Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I am A-L-I-V-E (just barely!)

ACK!!! Has it really been this long since I've posted? This must be a record for me!

I am consumed by my magazine job right now, so much so that I have friends asking if something is wrong. I have never been good at compartmentalizing my various roles in life, and this is actual proof of that!

I'm struggling with this situation--I have one job that pays incredibly well, too well for the work I am given, and has a great boss who I get along with very well and who wants me to be working for him long term. The guy gave me a raise after a short while without my even asking! The work isn't thrilling or exciting, but it is fairly easy, quick and has short deadlines.

Job 2, the magazine job. I love this job but it is eating me ALIVE, people. I added up and in one week I spent as much time just dealing with emails that come in on this job, as the publisher told me that I would spend on a whole quarterly issue. So, I've realized that while the salary I was quoted sounded pretty nice when I first took the job, when you take into account the hours it takes to put out this 70-page quarterly magazine, well I'm getting the raw end of the deal, for sure!

Some would say, cut corners, get sloppy, do less so the pay is worth it. Well, I can't do that. It's not in my very being to do a half-arsed job. The publisher is probably counting on this as well.

So, I have this editor's job that I love, that also happens to be pretty visible in my community, that I feel like I will have to either eventually quit or somehow figure out how to streamline and cut corners without hating the finished product. Or I will be so tired that I mess something up and get fired--that's another lovely option.

In the meantime, both jobs have left me feeling trapped and burned out. I gained back some weight and feel depressed about that. It is affecting my marriage and my attitude greatly. But, I feel stuck. Completely stuck. This second job is exactly what I'd hoped for myself in about two years when both of my children will be in school full-time.

Can I hold out until then? Should I give up the great paying other job for now and risk losing that business contact? Or, will I wind up having a serious health episode or problems from the stress of it all?

The second question has to be posed for my next post, which will be entitled, "Type II Diabetes: When the Honeymoon Is Apparently Over." Sigh...

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3 Comments:

Blogger Nicole said...

I'm glad you're back! I say, as a non-perfectionist middle child, give up the great paying job that is causing you stress. You are so awesome you would have no trouble taking on more work when the kiddos are both in school in a couple of years. It just sounds like you're spreading yourself too thin and for what? As the mom you are the heart of the family and when you're burned out it affects everyone. Don't be a hero! Or, be a hero: Quit!!!

Just my 2 cents...

11:30 PM, September 19, 2007  
Blogger Aunt Vanessa said...

I agree with Nicole; you're going to have to cut back, however difficult it's going to be. You can't keep this up! Do keep us posted, though. We care about you!

10:30 AM, September 23, 2007  
Anonymous Angela said...

Gracious... I certainly hope you're finding some ways to cut back a little, just so you don't self-destruct! I've been missing the Crazy MomCat outlook on life, so don't be a stranger for too long! Take care of you...

6:00 PM, September 23, 2007  

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