It's the end of the world as we know it...

Have you ever watched a movie that scared you so damn much, that you couldn't say you loved it--yet somewhere deep inside you really did?

In general, I hate end-of-the-world movies. I mean, if it is the end of the world, then let me and my family go early. I don't want to be sticking around after the big one goes off, to be one of the last ones standing. And, quite frankly, it depresses the hell out of me to watch a movie about that. I mean, in this day in age, with all the disease's one step from killing us all, global warming, 9-11 attacks, why in God's name would I want to fantasize about the end of the world really?

I just watched I am Legend with Will Smith. I have no words.

Say what you will as I know this movie was WAY the hell out there...and pardon my French... but this movie freaked my shit out completely. I just told my husband that I'm certain my blood pressure is about at the rooftop right now.

Now, I have not always been a scary movie wimp. As a teen, I loved horror movies. Fred Krueger--bring 'em on. The Shining? Thank you very much, may I watch another?

So, I have seen quite a few doozies in my time. I used to love the thrill of being scared. I can't explain it, but something happens to you when you become a parent . You stop liking the gore, the realistic scary especially, and definitely the violence.

The last movie that really got to me is one that some found completely stupid--The Blair Witch Project. I think that, had I seen this movie in a theater, I'd have left early and pissed. The way it was filmed, the whole damn thing would have disappointed me. But, something about seeing this in a dark room on my living room couch in the quiet with just my husband there, well it scared the living crap out of me. That, and the dead woods where it all took place reminded me entirely too much about the wooded areas surrounding the golf course that bordered the neighborhood in which I grew up.

I am Legend gave me the same kind of scare. If you have not seen it, do see it. I don't want to freak you out, but I think it is probably some of Will Smith's best work. The story is pretty interesting, actually, and the scary parts--well to me, they are like a nightmare come alive. Truly.

My only disappointment in this movie--why the HELL was it rated PG-13? I mean, seriously! If you have a 13-year-old who HAS seen this movie and was not permanently scarred by it, please do let me know. Because I am pretty sure that I am going to be up until I can't keep my eyes open anymore watching mediocre DVR recordings and bad wee-morning infomercials thanks to this one.

It freaked my shit out, I tell you. There is no other way to put it...

I want to be a big fish...

If nothing else than to post over that last lengthy rant and whine...

I just convinced my husband to watch one of my favorite movies with me. I don't know what it is about "Big Fish" but I find myself crying hysterically the last 10 minutes of the movie no matter how many times I see it.

The stories, the characters and how they appear all through the movie, the son realizing that his Dad wasn't really a complete fraud and embracing him for who he was in the end--giving him his final big fish story to leave this world...all of it. As I told my husband, you can't be a writer at heart and not just love that movie completely. It truly is Tim Burton's greatest film, in my eyes...

My husband actually liked it too--although Burton is a little out there typically for him. He agreed it was a great movie and I might have even seen him mist up a time or two, between my deep sobbing episodes.

That's all. It's spring break week and we have nothing planned. The thought of that makes me feel I need to come up with some big fish stories of my own to tell my kids or SOMETHING to keep them entertained, or I may go to my own watery grave!

MomCat Reviews: Bee Movie--Too much buzz, not enough sting...

Jerry Seinfeld is quoted regularly around our house. My husband I still love Seinfeld in reruns even. Some episodes are so firmly ingrained in my mind that it has seeped into my vocabulary. For example, when something really gets me, I do grimace and scowl "Newman!!!" and I have been known to pass on tales to my hubby of "close talkers" or "someone who gives something and then wants it back." (If you didn't watch the show, you will get none of that of course.)

Today, we took the kids to see Bee Movie expecting a little Seinfeldian humor to be pumped into our pint sizers, or at least be enough over their heads for us to enjoy while they giggle at little insects on the screen.

Sadly, I was a little disappointed, which surprised me. This is the third children's movie I have been to in a row that I have been underwhelmed with, all and all. Ratatouille had its moments, but still had some really slow parts. Underdog, both of my children loved and I literally fell asleep during the biggest action scenes. I also dozed some today in Bee Movie.

Worse than that, we had to sit through some of the most violent and disturbing promos (The Golden Compass and the Spiderwink Chronicles) in our G movie with my three-year-old that made me want to cover both my kids eyes.

Yes, there were some funny moments in Bee Movie. John Goodman's over-the-top Southern lawyer stole the courtroom scenes and made me laugh aloud. And, there were other cute moments scattered throughout the movie. But, for the most part it was yawn inducing for me. I also liked Patrick Warburton (aka David Putty from Seinfeld days) annoying boyfriend character and there were a few good bug on-liners in the cameos from Chris Rock and others.

But as we were leaving the theater, I thought to myself, what is happening to all of the great kids movies? Finding Nemo remains a favorite in our house, as does Monsters Inc, all the Stuart Littles, and even the more recent Madagascar. In the past year, I can't think of a single movie that can compare with any of those movies at all, can you?

The good news is, it looks like Thanksgiving will bring some other safe/fun kid flicks with Dustin Hoffman's Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, The Water Horse (cute film based on the Loch Ness monster fable), and other holiday blockbusters. I guess there's a reason the Bee Movie was put out before the holidays. All the buzz aside, Jerry's kid movie landed on my windshield with a splat.