Beware of the HIGH talker...

Have you ever met someone and found they had an annoying personality trait or tick that you just couldn't get past?

Have you ever been that person?

The answer to both of these recently may be a "yes" for me.

I instantly labeled her a living and breathing, walking Seinfeld episode. I could see Jerry and George talking about how she was a bit of a "high talker." And, my daughter had befriended her daughter of all the kids in her Mother's Day Out class. She approached me for playdates and chit-chat often at drop-off and pick-up.

The first few times we chatted, I tried not to cringe. The voice that came out sounded so comical, almost cartoon-like, as if she'd just been sucking on helium or something. I noticed the people turning their heads to look and see who was talking that way and were the really SERIOUS.

After awhile I got past it mostly because she was a friendly and nice person. But, honestly, I think I had already subconsciously decided that I didn't know if a full friendship could be formed and if I could get past this annoying trait. And, I felt guilty for that because I really strive to be a non-judgemental person.

Mostly I wondered, did she know she was different? Did she realize she had this nails-on-chalkboard pitch to her voice that made heads turn? Did she get a clue of this whenever she'd called someone and never had to explain who she was on the phone? And, most of all, was she comfortable with this about herself? Was she like, "What the hell! This is me. I'm a high talkder. Deal with it already!"

Most recently, I think I have found myself in a similar situation with new friend who I seem to have a really ironic number of things in common with and someone for which I hope to build a really long friendship. She's the first person I've met in a few years that I really can say I click with and enjoy her friendship. But, now I fear that, this time, I'm the annoying Seinfelder to this person.

It's not anything that anyone has ever talked to me about before, this thing that I can tell completely irritates her about me. It is nothing as unusual as the high talker, nor something that would annoy me in a friend. And, I'd spell it out here, but if she reads this I don't want to risk embarassing or making her angry. But, let's just say I can tell that I annoy her in conversation with this thing, and yet until her I have never been told it is an issue at all by a single other person in my life.

And, the real problem is, I can't stop it. It is just a part of me--a sort of form of enthusiasm I express as a friend who is connecting to what you're saying. So, before I know it, I'm already doing it again and feeling her tension when I repeat my bad habit that I didn't know that I had.

And, lately, she's been making really blunt comments about it to me, that have not gone unnoticed. Each time, I first cringe and then feel a little annoyed because really is it that bad? My husband says absolutely not and he thinks this is just a sensitive pet peeve for her that must be from her past and to not take it personally. But, I can't help but now feel somewhat paranoid and fixated on this as I try not to annoy this new friend more than I already have. Yet, I start to feel annoyed myself that I have to sensor my normal flow of talking for someone when I have no issue with their way of talking which is sort of distinctive. And, if I change this about myself, will there just be something else with this person later on? Is this friendship not the good fit that I thought it was to her?

And, I am left to really wonder...am I, like the high talker, walking around causing people to exchange glances behind my back and wonder if I really get how oddball that I really am?