Whimper and Whine (again, sorry)
I told myself that I was going to write something funny and upbeat for my next entry. After some of my recent posts, I fear readers might label me as the Andy Rooney of Bloggers. When I reread my bah-humbug blog from last night, I got those characters "Whimper and Whine" in my head. (Remember the PBS show "The Electric Company?" Am I the only one who watched that? Anyhow, it was two kids who looked like twin sister and brother and they sang about each other being "Whimper" and "Whine." The song has been in my head since this morning. I hate that!)
But, here I am again, whimpering and whining. There are times, when I feel quite certain that I am a borderline feminist and I really get frustrated with the male species and their inability to communicate clearly with the opposite sex (or my BELIEF that they don't communicate). But, lately, it has been more often that I'm cursing about the petty and immature back-stabbing that goes on among women's circles. It has been rampant in all my social circles lately. And, friends, it is driving me MAD. I actually think no communication is better than over-communicating, analyzing, manipulating, and then using information to hurt someone you dislike.
So, I have had all these back-stabbing incidents going on around me and I do not know how to handle this. I find myself feeling so let down and disappointed in the people who are doing it. I grew up in a small town with a graduating class of 63. I watched the same pack of girls do the same type of back-stabbing through the years over and over again. Fortunately, I was very rarely the target of this. I skirted it and managed to stay friends with most everyone. But, I had friends who were not so lucky. My sister was pretty much mentally tortured by one of these back-stabbing petty girls most of her childhood and teen years. Let me tell you, THAT can change a person for life.
And, now, in several of these groups I find myself in the same position as I was growing up. Not being the target (well, in all but one instance), but bearing witness to it. It makes me want to stop and scream at these women to get a life! Who has the time to plan out elaborate schemes to smear a person's name, for no reason other than to have enjoyment in watching people get stirred up and someone else get hurt?
It is one thing to say something that unintentionally hurts someone. It is quite another to plan it out and do it to watch the group dynamics take effect and see how things shake out...as if you were studying human nature in a laboratory for research.
And, what's more, with every instance I witness of this kind of stuff, I go back further into a shell. I close myself off more to people, letting them see only so much of me. I guess it is my way of protecting myself. I don't know what else to do or how else to handle it. I just wish it would stop. I am almost 35 years old and it seems ridiculous to have to still be dealing with people like this.
I told myself when I left my gossipy little hometown, I would never again put up with people like this. I would walk away. Because I was NOT in a class of 63 anymore. I was not forced to deal with it. But, there is so much of this around me right now, that I would be walking away from my entire social life. Is that what I must do? As someone who stays home and doesn't go to an office daily, this is a scary and depressing thought.
And, if I walk away, won't I just find this in the next social group I join anyway? How can I learn to rise above this stuff, and not let it upset me, all the while protecting myself and my friends from it as it goes on? Is this what growing older and wiser is all about? If so, could someone send me the Cliff's Notes already and let me cut to the good part?
But, here I am again, whimpering and whining. There are times, when I feel quite certain that I am a borderline feminist and I really get frustrated with the male species and their inability to communicate clearly with the opposite sex (or my BELIEF that they don't communicate). But, lately, it has been more often that I'm cursing about the petty and immature back-stabbing that goes on among women's circles. It has been rampant in all my social circles lately. And, friends, it is driving me MAD. I actually think no communication is better than over-communicating, analyzing, manipulating, and then using information to hurt someone you dislike.
So, I have had all these back-stabbing incidents going on around me and I do not know how to handle this. I find myself feeling so let down and disappointed in the people who are doing it. I grew up in a small town with a graduating class of 63. I watched the same pack of girls do the same type of back-stabbing through the years over and over again. Fortunately, I was very rarely the target of this. I skirted it and managed to stay friends with most everyone. But, I had friends who were not so lucky. My sister was pretty much mentally tortured by one of these back-stabbing petty girls most of her childhood and teen years. Let me tell you, THAT can change a person for life.
And, now, in several of these groups I find myself in the same position as I was growing up. Not being the target (well, in all but one instance), but bearing witness to it. It makes me want to stop and scream at these women to get a life! Who has the time to plan out elaborate schemes to smear a person's name, for no reason other than to have enjoyment in watching people get stirred up and someone else get hurt?
It is one thing to say something that unintentionally hurts someone. It is quite another to plan it out and do it to watch the group dynamics take effect and see how things shake out...as if you were studying human nature in a laboratory for research.
And, what's more, with every instance I witness of this kind of stuff, I go back further into a shell. I close myself off more to people, letting them see only so much of me. I guess it is my way of protecting myself. I don't know what else to do or how else to handle it. I just wish it would stop. I am almost 35 years old and it seems ridiculous to have to still be dealing with people like this.
I told myself when I left my gossipy little hometown, I would never again put up with people like this. I would walk away. Because I was NOT in a class of 63 anymore. I was not forced to deal with it. But, there is so much of this around me right now, that I would be walking away from my entire social life. Is that what I must do? As someone who stays home and doesn't go to an office daily, this is a scary and depressing thought.
And, if I walk away, won't I just find this in the next social group I join anyway? How can I learn to rise above this stuff, and not let it upset me, all the while protecting myself and my friends from it as it goes on? Is this what growing older and wiser is all about? If so, could someone send me the Cliff's Notes already and let me cut to the good part?
posted by Crazy MomCat @ 1:12 AM
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