Friday, November 24, 2006

A downer of a post

This is a downer of a memory...don't read if you are expecting a happy one...

You remember her face, each time he did it. How you'd watch it fall so quickly, as if she expected the disappointment.

He was the life of the party. The good ole' boy that everyone wanted to stay for another round. And, she played the nagging wife role very well.

At first, you used to resent her for it. After all, what harm was there in a little fun? Why couldn't she ever seem to have fun? You remember how sometimes when she'd get worked up about something, he'd stand behind her and mimic her face making fun of her to you. It seemed funny at the time.

Then, as you grew older, you saw why she seemed so bitter. The hidden bar tabs, the hidden bills, and all the deceit. It was more than the lying, it was the disrepectfulness of it all. And, then you went through a time when you hated him for it. You hated him for forcing her to be the un-fun/responsible one all the time--for killing her spontaneous and happy side.

Most of all, you realize how it must have felt for her to always have to be the bad guy.

To always have to be the "fuddy-dud" who was ready to go home...

To be the one who was responsible, who thought of the kids and thought of the plans the next day...

The one who got snickered at behind her back and treated as if she was a bore, a thorn in everyone's side, a nag, no fun...

And, it strikes a raw nerve with you to this day, memories of it floating up at unexpected moments. A nerve that can never heal.

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