The Duel of Dog and Cat

Isn't it funny how one situation in your life can make you have flashbacks to something dear from childhood that has nothing to do with the current happenings? That's what I'm having right now.

Two women in an organization I am in are at war. They have been for two to three years now. These ladies just don't like each other. Our group is filled with a lot of "chiefs" and not many "Indians," so it is bound to happen now and then. But, these ladies just will not let it go.

Over time I've come to realize that both have really been in the wrong at some point over the past few years. But, the real issue is that neither of them will concede or take the high road, instead they buckle down with each bickering and prepare for all out war. Only, it is those around them who really suffer at being asked to take sides or just being witness to it all. And both are lovely, smart, intelligent women who I admire in many ways...they're just stubborn. Hey, it's that stubborn gene, biting someone else in the fanny for a change!

So, while thinking of this no-win situation between my friends, a memory popped into my head. It is of my Granna, preparing me for an oral reading (oratory) competition. I must have been in the 5th or 6th grade. My friend Pam was doing the competition and it sounded like fun to me, so I decided to try. Only, I was still very shy and not an outspoken person at all. I was quite a loud-mouth showgirl at home for my family and close friends, but I later learned that standing up and reading something in front of judges and an audience, well that was downright hive-inducing to me!

My Granna helped me choose the poem and she chose one of her favorites by Eugene Field. I recently came across the old book that was a collection of his children's poems she'd given me and I had such warmth for that tired old book. She read me stories like Wynken, Blinken, and Nod before I'd go to sleep when I was very little. I was so happy to have found that book in a box of my old childhood stuff at my parents house.

The poem we chose is called "The Duel" (click to read it, it was too long to put on here), and it SO describes the situation between my two friends. But, it also describes the handful of arguments I had with my dear Granna during my growing up years. I can still hear her sweet Texas drawl, made somehow different sounding by her clear articulation of every syllable, "side by side at the table sat" and how she showed me to use my hands to tell the story as I was talking.

You see, my Granna was a Texan through and through, and a small town girl too. But, she was very educated, and a huge peeve of hers was mispronunciation of the English language. It was not uncommon at our family gatherings for dinner to be put on hold while my Granna looked up something in the dictionary to give us the exact pronunciation or spelling. Case in point: she raised two daughters, both of which started off as art students and continued that passion on the side, but ended up finishing their schooling in English. So, she raised two English teachers, and three of her four grandchildren now work in some form of writing or English teaching. The woman had convictions and passed those along to her family, that's for sure.

The few times we got into heated battles, my Grandmother and I, well I remember them clearly. The first big one that comes to mind involved her teaching me piano lessons. More accurately, it was about my lack of interest in practicing and playing the piano. We usually had a wonderful time together in whatever we did, but the piano lesson attempt was a clear backfire. On this particular day, I'd told her I was done and I held my stance, arms crossed, foot stomping down and lips pursed. She got so upset with me and I clearly remember her slightly raising her voice to me and saying, "You are SUCH a stubborn child!"

Well, you would have thought she called me every name in the book, screamed at me or beat me silly because her words so devastated me. My Granna called me a name! I wasn't even that sure of what stubborn meant at that time, but it wasn't nice. I could tell that. And I was so sad that I started to cry. It all ended with an apology and hug on her part, and not long after a rare concession that her piano teaching idea was a bad one. I ended up taking lessons for someone else and practicing at her house, which made us both happy. She got to listen to me practice and give me the occasional tip, as well as come to my recitals, and didn't get to be called "stubborn" by her anymore!

A few years before she died, we had another big argument. This time, I'd been approached by my cousins and sister to talk to "the powers that be" about us drawing names during the holidays. Most everyone asking was on a fixed income and couldn't afford to do nice gifts for everyone, as our family was really growing. Everyone seemed to be on board with it, and somehow I was elected to go and talk to Granna about it. And, she lost it. She didn't like the idea at all of someone telling her we'd be drawing names. How could we take away from Christmas like that? It had always been done that way and Christmas was about giving to your family. She wasn't going to let anyone tell her she had to draw a name! No, she would be getting us all gifts, and that was that. And, as the messenger, and I got shot by her anger and harsh words. I still remember her unyielding stance, and my surprise at how passionately she still could argue even in old age, if she felt like she was being wronged or slighted.

And, the poem, The Duel, well it still resonates with me taking me to that day and also the one many years ago, her teaching me to articulate and pronunciate each word correctly, "And oh! How the gingham and calico flew!" But, also it reminds me of my two friends, digging their heels in...unyielding..neither knowing that they're making a big mess and tearing each other down with each bitter battle. "

"Next morning, where the two had sat
They found no trace of dog or cat;
And some folks think unto this day
That burglars stole that pair away!
But the truth about that cat and pup Is this:
they ate each other up!
Now what do you really think of that!
(The old Dutch clock it told me so,
And that is how I came to know.) "