lives and the miracle of it really. Why some things happen or certain people or things come into our lives and the timing with which they leave us. (Also, I should mention that I'm pretty sure that I am PMSing, hence the scary deep thinking when I've only averaged about 5 hours a sleep a night for a good 3-4 days.)

Two good friends of mine had to put their cats to sleep this week. Both situations were interesting in their timing.

One friend had just found out weeks before that her cat was very sick with cancer. She'd brought her cat home and she had seemed to rebound and was doing much better. At the same time her father-in-law had moved up quickly on a donor list for a liver transplant across the country. When she found out that her cat didn't have long to make it, my friend was stressed because she didn't know if it was time to put her pet down or not because it didn't seem to be in pain yet. But, her family could get a call any day about her father-in-law and have to fly across the country too. Would she have to leave her very sick kitty? Would she not be able to go because of her cat and then be upset she couldn't be there for her husband as his Dad faces life-threatening surgery?

In the end, her kitty suddenly got much worse on Monday and she took him to the vet to be put to sleep. Just a few short days later, they got the call that her father-in-law was headed in for transplant surgery. While she was still upset about her cat, she was so relieved and amazed that things timed out they way they did.

My dear pal, Lisa, just lost her beloved big gray cat and left a post that had me in tears. This kitty saw her through many hard times and was really a big part of her life, and even touched her friends' lives because of his unique personality and nature. He'd been in poor health all this past year, however, he hung on. The irony to me is that Lisa just returned from a cruise where she got engaged. Is it just me that wonders if her protective kitty purposely hung on until he knew that she was going to have long-standing support and love in her life with her soon-to-be husband? (This is not to say she could not stand on her own, but really when you think about it, how amazing would that be if it were true?)

Flashing back even more though, I think about my grandmother's passing just one month before I had my daughter. She'd struggled and struggled for several months before she passed. And, I think about the timing of her death now too. I used to think about how sad I was that she never got to meet my daughter, who has such a zest of life (and a fierce stubborn streak) in her that it invariably reminds me of my grandmother quite often.

I realize now that had she hung on even one week longer, I might not have been able to travel for her funeral. If I had already had my daughter, I most definitely wouldn't have been able to travel because I had high blood pressure issues for weeks after as well. As it was, I got to go to her funeral and celebrate her life and try to mourn the loss as best I could. And, almost exactly one month later, my daughter was born and the hole in my heart felt a little less big.

One really important soul left my life, only to have another join it so soon after. It made it somehow easier for me to handle it. Life is really amazing, isn't it?



Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

It is amazing how it all falls into place...

5:42 PM, July 13, 2008  
Blogger Lisabell said...

Aww Steph, thanks for this. I think the timing was not a mistake. It's interesting that you wrote this, because during Jess's last moments, as he slipped away from us, Robert leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Don't worry, I'll take care of her." Your post totally validates the relation between love and loss and timing.

3:47 PM, July 14, 2008  

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