Saturday, July 05, 2008

Little MomCat grows up...awww...

Darn that reflection and self-growth! I think it was spawned by my class reunion. There's been a lot of remembering and realizing how much I've changed over the past few weeks. And, somehow during all of that thinking time, I must have grown up a little more about something else too.

Awhile back, I posted something that reads very tacky to me now. A situation where an old friend was trying to get in touch with me and I was desperately trying to avoid her. But, between all the reunion sites, business networking sites and so forth, it was becoming darn hard to avoid her emailed requests to "reconnect" with me. Apparently, in this day and age, it is hard to actually lose touch with someone who really doesn't want to lose touch with you. In fact, I've learned it is near impossible.

This girl was really only a friend for a few years in college. She came to me at a time when I needed a very loyal friend, which she definitely was. I had been stabbed in the back and really devastated by some girlfriends from my dorm. College friend was very enthusiastic about our friendship and eventually became borderline stalkerish about it. Never had I had a friend who cared so much about doing things with me!

By the time I married, had a few really bad visits with her where she offended both my new husband and me, and then drove many miles to come to her wedding only to be insulted, I had decided enough was enough. So, I did something I've never done to a friend--I dropped her.

Only, as it turns out, college friend is very persistent. I've had probably a good 6-8 years of emails and requests being sent to me from her wanting to reconnect. And, today, when I got my newest request--one where she'd found me on a business network and I knew she knew that my account had been updated recently, I just decided it was time to be mature and stop hiding.

I accepted her request to link to me. I did not email her, and maybe she will get the hint. No reunions necessary or wanted. But, probably not. I expect to get an email from her soon.

I recently reconnected with a couple of old friends from high school and we've had a series of emails to one another that have been very interesting to me. Both women have changed and grown up in significamt ways.

One has a child with a debilitating and possibly fatal disease, who shared with me that she's learned that life is too short and things like what you have are not near as important as enjoying time with your dear family and friends.

The other friend has set aside that old need to want to impress people or feel popular and just wants to connect with people who are real--instead of being driven by impressing people with what she has or has accomplished. Ironically, she is more impressive than ever to me because of this fact.

Both friends learned valuable lessons that I feel like I did not have to learn because they are things that, thankfully, I have always known. But, that's not to say I don't have my own issues. My own lessons are coming to me these days, by way of cyberspace. And my latest revelation is this:

Friendship is a blessing, even if it fades or changes. And, if someone thinks enough of you to want to still stay friends, even after you've moved on and grown in a different direction from them, take that as a compliment. Be accepting of that, if you can. Remember why you chose that friend to begin with and all that they gave you all those years ago. Because that is something of value, no matter how much time has gone by or how much you have changed. You don't have to rekindle that friendship to honor what it was...

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Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

Awww.. lesson learned.

7:20 AM, July 06, 2008  
Blogger kristi said...

I had a friend years ago. We were friends for 10 years. After I had kids, I saw that she wasn't a very good Mother...she did a lot of jumping around from man to man. ALL she ever talked about was what man she was with at the time. I finally told her I wanted to talk about her and her KIDS not her MAN. We stopped talking.

She recently e mailed me and I said hi back but didn't encourage too much.

She talked about her new man and sent me a picture of him..WTH?? Some things never change!

12:23 PM, July 07, 2008  
Blogger Roni said...

Well said.

3:16 PM, July 07, 2008  

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